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Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:40 pm
by ThelonleyMango
How do I know when someone has worked step 3?
It's in the big book and is supposbly a simple answer?

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:24 pm
by avaneesh912
if he starts the 4th step. Otherwise one has not understood what 3rd step really mean.

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2018 8:37 pm
by D'oh
I call it "The It"

When one becomes content, serene, peaceful with Life on Life's terms.

You can Sense when someone has "It", I am at times Granted "It", then I give "It" away with trying to arrange my Higher Power's Will, to suite mine.

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 11:36 am
by tomsteve
avaneesh912 wrote:if he starts the 4th step. Otherwise one has not understood what 3rd step really mean.


where i got sober there was a detox in town and the clients would be brought to meetings. i happened to be working on my 4th step when i noticed clients from detox saying something like,"i stopped at step 4 and drank." i was a little baffled so asked a man after a meeting:" i dont get it. im rockin on my 4th step yet have noticed a few people in detox saying they got to it and drank. how come they drank yet im rockin on the 4th?"
his simple reply:
"you did the first 3 steps."

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:00 pm
by avaneesh912
People could get drunk anytime. My understanding is even if we did a thorough 4th step, and fail to move on to the next phase to have someone look at it and get advice on what to work on, people are going to get drunk, because they still have not worked on overcoming the short-comings. So is the case with people with long term sobriety. If they get selfish and self-centered (by not watching those like the book suggests) they are going to step on the toe of others and they are going to hurt others and themselves and eventually they will be far away from the sunlight of the spirit and get drunk.

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:33 pm
by Blue Moon
ThelonleyMango wrote:How do I know when someone has worked step 3?
It's in the big book and is supposbly a simple answer?


When they follow a direction. We also know when we've taken back Step 3 if we relapse (ie lapse back into old ways of thinking or doing, which ends in a drink).

Step 3 is a decision to turn our thoughts and actions over to the care of a higher power. It means nothing without doing an action (which for the Steps would be to begin Step 4).

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:39 am
by Mike O
Blue Moon wrote: We also know when we've taken back Step 3 if we relapse (ie lapse back into old ways of thinking or doing, which ends in a drink).



I would add, that I also realise that I am in the process of trying to take back Step 3, when I find myself thinking or acting selfishly or trying to get my own way over something, even though I haven't actually drunk.

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:06 pm
by Tosh
avaneesh912 wrote:if he starts the 4th step. Otherwise one has not understood what 3rd step really mean.


Yes, it's as simple as that. You know you've done your 3rd when your pen is working on your 4th (and onwards).

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:17 pm
by Wiganman
I took step 3 by reading the step 3 prayer with my sponsor and making a decision to turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power. In my case it was a simple decision to move onto the next step.

Joe and Charlie explain this perfectly. When you make this decision you don't actually do anything at that moment. They compare it to deciding to go on a trip. You decide to go on the trip and then some months later you physically go on that trip. The third step is a decision to turn your thoughts and actions over to a power greater ... or in simple terms a decision to move on with the rest of the steps. If you do that and include steps 10, 11 and 12 into your daily life then you get that change, spiritual awakening and contact.

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:45 pm
by JeffS.
To me step three was when Acceptance really started making a huge impact. I started to volunteer and make donations to good causes. I started to give and for the first time in my life not expect to receive anything in return other than joy. When you stop saying me, me, me and start to think about how you can help others I would believe step three is being worked on.

Re: Question I came upon.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 3:40 pm
by avaneesh912
Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.


The above statement is a bridge between 3rd and 4th. What we do by writing inventory is arriving at those short comings that are blocking us from this Power that is going going to lead us rest of our lifes.