Tosh, Thank you for the information, I just looked for XA-Speakers
And now I'm about to listen to "Chris C. from Dallas, TX speaking at the Primary Purpose group's 27th anniversary celebration in Dallas, TX - January 24th 2015" on my way back home. (I am not sure if i understand what that Chris is trying to tell, because of my quaint english skills...

)
I totally agree with the first step, that we should admit we're powerless. But for me, the favorite was step 8.
"made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all"
I am still feeling very sad and sorry thinking of my boyfriend who just left me, but I am writing an email every night before I go to bed.
(and I think he noticed that I'm writing at a certain time)
And I feel terribly sorry for my grand mother who's living with me. She had to be worried every night I come home late, with some more alcohols, crying out.
I am doing this not only for him but for myself for sure. Because I know It wouldn't go for so long if it's for another person only.
It's more like for myself being hurted by "me who did not care me".
I want him to realize how much I am trying to get back, and how much I am eager to be just like anyone else.
Unfortunately, I could not sleep well last night, because of nightmares that woke me up every 5 minutes, Still I'm feeling better to have hangover at work.
I think I was a bit worried of what if I start to drink again and never come to made my mind to stop drinking. (Beers could help for that maybe.)
Korean internet group in the biggest web portal called "naver cafe" is also very helping, and they told me it's very natural to have sleepless night.
I feel like I am being addicted to another thing replacing alcohol, to relieve myself, but what! this forum doesn't bring forum-over.
Also I'm very excited to visit another meeting held tonight. People I met at the meeting last night told me it's going to be a bigger one, including many women like me.
I want to, one day, like you Tosh! be someone's support very soon. Thank you very much.