Members who verbally attack in meetings

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Re: Members who verbally attack in meetings

Postby clouds » Mon Aug 24, 2015 10:27 am

Lali wrote:The meetings that I have attended where there has been bad behavior, including shouting insults across the room, those who are misbehaving have been the OLDTIMERS. My guess is that these are people who haven't worked the steps. They like to talk about how AA was better "back in the day". Rather than helping the newcomers they prefer to lament about how bad AA has become.

What I think (FWIW) should have happened with the AA who was attacked, members should have rallied around him to give him the feeling of being safe In the meeting, going so far as making sure he shared their table. And making sure he had their phone numbers. IMO it is our duty to make newcomers feel safe if we want them to continue attending meetings.


I agree. If someone is attacked at a meeting, we should make sure they are ok spiritually and know the meeting will be safe next time they attend it.

Its really a priority to make sure newcomers feel safe. We read how around two average newcomers here at e-AA a week tell us how uncomfortable they are about attending their first f2f meeting. How many would return if they sat through angry outbursts of yelling and insults, even if its not directed at them?

My first few meetings certainly weren't filled with warm fuzzy huggy people, they were, however, honest women and they shared from their own experience what they were like, what happened, pointing out the nature of this disease of alcoholism. There wasnt any bickering or friction. I came to trust many of those original women and it was them who showed me it was possible to get sober by following the AA program for sobriety.

The groups who are having these problems can only solve it with a business meeting and discuss solutions.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Members who verbally attack in meetings

Postby clouds » Mon Aug 24, 2015 10:42 am

Meetings in Rome and the States and Canada I have been to more recently were carried on with dignity and sobriety. I find there are more discussion groups now than step groups, but that just means we have to start some more step groups and BB study groups.

In general people have become less polite over my lifetime. I haven't been to areas where AA has changed. But even in the prison meetings I went to and in more or less inner city meetings in Vancouver I didn't experience the sort of dehumanizing outbursts described in this thread myself.

I doubt I would go back to such meetings after such a fiasco.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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