Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

All visitors are invited to "sign" the guest book.

Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby soap » Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:04 am

Gday All! yep, I'm from Australia. I have a drinking problem, and I've been looking at this site and the Big Book for the past week or so, and the information I can access so far has been extremely useful for me and there is so much to read!!!! What i'd been lacking for a long while, is meeting others who feel that drinking is affecting them too. I have drinking friends and siblings and they tend to say it's no big deal. But for me I feel it's affecting me more and more over the last few years of my life, I can finally admit that. I used to be a social drinker, now I'm one who felt i need to hide the few extra drinks i had in social situations so I could manage my anxiety (though, some close family and friends do manage to pick up if I'd been drinking) what's depressing is the fact I feel I have to hide my drinking, and the guilt and consequences that come along with it. One of the nasty consequences not many close to me know about is gambling, I've never gone so far as to being in debt, but I seem to spend alot of my savings. I still have foundations of a good family and a couple of very close friends in my life. Over the past few years, I've put myself in situations where some of those I socialise with are concerned with my actions and the unpredictability of whether I'll appear drunk and do or say something silly. Through stories I've read here so far on the internet, I see many people with drinking problems come from many different backgrounds and their life experiences are all varied too. Yet, tell me if I'm wrong, I see that some of us had felt that drinking will get us through those rough times in our lives and those horrible thoughts in our minds and those physical feelings like hangovers and cravings, and so that by drinking we felt it helped us through the day. For me when I drank, it numbed all the pain I've had to deal with in my life, and at the time I feel I can do anything I want, but of course when I get sober, reality came back and bit me and I get into a horrible sense of panick and guilt. The reason I've join online e-AA is that it provides me with better access of support. I have problems accessing group meetings in my area as i have a hearing impairment (communicating in a group situation is too hard as I just cannot hear people well, i'd be happy to have sign language interpreters, but they are hard to get hold of too!) and I cannot drive a car because I have epilepsy. I'm so glad that a site like e-AA exists for the times i need to just get in touch or insights, it's right here on my screen when I need it. Thank you for hanging around! :)
Soap
soap
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:36 am

Re: Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby ann2 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:57 am

Welcome! so glad you stopped in to say hi and share some of your thoughts!

Yet, tell me if I'm wrong, I see that some of us had felt that drinking will get us through those rough times in our lives and those horrible thoughts in our minds and those physical feelings like hangovers and cravings, and so that by drinking we felt it helped us through the day. For me when I drank, it numbed all the pain I've had to deal with in my life, and at the time I feel I can do anything I want, but of course when I get sober, reality came back and bit me and I get into a horrible sense of panick and guilt.


As an alcoholic, I think alcohol will help EVERYTHING. And like you, I sought oblivion. I could easily get hooked on numbness. I wasn't even able to see the connection between reality getting harder as I tried to make things easier through drinking. I had a very narrow vision! Still can, today as well.

Great step 1 stuff. Thanks!

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
User avatar
ann2
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 8687
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2004 2:01 am
Location: Somewhere in Sweden

Re: Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby leejosepho » Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:18 am

Welcome, Soap, and I would say you have found a great group here!

soap wrote:I've been looking at this site and the Big Book for the past week or so ...

I used to be a social drinker, now I'm one who felt i need to hide the few extra drinks i had in social situations so I could manage my anxiety ...

Yes, many of us know that experience well. We enjoy a little "social lubricant", but then over time it seems we need more just to "maintain" our feeling at ease ... and then we begin drinking even more than that after the *physical* aspect of our alcoholism began kicking in. As someone had first observed many centuries ago:

For the man takes a drink,
Then the drink takes a drink ...

... and all we ever really wanted was to just feel like other people looked to us: good.

You can find a good doctor's description of our overall deal, including the chronic part, within "The Doctor's Opinion" at the front of our book:

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol ...
"They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over ..."

Many of us have repeatedly tried to return to just drinking socially, but both our emotional state while sober and the physical part of our alcoholism have ultimately made that impossible. And so, the question for us has become that of how to become and how to remain okay inside without ever again having to drink anything at all and thereby triggering the physical "phenomenon of craving" of our alcoholism.

soap wrote:What's depressing is the fact I feel I have to hide my drinking, and the guilt and consequences that come along with it.

Like the doctor has also said:

"The sensation (or the 'special effect' we get) is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one ..."

We know our drinking and even some of our other actions are troubling, of course, but we feel like we are the only ones who have our kinds of troubles ... and so, we begin trying to hide many of the things we do.

soap wrote:Through stories I've read here so far on the internet, I see many people with drinking problems come from many different backgrounds and their life experiences are all varied too. Yet, tell me if I'm wrong, I see that some of us had felt that drinking will get us through those rough times in our lives and those horrible thoughts in our minds and those physical feelings like hangovers and cravings, and so that by drinking we felt it helped us through the day.

Absolutely, but then the alcohol that had always seemed so helpful in the past had somehow turned on us like a rapacious creditor. If you wish, you can find some of our experience along that line at the beginning of "A Vision For You" in our book:

"For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt - and one more failure.
"The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!"

Welcome to e-AA!
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a
time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis added)
=======================
User avatar
leejosepho
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1951
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 4:55 am
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

Re: Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby johnd » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:15 am

Hi Soap,
I just want to say "WELCOME ABOARD" my name is John I"ve only been on this site since Wednesday and I already feel at home. I've been sober for quite a while and I enjoy AA more now than in the beginning . There is plenty of help available so please just tap into it.
I was told along time ago "If you think it's better now just wait your in for the ride of your life." In time you'll see what I mean just Keep it simple and keep coming and ask those questions it really helps all of us Hope to chat soon
John D Grateful Alcoholic :D
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous
User avatar
johnd
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 814
Joined: Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:50 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Re: Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby Mike O » Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:48 am

Hi soap,
Welcome to the group.

-Mike :)
Mike O
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3311
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:55 am
Location: UK

Re: Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby Frankie » Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:10 pm

Hello soap,
Glad you're here!
User avatar
Frankie
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 10:12 am

Re: Just like other newcomers, I want to sign in and say hi!

Postby soap » Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:46 am

Thank you to all your replies....short and long...new and old....I'm getting through my ups and downs as best i can. I appreciate the indepth replies I've seen here and the welcome from members new and old. I have been doing my readings. And with the mindset that I have, I know that I will get there. No one is perfect, we learn from all we experience today, yesterday and whatever hopes we have for the next few hours or the night or the next day we can keep on going. The world wil always be here for us, the opportunities are endless...
Soap
soap
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:36 am


Return to Guest Book

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests