Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

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Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:19 pm

Introducing myself as an alcoholic that has recently returned to AA after an absence of 11 years. I left AA at Christmas 2003 and only returned to attending meetings as a participating AA member in mid-March this year. In that time I was abstinent from alcohol, but psychologically unwell, as no doubt you can imagine. Stopped drinking in Sept. 1987, but mental health and emotional sobriety have suffered through neglect. I have much to learn and do, and indeed, re-learn and re-do. I hope to learn much here on e-AA Group. Be good, Red
Last edited by Redflier on Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Duke » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:25 pm

Welcome back Red. I've found this to be a good place to come and I've made new friends from around the world. I'm glad to add you to that list.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:26 pm

Thanks, Duke. I am in Sydney, Australia.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:57 pm

Redflier wrote:Introducing myself as an alcoholic that has recently returned to AA after an absence of 11 years. I left AA at Christmas 2003 and only returned to attending meetings as a participating AA member in mid-March this year. In that time I was abstinent from alcohol, but psychologically unwell, as no doubt you can imagine. Stopped drinking in Sept. 1987, but mental health and emotional sobriety have suffered through neglect. I have much to learn and do, and indeed, re-learn and re-do. I hope to learn much here on e-AA Group. Be good, Red


I ought to have added that I was in AA for 16 years before I absented myself from the rooms from Christmas Day 2003 to mid-March 2015. Red
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Niagara » Mon Aug 31, 2015 1:14 am

Hey and welcome Red :)
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:43 pm

Niagara wrote:Hey and welcome Red :)


Thanks, Niagara. :)
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Lali » Tue Sep 01, 2015 5:28 am

Welcome, Red. Looking forward to hearing more from you!
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby positrac » Tue Sep 01, 2015 5:52 am

Redflier wrote:Introducing myself as an alcoholic that has recently returned to AA after an absence of 11 years. I left AA at Christmas 2003 and only returned to attending meetings as a participating AA member in mid-March this year. In that time I was abstinent from alcohol, but psychologically unwell, as no doubt you can imagine. Stopped drinking in Sept. 1987, but mental health and emotional sobriety have suffered through neglect. I have much to learn and do, and indeed, re-learn and re-do. I hope to learn much here on e-AA Group. Be good, Red



Welcome and I wanted to throw out some idears regarding our situation of being alcoholic as it was said in Darwin NT (pissheads) This is only the symptom and the rest we are having to really deal with our the character defects. As you may know Australia almost didn't grab on to the simple logic of sobriety that Bill W. mentions in the big book. I had the 50th Anniversary BB with the red cover that Australia put out back in 1995. I lived in Australia for a period and I found our lot to be full of vigor and a wealth of knowledge and some of the best times I had anywhere in the world I traveled.

I would suggest if you are going to face 2 face meetings is start with 90 meetings in 90 days and find a sponsor and regroup and get to living. Your lot like I said are tough souls that give it hard as they take it and you can make it and that is hope.

Cheers
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby MichelleH » Tue Sep 01, 2015 9:54 am

Red I am in the same position. I am recently returning ti A.A. after a long time away. I too have remained sober but have not worked steps or attended meetings and in the past couple of years life has become very very stressful. I find myself not knowing how to handle these situations even though I don't drink, I have "dry" drunk behavior. I am back to A.A. and I feel like a newcomer in some ways.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:40 pm

Lali wrote:Welcome, Red. Looking forward to hearing more from you!


Thanks, Lali.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:56 pm

positrac wrote:
Redflier wrote:Introducing myself as an alcoholic that has recently returned to AA after an absence of 11 years. I left AA at Christmas 2003 and only returned to attending meetings as a participating AA member in mid-March this year. In that time I was abstinent from alcohol, but psychologically unwell, as no doubt you can imagine. Stopped drinking in Sept. 1987, but mental health and emotional sobriety have suffered through neglect. I have much to learn and do, and indeed, re-learn and re-do. I hope to learn much here on e-AA Group. Be good, Red



Welcome and I wanted to throw out some idears regarding our situation of being alcoholic as it was said in Darwin NT (pissheads) This is only the symptom and the rest we are having to really deal with our the character defects. As you may know Australia almost didn't grab on to the simple logic of sobriety that Bill W. mentions in the big book. I had the 50th Anniversary BB with the red cover that Australia put out back in 1995. I lived in Australia for a period and I found our lot to be full of vigor and a wealth of knowledge and some of the best times I had anywhere in the world I traveled.

I would suggest if you are going to face 2 face meetings is start with 90 meetings in 90 days and find a sponsor and regroup and get to living. Your lot like I said are tough souls that give it hard as they take it and you can make it and that is hope.

Cheers


Yeah, the 90 meetings in 90 days was something I never did when I got out of rehab in 1987. It may be a good way to go. Over the last few months I've been going to 5 to 10 meetings a week. I am finding it easier to go to meetings now. For the first 4 or 5 months I fought going to meetings and had to force myself to get my arse on a seat in an AA meeting. My "adviser" in AA, he refuses to call himself a sponsor and eschews the term, has also recommended that I speak if I am called. I've been reluctant to do this for several reasons. First, I get as nervous as hell when I speak from the floor of a meeting, something that never affected me in the 16 years, from 1987-2003, that I was in AA the first time. Second, I get tired of telling my story repeatedly. And third, I have to force myself to speak because I fought speaking from the floor of meetings, too. I thought too much of what I said was just self-indulgent drivel, too, and it would be better if I did not say anything. But as I know myself, it is better that I speak than not speak because if I stop speaking I could say another farewell to AA. When I left AA on Christmas Day 2003, I had not spoken at an AA meeting for some months, always declining to speak when called. Consistently and persistently refusing to speak at AA meetings is a sure sign that eventually I will take myself out of AA.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Tue Sep 01, 2015 8:03 pm

MichelleH wrote:Red I am in the same position. I am recently returning ti A.A. after a long time away. I too have remained sober but have not worked steps or attended meetings and in the past couple of years life has become very very stressful. I find myself not knowing how to handle these situations even though I don't drink, I have "dry" drunk behavior. I am back to A.A. and I feel like a newcomer in some ways.


Yes, I realize that some others have done what I have done. One fellow alcoholic here absented himself from AA for 15 years. No alcohol, just living with his own alcoholic mind and personality. Untreated alcoholism, or dry drunkenness, is a very difficult condition to be in. No anaesthetic from alcohol and no support from other sober alcoholics. Dry drunken depression and anxiety went through the roof for me. I couldn't hold down a job even though I wasn't drinking. Abstinence from alcohol is just not enough. We take our alcoholic minds and personalities with us when we pack up and leave AA.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Brock » Wed Sep 02, 2015 7:36 am

Redflier wrote: For the first 4 or 5 months I fought going to meetings and had to force myself to get my arse on a seat in an AA meeting.

I get some folks rolling their eyes and giving me a vexatious sort of look, every time I say that after doing the steps we can cut down on meetings. Because I also had to force myself at first, and fortunately I found out that the time would soon come when I could choose if to attend or not, I like newcomers to know that. Recovered alcoholics attend meetings to help others and remind themselves where they came from, not just to stay sober as we did at the start.

In the original post Red spoke of …”mental health and emotional sobriety have suffered through neglect.” But I think here they suffered not through neglect of going to meetings, rather neglect of not staying spiritually fit, going to meetings does help us remember the need for the spiritual side of the program, but once we stay in the groove spiritually meetings should be on a ‘feel to go’ basis.

My "adviser" in AA, he refuses to call himself a sponsor and eschews the term,...

That’s like music to my ears, and a few others here have said the same thing, anyone we ask for advice is an advisor, a fellow in AA who knows the right way to do something, or someone at the side of the road giving directions when we are lost. The word sponsor I think has been corrupted by some who think it gives them a license to give more than advice on just AA matters, amateur psychologists and life coaches we don’t need, assistance in following the directions in the book only please.

Second, I get tired of telling my story repeatedly.

More music, it means in the not too distant future, when you are living the solution you will cut down on the war story, use it to identify only, and then say how AA worked for you, nice to have you here and best of luck.
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Stepchild » Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:38 pm

Welcome Red!....Great post Brock!
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Re: Recently returned to AA. Recently registered.

Postby Redflier » Wed Sep 02, 2015 9:09 pm

Yeah, well, I am hardly a newcomer. I came into AA in Sept. 1987; indeed, yesterday (Sydney time), Sept. 2nd, was my 28th anniversary of (hopefully) my last drink, which was on Sept. 2nd, 1987. I was relieved of the compulsion to continue drinking when I admitted, and believed, that I was an alcoholic and gave up fighting it. I did the steps, and did them hard and as best I could in the first 3 years of sobriety, but something happened about the three-and-a-half-year mark and the matters started to go awry and depression set in. One thing I didn't have and should have had was an AA adviser, or "sponsor," to help me through this particularly difficult time. We are always smarter after the event.

I didn't drink in the period of depression as I rationalized that if I did, it would only make matters worse, not better. So as bad as it was when I descended into full-blown clinical depression, I did not see drinking as some alternative. And the other reason was if I did drink, there was no guarantee that I would return to AA, as I was still attending AA meetings at this time. When I physically left AA at Christmas 2003, it was only a matter of taking my body out of meetings and ending any further contact with AA members. But spiritually, mentally, morally, emotionally, psychologically, any way you'd like to put it, I had left AA years before I physically left it. When I no longer wanted what you have, it was easy to leave, even though I still did not want to drink.
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