Hi, just sharing my story

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Hi, just sharing my story

Postby Comawhite » Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:13 pm

Hi guys,

I'm new to the AA and I haven't attend the meetings yet. Although, I've decided to join the online discussion group first. I've started drinking when I was 14. It started with me and my friends sneaking beers and sparkeling wine from our parents and drinking at someone's house. I felt in love with booze almost instantly. For me it was like love from the first sight. All I could think about was how to get some more beer for a party, and I was always the last person to leave the party. And the most wasted one. After that, between the age of 18 and 22 I would get drunk every other day, I would usually drink a bottle of wine and 3-4 beers. On weekends I would go out and drink all night long. I absolutelly love the feeling of freedom and the ability to forget all of my problems and worries. Luckily, I managed to get married making my husband believe that my drinking was due to us having fun dating and the honey moon phase. Shortly after our life together, he realized that I was an alcoholic.
I'm going to be 25 soon, and I can't manage to stay sober for more than 5 days in a row. My only achievement was me being sober for the full 2 weeks few month ago. Now, I drink every 2-3 days with episodes of morning/day drinking on the weekends. The hardest part for me is to battle my anxiety and depression with anything else besides alcohol.
The worst part of this whole thing is that I watched my dad die from liver cirrossis few month ago. I watched him turn yellow, I watched him suffer and I watched him take his last breath. I swore on everything I could that I will never pick up a bottle, but sure thing, after the wake I was drunk and I kept getting even drunker since than. I do realize that what happend to him is going to happen to me. Although, my grief takes over my reasoning and I end up drunk again and again.
Here's my story. Hello everyone!
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Re: Hi, I'm Lily and I'm an alcoholic

Postby Chelle » Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:40 pm

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Last edited by Chelle on Sun Apr 17, 2016 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Jan 11, 2016 4:25 am

I absolutelly love the feeling of freedom and the ability to forget all of my problems and worries.


Yes, thats the common crux of the problem. Wish alcohol continued to work for us, but it, didn't. I had to find a way to live life on lifes term. Thats where the 12 steps comes into our rescue. It helps us wade through life situations with ease.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby Brock » Mon Jan 11, 2016 6:03 am

The hardest part for me is to battle my anxiety and depression with anything else besides alcohol.

avaneesh made mention above of the 12 steps being a way to live comfortably with everyday life problems, incidentally both avanessh and myself have lost family members, (brothers), to this disease, and just as you did we didn't find that enough of a wake up call at the time. But it is a medical fact that alcohol makes depression worse, and while it does a great short term job on anxiety, in the longer term, (even by the following morning), the situation is worse. I didn't expect AA to help much in these departments, but at meetings I did see some folks looking pretty cool and worry free, and this was a signal of things to come for me too. The program offers a way of living after we do the steps, which puts things in perspective, we don't get easily upset, are confident in ourselves, and don't worry needlessly about the future.

Good people will tell you go to as many meetings as possible, get someone to help you understand and do the steps, when they told me that and I went to the meetings I thought crap, do I have to do this for life ? Because of that experience, I like to point out that the meetings become less important after a while, most people do the steps within a few months, then cut back to where they feel comfortable. We don't go to the meetings necessarily to stay sober, most of us go a couple of times a week because we enjoy it, and meet new people that we may help with our experience. So if husbands or wives complain about the amount of meetings we are attending as they sometimes do, we can say it won't always be that way.

The other thing is to be quite clear in your mind, that the feeling to drink will go away completely, there will be no wringing of hands and thinking of a drink, in another thread on our forum we are discussing that. Unfortunately many people who don't know better believe that AA is meetings and struggling to stay away from a drink, it is the opposite of that, it's a cool way to live with a cool head and do the things everybody else does, we just don't need a drink to do them, best of luck to you.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Jan 12, 2016 5:01 pm

Comawhite wrote:.....I'm going to be 25 soon, and I can't manage to stay sober for more than 5 days in a row. My only achievement was me being sober for the full 2 weeks few month ago. Now, I drink every 2-3 days with episodes of morning/day drinking on the weekends. The hardest part for me is to battle my anxiety and depression with anything else besides alcohol.
The worst part of this whole thing is that I watched my dad die from liver cirrossis few month ago. I watched him turn yellow, I watched him suffer and I watched him take his last breath. I swore on everything I could that I will never pick up a bottle, but sure thing, after the wake I was drunk and I kept getting even drunker since than. I do realize that what happend to him is going to happen to me. Although, my grief takes over my reasoning and I end up drunk again and again. Here's my story. Hello everyone!


Hi Comawhite and welcome.

I am so sorry for your loss of your father.

Twenty-five is a great age to get sober. I was about 25 when I first realized I needed to do something about my drinking, but it took me another 4 long years to finally call AA for help. Even then, I bounced in and out of AA meetings for almost two years, drunk and sober, before I was finally able to accept the facts expressed in Step 1, that I was powerless over alcohol and that my life was unmanageable. The old proverb, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear", was true for me. As soon as I became teachable, I discovered AA's 24-hour plan for getting sober and staying sober and it's worked real well for me.

"....For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.” We concentrate on keeping sober just the current twenty-four hours. We simply try to get through one day at a time without a drink. If we feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor resist. We merely put off taking that particular drink until tomorrow."


You can read AA's 24-hour plan here: http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf.

Here's a link to Nancy O's story:

viewtopic.php?f=36&t=17366&hilit=nancy

Here's an excerpt from her story:

" A twenty-four-hour program

When I was about seven years sober, I started doing Twelfth Step work with alcoholics who were in relapse, and I did this exclusively for the next seven years. The first question I would ask someone was, "Were you on the twenty-four-hour program?" I never got a yes. You work differently with relapsers; they've been around AA, they know people, they know open meetings, they know closed meetings, they know names. Sometimes they're well-known because they used to do a lot of Twelfth Step work themselves. When I was living in Westchester, I'd pick people up and take them into Manhattan to one of the big meetings. This was 1951 or later. I'd say, "We're going to sit in the back; never mind the speaker, just look around the room and tell yourself that all these people are getting sober. They don't know me, they've never seen me before in their lives, they're just getting sober the way I am. And if I practice the AA program, I'll get sober too." I would never talk about anything except getting re-established as a member of A.A. that and the twenty-four-hour program -- and so I was forced to practice it.

There's probably nothing more important than a home group. I've been going to the same home group since I moved to California, thirteen years ago. I couldn't have gotten sober without a home group. What I like about a home group is this: you never have to make a decision, it's automatic. You know that's where you're going. This is where the Twelfth Step gets fulfilled, in all meetings really, but particularly in the home group. That's where we reach out to newcomers, we greet people. Everything comes out of the home group: invitations to speak, people to sponsor, being active in AA -- it all comes out of the home group."


The 24 hour "one day at a time" plan has worked real well for me and it can work for you too.

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby Brock » Wed Jan 13, 2016 6:39 am

This 24 hour deal has been floated before, unfortunately it gives the impression that staying away from a drink 24 hours at a time is not just a tool for newcomers, (which it is), but also how people stay sober long term, which might be inferred when we say things like this.
As soon as I became teachable, I discovered AA's 24-hour plan for getting sober and staying sober and it's worked real well for me.

This has led to fairly heated arguments on our forums, because experienced people here who have benefited from doing the 12 step program as laid out in our literature, are vary wary of new people getting the wrong impression, and thinking that the program means a daily struggle to resist drinking.

The pamphlet to which a link is given contains some useful information, but if one should only read the page where this plan is outlined it can cause great harm. The page following this starts with the headline “The 12 Steps” and this is where the solution lies. Further on in the leaflet they even warn what can be the result of just white knuckling our way through one day at a time, they say this -
Some of us were able to stay sober, occasionally, for periods of days, weeks, and even years. But we did not enjoy our sobriety. We felt like martyrs. We became irritable, difficult to live and work with.

Here is another section where the truth is told, but again will not be seen when we direct the reader to the 24 hour page -
The answer is that, once having achieved sobriety, we try to preserve it by observing and following the successful experience of those who have preceded us in A.A. Their experience provides certain “tools” and guides which we are free to accept or reject, as we may choose. Because our sobriety is the most important thing in our lives today, we think it wise to follow the patterns suggested by those who have already demonstrated that the A.A. recovery program really works.

And so when new people visit meetings and hear speakers describing these tools, which is another term for the steps we take and live by, these are the folks whose advice we should follow. They will show us the way as laid out in our literature, the way to complete freedom from temptation and fighting urges, the way to live on a daily basis, in so much as not worrying about the future or agonizing about the past is concerned. And when you hear speakers of which unfortunately they are a few around, who may say things like I have been staying sober for so many years one day at a time, every day resisting the urge to drink, please turn away from them for they do not understand or practice the program.

It is hoped this post will not incite any argument on our forums, which have been blissfully argument free for some weeks. But these ideas which are not in keeping with AA principles and teaching deserve pointing out.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby Merl » Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:16 pm

Wow! Speaking to one of the choir here. I totally get what you're saying and feeling. I really took a hard turn into drinking when I lost my mother. If you go back through my posts you may find some parallels. I buried my feelings instead of dealing with them and processing them. I was living my life but I wasn't involved in it. By the grace of God I'm now at day 71 in my sobriety. The first few days were very difficult. I too started here and through the encouragement of friends here I went to a face to face meeting, I have a sponsor who gets me and we're the best of friends. I truly love my sponsor. The one thing I mentioned here that really struck me was when my spouse said,"I was wondering when you were going to stop beating yourself up." If I may, I'd like to pose that thought to you. You are young and have the opportunity for a long life with your husband. You are in the drivers seat. I learned that lesson at age 53. If I may pass my current wisdom onto you I'd just say start driving, you both will have a beautiful journey. I found that when I was caught up in the "me" I was missing out on the "us". Thank God I have a very patient, loving and forgiving spouse. I'm sure you do too. Stay with the program for yourself and you'll see how much more living there is to do. Personally, my life opened up once I closed the bottle.

Make today the first day of your journey. God bless you.
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby PaigeB » Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:20 pm

Thank goodness we all have Today.

Helped me in the beginning and it helps me now. I don't have to be perfect, I can try again now or tomorrow. I don't have to drink, I can wait til a meeting, wait til I can make a call or just stay sober today - tomorrow will be different, especially if I DO something different!

It has been a few 24 hours since I set down my beer and I haven't found it necessary to take a drink in over six years after stringing those 24's together. Of course, more than just waiting around is necessary. I also went to meetings, got a sponsor and worked the 12 Steps with that sponsor. I still don't wait around, I go to meetings, serve on committees, sponsor other women and come here daily!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby PaigeB » Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:46 pm

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

It is not contingent on peak condition, but on maintenance... the work we do daily... on spirit.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby positrac » Fri Jan 15, 2016 5:00 am

I was 23 when I did this life changing event and I can say 26 years ago the rooms weren't full of people my age and it was awkward and kind weird as I never experienced what the old timer had endured. I have now seen the light of life as I am older and life caught up with me and I endured all of those events sober and it wasn't pleasant but I accepted that part of life.

It can be hard not to feel confident with your peers when they do and you don't and for that you will have to change People, Places and Things if you are to find inner success with sobriety. Like minded people is what I am saying in short.

I live by this: H- Hungry A- Angry L- Lonely T- Tired : Work on not allowing these to creep up and get you. Lonely I will also caution you on the opposite sex and physical relationships as you can get jammed up and also we should strive in not hurting another for our own greed.

Stick around and this post will make sense in time.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby ezdzit247 » Fri Jan 15, 2016 1:53 pm

Hi Comawhite

Hope you made the decision to go an a meeting in your area and found some hope that you too can recover from your drinking problem. Thanks to the internet, there are many many online resources for people in recovery these days. The online Serenity Book Club has the 1st 164 pages of the BB available in html which you can browse through at your own pace by clicking on different chapters. It also has a handy word search feature at the top of each page for BB references on different topics like "fear", "anger", "resentment". "honesty". "willingness", etc. Here's a few more recovery websites you might want to browse to find helpful information about recovery as well:

Staying Cyber
12 Step Forum
Sober Recovery
AA Grapevine
AA Activeboard
AA Online Group
Step Chat

Glad you found this forum.. Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Hi, just sharing my story

Postby ann2 » Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:42 pm

Check out the listing of online meetings available here as well

aa-intergroup.org/directory.php

Ann
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