Ew to AA and this site

All visitors are invited to "sign" the guest book.

Ew to AA and this site

Postby Maura » Fri Nov 25, 2016 11:37 am

Hello. My name is Mary and I'm an alcoholic. Almost 2 months in the program and have attended meetings daily, sometimes 2x a day. I'm happy with my progress and the program but need to move forward now I.e., get a sponsor... is this the only proper way to do the steps?
Forums Newcomer
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:02 am

Re: Ew to AA and this site

Postby PaigeB » Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:34 pm

Hi Mary! My name is Paige and I DO think the only way to do the Steps is with a sponsor. You will hear differing opinions on this, but I tried it both ways - one got me drunk the other one didn't! This time I read through every word of the basic text of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, (The Big Book) all 164 pages plus The Doctor's Opinion which appears before chapter 1. My sponsor also had me read through the Steps in the book The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as we met each Step in the Big Book. My sponsor's perception was absolutely invaluable in my understanding of this new life of principled living. That worked for me and I haven't found it necessary to take a drink since August 1, 2009.

I tried the way of reading the Big Book myself and just doing Step 5 with another woman, but I was drunk within days of doing that. Stayed drunk for 17 more years... the entire childhood for my 4 kids.

You don't have to do those type of "half-measures" which availed me nothing. Ask yourself: Are you willing to go to any length to stay sober? If you can say yes - pick another woman who has gone through the Big Book and the Steps with a sponsor and get busy. You never have to live the the life of slavery to booze again. Work whatever Step you are working on and work it every day. Stay in meetings with the people who are staying sober. Help other women. DO the next right thing and trudge the road of Happy Destiny with Us.

And welcome to e-aa... I use this to help me with daily maintenance of the solution to my disease... my dis-ease. I still go to 3 or 4 meetings a week too. And I sponsor other women through the Steps. I gave my life to booze for a long time, now I have a bigger, better purpose and I Love this Life.
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65
User avatar
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 7824
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:28 pm
Location: Iowa USA

Re: Ew to AA and this site

Postby PuppyEars » Fri Nov 25, 2016 1:08 pm

Hi Mary. Welcome to e-AA please be wary of those that may come along and give subtle hints about going at this alone. Having a sponsor is priceless in that it makes us be held accountable. If I am not checking in with someone my self-will will eventually run riot and I end up in a position where I am alienating everyone. A great majority of folk you will meet will agree having a sponsor was/is key to being happy, useful and whole. Hope to see you around the forums!
User avatar
Forums Enthusiast
Posts: 195
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 4:39 pm

Re: Ew to AA and this site

Postby Brock » Fri Nov 25, 2016 1:42 pm

Welcome to e-AA Mary. I usually advise that using a sponsor is the easiest and least confusing way to go through the steps, while I didn't use one myself, I can appreciate that my journey would probably have been smoother if I had the right person guiding me.

There are a few of us here who didn't use a sponsor and see no need to be 'checking in' with anyone, judging from the first responses you got, we seem to have fallen out of grace to the point that new comers here are warned about us. But everyone is different, and perhaps some of us prefer to turn inward and upward for guidance from a power greater than human, (go to the throne before the phone).

At any rate a good guide to explain the steps is most valuable, and I wish you the best in finding one.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Forums Coordinator
Posts: 3608
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Ew to AA and this site

Postby ezdzit247 » Fri Nov 25, 2016 4:06 pm

Maura wrote:Hello. My name is Mary and I'm an alcoholic. Almost 2 months in the program and have attended meetings daily, sometimes 2x a day. I'm happy with my progress and the program but need to move forward now I.e., get a sponsor... is this the only proper way to do the steps?

Hi Mary and welcome.

Congratulations on 2 months of sobriety!

My name is also Mary and I'm an alcoholic too.

Some AA members choose to work with a sponsor and others don't. I chose to work the Steps without a sponsor while using the directions in the BB and 12 & 12 and attending Big Book and Step Study meetings. I used my home group as my "sponsor" in much the same way as others use the AA fellowship as their higher power. I did my first 4th Step within about 6 months of sobriety and chose another AA member to hear my 5th Step. That worked for me. There really is no "proper way" to work the AA program so feel free to choose whatever way seems to work best for you.... :D

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
User avatar
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 2072
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:38 pm
Location: California

Re: Ew to AA and this site

Postby Reborn » Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:47 pm

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.

The above is from the chapter working with others in the Big Book. It applies to sponsoring, being sponsored, talking to newcomers and old timers. Intensive work with other alcoholics is a key part of this program. Keep in mind that when you ask someone to help you through the steps you are helping them as much or more than they are helping you. I know I could have never done those steps thoroughly and honestly on my own. Today my sponsor is my friend...I don't have to 'check' in with him...rather he is a friend I have made a bond with as we Trudge the road to happy destiny.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
Forums Long Timer
Posts: 501
Joined: Mon May 25, 2015 6:20 pm

Re: Ew to AA and this site

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:12 am

Its like going into a new place with a guide and without one. You could still see the place but its better to have a guide. With alcoholism, we have already squandered our life, why waste more time, finding a sponsor who has a thorough understanding of the program will help you have a spiritual awakening quicker. Its up to you. And the worst part is, we loose that vigor if we don't get ignited. And many slip and slide.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
Trusted Servant
Posts: 4937
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Return to Guest Book

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests