New member needing help

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New member needing help

Postby Jimmybar » Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:14 pm

Hi everyone, my name is James. I'm 31 and live in Australia. I'm pretty new to the whole AA thing, I've been to a couple of meetings over the last few months but still feel kinda confused with the whole thing. Maybe because I'm scattered most of the time. I'm not sober yet but am aware that I'm killing myself with my drinking. I drink every day and have done so for years. I drink until I pass out most of the time. I have a wife and two children and they don't know how much I drink. I still have a job and work late most of the time and by the time I get home the kids are in bed and my wife is heading there soon so I'm left to my own devices and will polish off a couple of 6 packs or a bottle of vodka before passing out. Just the other night my wife woke me up on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night and I passed it off as sleep walking. Anyway, I'm sick of the lying, I'm sick of feeling like rubbish and I'm sick of wasting my life and I worry about my children growing up with a drunk for a dad. I know how hard it is to have an alcoholic parent. My mum is an alcoholic and she used to abuse me and my sister, who is also an alcoholic now. I've never abused or hit my wife or kids and I never even really yell but I'm aware that I'm neglecting all of them by sleeping in all the time instead of getting up with the rest of them and taking my eldest to school and dumping it all on my very understanding wife. So to sum up I need help PLEASE!
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Re: New member needing help

Postby John ace » Tue Apr 29, 2014 11:49 pm

G'day jimmy
I gave up the grog at age thirty same scenario as you wife found me on the kitchen floor as well. I stopped with AA meetings it took two years for the craving to stop but life improved after I decided to put the drink down for good. It wasn't easy 9 years sober recovered after 3 years then life became a comfort I had never imaged .if alcohol costs you more than just the money (self respect health emotional development of you and your loved ones dignity and the list goes on ,add to it if you must but I chose to stop there) then get involved with AA. John Melbourne vic Australia .
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Re: New member needing help

Postby strider » Wed Apr 30, 2014 2:15 am

Has your life become unmanageable?

Try reading "The Dr.'s Opinion" in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, right at the beginning of the book. It is available online, free. It will, perhaps, answer a few questions for you. This is the best advice I can give you right now.

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Re: New member needing help

Postby PaigeB » Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:57 am

It is best to jump right in the pool. I think we all know that crawling into a cold pool on a hot day can be painful... rip that bandaid off quickly! :lol:

It is true for me. I threw myself right into the middle of this thing and stayed there. I insinuated myself into service with different groups (shaking hand, washing dishes) until I chose a home group and got involved at the District level. I got a sponsor and worked the Steps. Any alcoholic can work this program no matter situation your life presents itself.

I asked questions. What are your questions? Are you done drinking, just for today?
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: New member needing help

Postby Lali » Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:23 am

Welcome, friend. You have come to the right place. I can see where meetings would be a bit confusing since you are still drinking but people do attend AA meetings before they have actually gotten sober. Maybe something you hear at a meeting will "sink in". Have the people you have met at meetings been supportive of you? Since you have attended a few meetings, I assume that your wife knows that you are having problems with your drinking? Is she supportive of you going to meetings? Do you have any questions about the program that we can answer for you?

And kudos on wanting to get sober for your family. Of course, you have to want it for yourself as well.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: New member needing help

Postby Jimmybar » Wed Apr 30, 2014 11:58 pm

Hi, thanks for the replies guys. Yes my wife knows I have a drinking problem but doesn't know the extent of it. There is a guy from AA I'm meeting tomorrow so hopefully he'll be able to point me in the right direction. I guess my main question would be what others have experienced when quitting drinking. I think I'm drinking too much to stop drinking cold turkey but I don't want to get medical help. I live in a small town and my dad is a doctor here and I would hate for word to get back to him. I was thinking of weaning off over a few days and stopping once I get down to a couple of drinks. I know that weaning almost always doesn't work but I feel like my options are really limited. Should I be expecting the dt's from around 20 standard units a day?

Thanks again for the replies.
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Re: New member needing help

Postby Lali » Thu May 01, 2014 9:22 pm

You asked so I will share my experience. I was actually able to wean myself off on two different occasions but I think thats only because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired & really wanted off of that poison but I knew it would be kinda rough going thru cold turkey detox. If you absolutely will not go to your doctor or to the emergency room b/cos of your father being a doctor, I would suggest you do this with someone (a good friend) with you. Some people have seizures and it can be dangerous. Is there a neighboring town perhaps where you could detox in a medical setting? twice I detoxed in e.r. They gave me IV fluids for a couple hours and sent me home with a 3 or 4 day supply of a mild tranquilizIer to help with the shakes, etc.

Drink lots of water. Stay hydrated.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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