Christmas madness

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Christmas madness

Postby Andrew » Tue Dec 02, 2014 12:39 pm

Hi... My name is Ian and I'm an alcoholic.
I have a shaky dilemma to share. In two weeks ( here I go projecting again)!, I have the dreaded work Christmas party. I am scared and fearful because it will be messy. I am in my fourth week only of sobriety ( about the 10th attempt)! I know I should probably not go...I don't know what to say to the appropriate people...I don't want to tell a white lie...(vigorous honesty!!). I have no overburdening compulsion to drink right now, but being around it may send me over the very fine line. I think I have probably answered my fear, but would welcome any comments if possible.
Thanks and God Bless you.
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Dec 02, 2014 12:42 pm

Do you know Bill W on his 3rd trip to the hospital worked the steps while he was there in about 3 weeks and once he was out started pulling drunks out of the gutter and talking to them about his white light experience? You have about 3 weeks, you could try what Bill W did with his friend Ebby.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby PaigeB » Tue Dec 02, 2014 12:50 pm

Hi Andrew. Glad you asked the question. It is something that alkies numerous years of sobriety deal with year around. It is a daily issue really, our sobriety and our sanity is but 1 drink from ruin. Sometimes our serenity is under fire even though we may not drink.

I think the Big Book says that we cannot avoid the booze or others drinking the rest of out lives. We must ask ourselves, "Do I have any legitimate business in being here?" And it is good to have a way out - fast. For me it was important to take my own car so I could leave whenever I wanted. I thought about taking another, more solid, AA and my "plus 1". I have the phone numbers of many many AA's in my phone and can slip off to the restroom and make a call. I think I always planned to leave early and to hit a meeting before & after the event.

IF I have to be there... I am not sure I would consider much going these days... I have a hard time with a bunch of folks drinking... so I just remove myself the way I might get out of the way of a rolling street car!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby Layne » Tue Dec 02, 2014 12:57 pm

If you don't want to go, thank them for the invitation but you are going to have to decline at this time as you have another commitment that has a higher priority. You don't need to explain any further, nor do you need to tell them that the commitment is to your sobriety.
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby Niagara » Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:38 pm

Hello and welcome

The steps are what's helping me to have a defense against the first drink. Willpower alone tends to get me nowhere except in hot water.

Alcoholism is a fatal illness. If I start to put fear of saying no above my commitment to my sobriety, I'm in trouble. Maybe six feet under, trouble. Part of my alcoholism is the extreme difficulty I have in stopping, after that first drink. Once that first drink is down, off I go. If I were to pick up again, who knows when I would be able to stop again? Tomorrow? In a month? Never?

I've been out a couple of times now, since my sober date back in July. Each time I had a 'get out' clause, plus a phone and AAers I could speak to should the need arise. I had a good time, without the drink, despite a couple of shaky moments.

Best wishes x
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby PaigeB » Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:07 am

Funny thing happened for me when I did go out around some normal drinkers... you see, I thought everyone drank like I did and that thy would notice that I was abstaining and be all up in my business. What I found, besides being completely wrong about what they would be (in the future) thinking... I found out that these folks did NOT think like I thought about alcohol. I was obsessed and I thought they were too - that they were obsessed so much that they would pay a lot of attention to their drinks and their drinking. That was just plain untrue!

We DO NOT think about alcohol the same way that non-alcoholics do. Flat out truth. We are bodily and mentally different from our fellows... just like the book says.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby ann2 » Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:33 am

This is available in the holiday issues of Box 459. I printed this from http://www.aa.org/newsletters/en_US/en_ ... iday13.pdf
(Reprinted from Box 459 Vol. 59, No. 4 / Winter Issue 2013, page 10, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.)

Twelve Tips on Keeping Your Holidays Sober and Joyous.jpg
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"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby positrac » Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:36 am

Layne wrote:If you don't want to go, thank them for the invitation but you are going to have to decline at this time as you have another commitment that has a higher priority. You don't need to explain any further, nor do you need to tell them that the commitment is to your sobriety.

Bingo.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Christmas madness

Postby whipping post » Wed Dec 03, 2014 5:38 am

positrac wrote:
Layne wrote:If you don't want to go, thank them for the invitation but you are going to have to decline at this time as you have another commitment that has a higher priority. You don't need to explain any further, nor do you need to tell them that the commitment is to your sobriety.

Bingo.


Great stuff. I am at 5 months and feel like I have pretty strong sobriety. However, I have declined one Thanksgiving dinner and one Christmas party. Sobriety is too important to take a chance on losing or just even being very tempted. Life is too good. I can miss one or two parties to keep it that way.
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