alcohol ruined me

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alcohol ruined me

Postby bicycle » Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:42 am

hey everyone im new here and sober for about 3 years.the question i have is can we blame alcohol for all the mistakes? i am having real trouble thinking about stuff that im not even 100 per cent sure happened because of blackout drinking.just wondering if anybody has gone through this
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Re: alcohol ruined me

Postby JohnZ » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:15 pm

Yes! I was wracked with shame over things I knew I did, and might have done but don't remember.

Steps 4 through 7 go a long way to eradicating that shame. Do you have a sponsor? Are you working your way through the steps?
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Re: alcohol ruined me

Postby Hanna » Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:18 pm

Hi Bicycle,
I too did alot of things I wish I hadn't. I found that I have to "accept the things I cannot change". I have decided for me it best to just keep moving forward and create new memories, memories I can be comfortable with. In the begining I was overcome with guilt, remorse and regret, it was a horrible existence. I told my sponsor about my feelings and she said that while it's important not to forget where my alcoholism took me, I should probably just look not stare at all the mistakes. Keep moving forward and take care of what you can, focus on the future and learn from the past.
Keep sharing,
Hanna
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
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Re: alcohol ruined me

Postby kenyal » Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:25 pm

Flashes of scenes that I hope never actually happened and were only my imagination, so yes I do know what you mean.

I know no way of erasing those. I came to accept that they might not be real, a trick of a mind that was very sick back then.

You might want to mention what you see to another member you trust. And know that it will never become your reality if you do what it takes to not pick up another drink.
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Re: alcohol ruined me

Postby Layne » Tue Jun 25, 2013 9:29 am

Why spend time and worry about assigning blame for mistakes?

I can easily blame alcohol for a lot of things and doing so will undoubtedly make me feel better...at least temporarily. Sounds a lot like what I sought through alcohol, a feel good fix.

Accepting responsibility for my actions was not an easy feel good fix, but the results have been more long lasting. In the twisted corridors of my mind, alcohol may have made me do some less than stellar acts, but alcohol didn't make me pick up the bottle. That decision was mine.
Last edited by Layne on Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: alcohol ruined me

Postby bicycle » Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:15 am

thanks have just started aa meetings again and am going to stick with it this time.sometimes when the mind settles i realise that there is nobody not talking to me so things cant be that bad suppose its the mind after bout 20 years of madness
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Re: alcohol ruined me

Postby Brock » Tue Jun 25, 2013 12:41 pm

John Z asked the pertinent question :- "Are you working your way through the steps". On the bottom of page 83 in the Big Book, lies the answer to your question :- "We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace". Best of luck to you.

God bless all who contribute.
Brock.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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