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Postby Angie W » Thu Dec 04, 2014 7:45 am

Hello everyone, :?

My name is Angie and I'm an alcoholic. My sober date is May 4th, 2012. My alcoholism started on Jan 6th, 2008 when my spouse of 18 years died of a heroin overdose. That night My 2 sons were also taken away. On Nov 24th, 2014 I went to my local hospital's emergencies dept. I felt like I was losing my mind. I was thinking what's the point of living anymore. I had no plans to actually attempting suicide. After talking to a nurse and Dr in the mental health dept I found out it was a possible side effect

I have microscopic Colitis and was on prednisone first at home then admitted to hospital for 8 days 3 days on iv then 5 days on tablet. I was sent home on a taper this was on Nov 12th. This time the side effects were horrific. Anger, could not concentrate, irratable, hyper, hungry, sweating etc... I felt like my head was going to explode. I called my GI Dr and when his secretary called back I was told to stop the medication.

I now know it was my consequences catching up with me. It all got triggered when I was at a fellow group members home for her annual Thanksmas dinner on Nov 16th. There were children there running around playing an laughing. At the time I was thinking wouldn't it be wonderful if my some were there.

I guess what I'm actually asking is when do others feel their consequences catching up with them? My sponser said generally year 2 is the hardest. Any questions are welcomed :)

Thank you
Angie W
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Re: Consequences

Postby Hanna » Thu Dec 04, 2014 9:41 am

Hi Angie,
My sober date is June 17, 2012, so we're about the same time sober. Lately I've been feeing agitated and moody also, I shared with my home group and they also agreed that 2 years is turning point. While I am comfortable in my program and grateful to be sober they suggested I was experiencing a sense that I am about to move onto the next phase of development, whatever that is. The realization that it's time to truely participate in creating the life I want is probably the cause of my agitation. Up until now I have just been so very grateful to not be obsessed with alcohol any longer, that I was satisfied to not rock the boat (life). I've been very low key and quiet because I felt so guilty for so long. Some mornings I still wake up with axiety and have to be awake a few minutes to realize that I really don't have to feel that way anymore, I'm ok. So if I'm ok, then what? I guess it's time to do more than dream about having those things back that we never thought we were worthy of having. Change is uncomfortable but inevitable, and I feel a change maybe coming that's why I feel so irritable, but I'm confident that it will be a good change as long as I practice the 12 steps in my life everyday.
Stick around, we'll get through this together, sending healing thoughts and strength your way~~
Love, Hanna
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
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Re: Consequences

Postby positrac » Thu Dec 04, 2014 10:20 am

I don't remember my two year mark as much as my 5 year mark and at the time it was hell on earth and I somehow made it through and those around me somehow tolerated my whining! Pink clouds don't last forever for a reason and growth is one of our best assets we have as I see it. We are allowed to grow and mature and one day if we are allowed no one may ever know we drank and had lives out of control. Making mistakes sucks but we can take ownership for them and we can feel the heat from our mistakes and on the brighter side we can remember our days and have fun learning that addictive ways aren't necessary for survival.

You guys have a lot of life ahead and this to shall pass and right now that isn't hitting the spot but in 6 months you both might be laughing at this thread because it wasn't as bad as you thought it was.

Stay cheerful and keep smiling because you are hope to the one who still suffers.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.
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Re: Consequences

Postby Lali » Thu Dec 04, 2014 5:57 pm

Welcome, Angie! I don't have anything to add just now but I hope to continue to see you around these forums!
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Consequences

Postby PaigeB » Thu Dec 04, 2014 7:13 pm

Welcome Angie! I am on the run right now, but glad that you found us! We all have to clear up the past, each of us to varying degrees. A lot of mine was personal stuff that I had to come clean on, make a plan and then follow the plan to completion. One, two, three... just counting nuts and bolts, following a recipe, sweeping the floor. Doing the next right thing.

We also have a women's forum! I think if you PM Hanna she can help out!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Consequences

Postby Duke » Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:12 pm

Welcome Angie. I think for me, a lot of the sense of untold consequences coming my way was the result of being fully conscious, for the first time, of my motives and how often I'd sacrificed someone else's peace of mind for my selfish needs. In other words, I developed a conscience as a result of honestly working the steps.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I think in time you'll find that you're very grateful for the new awareness. One thing for certain; it makes it very difficult to compound those lingering consequences any further. In time, I think you'll find that you can be at peace knowing you're doing what is humanly possible to deal with them in a loving way.

My best to you on your journey. I hope you stick with us.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Consequences

Postby Niagara » Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:34 am

Welcome, Angie :)
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
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