Hello and Hi and Grateful

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Hello and Hi and Grateful

Postby Kimberly H » Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:19 pm

Hi everyone.

I'm new here...Not new to not drinking, but new to getting support instead of white knuckling my way through a world who can drink responsibly.

I have created a pretty awesome life. I used to be homeless, drunk and meth addict begging for money at gas stations. Now I'm not.

I came to a point last week after 11.65 years of not drinking, wondering why I'm not drinking or drugging.

My life did become better not drinking. But if I want to connect with my husband, it has to be around booze.

For most of our 12 years of marriage, he always had buddies he drank with her at the house. Slowly, they all died from complications from drinking. Some of them got married and spend time with their spouses. Now he spends time alone drinking. I get mad, because he wants me to come out and sit with him...

I'm resentful and hate myself for it.

I'm grateful to be here. Even though I started with my first post being negative.
Kimberly H
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Re: Hello and Hi and Grateful

Postby ann2 » Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:13 pm

Welcome Kimberly! I'm so glad you are here and posting. I don't take what you share as negative -- just realistic. It's great you are finding that there's more to sobriety than white-knuckling it. I would be mad at my husband too if he behaved that way.

AA has a program for me, the alcoholic, that shows me a better way of living. Al-Anon helps me when it comes to managing with other people in my life whose drinking bothers me. I think you would be welcome in meetings of both fellowships :)

Hope to keep reading you!

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Re: Hello and Hi and Grateful

Postby Lali » Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:26 pm

EDIT: After I posted this, I read in another thread that you are indeed going to meetings! Great!

Kimberly H wrote:I have created a pretty awesome life. I used to be homeless, drunk and meth addict begging for money at gas stations. Now I'm not.


THIS IS AWESOME, KIMBERLY!!

Kimberly H wrote:I came to a point last week after 11.65 years of not drinking, wondering why I'm not drinking or drugging.


IMO, my guess is that you aren't drinking or drugging because you really don't want to. If you did, you would not be here posting. I don't know if you have ever attended an Alcohol Anonymous face to face meeting. In AA, I utilized the tools that other AAs showed me worked for them. And after a few false starts, I was able to get and stay sober. Well, not just sober, but happy, joyous and free as well. I will tell you what worked for me although I don't have the kind of sober time that you have. This is not in any way intended to belittle your accomplishment of 11 plus years!

So, I go to as many meetings as I can make to stay connected with the fellowship, but more importantly, I found a sponsor to walk me through the steps. Working the steps and then living the steps allowed me to get rid of all the yuck stuff I had been carrying around my entire life. Working the steps will very likely result in you no longer needing to "white knuckle" it. As a result of the spiritual awakening that I experienced, the obsession to drink was lifted. And this put me in a position to be able to give what was freely given to me by being there for other alcoholics. Which, in turn, helped me.

And as Ann suggested, Al-Anon meetings are a great source of support for those who have loved ones active in their disease. I hope you will stick around here and get started with face to face meetings as well.

One last thing, when a fleeting thought of my time "out there drinking" comes to mind, I literally shudder. I was in a real dark place, fun times long, long gone, and fortunately, that is what I remember. And, thankfully, I now have a healthy fear that were I to go back there, I may very well never make it back.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Hello and Hi and Grateful

Postby Squawking Hawk » Thu Oct 16, 2014 4:16 am

Welcome Kimberly, glad you are here. I see from another post on this thread that you have posted in another thread. Look forward to reading more from you.

Hawk
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