My first post. 4 days sober.

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My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Bellingham guy » Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:21 am

Hi everyone. I'm glad I found this site, from what I've been reading it seems very helpful.
A little about me. I'm a 36 year old male. I'm ending my 4th day sober, its Tuesday night. I hit rock bottom last Friday night.
I usually only drink one night a week but I'm a binge drinker, I black out and have anger issues sometimes.
I haven't gone to an AA meeting yet. Ive been researching them, trying to find one thats right for me, but really I dont know whats right for me yet. I'm just scared to go. I fear change and this is the biggest change I'll ever make. I'm not into religion so all the God talk and meetings in churches kind of puts me off..
I'm filled with sooo many emotions right now; scared, sad, numb, mad, depressed, alone, etc.
I've got some support around me, girlfriend of 2 years that doesnt really like drinking and wants to help me, brother and his wife, my folks. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers so I'm trying to avoid them for now.. Everyone I've told so far keeps asking me daily, how are you? Sending me links for clinics, AA meetings, etc. Its starting to overwhelm and annoy me. Can I not just go 1 day without thinking about it?
Anyways. Thats me in a nutshell for tonight. Day 5 when I wake up.
Thanks
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby ann2 » Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:26 am

Welcome! so glad you found us and have shared, it's nice to get to know you! Congratulations on reaching out and on exploring the meetings near you. And don't worry about the God talk, most of us use the word "God" because we don't have another one to express this sense of connectedness we have found by following the 12 steps.

It's better than drinking :-)

Ann
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby becksdad » Wed Apr 24, 2013 5:11 am

Hi Bellingham, welcome! Glad you found us here. My name is Ed, and I am an alcoholic. I found this site a few months ago, and have found a whole lot here that adds to my sobriety. Lots of good people here, sharing lots of recovery. For me, meetings are important, too. I hope you get to some.

You know, I was pretty anti-religion, too. But don't let the fact that a lot of meetings are held in Church basements put you off. There's no religion here. Bottom line is... AA has a program that treats alcoholism, and it is the most successful in history. It is the only thing that has worked for me, and I tried a lot of other stuff first!

Keep coming back, friend. Hope to see and read more from you!

Ed
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Bellingham guy » Wed Apr 24, 2013 8:32 am

Thanks Ed. Good to know. I am going to force myself into a meeting at some point this week. Let you all know how it goes. Day 5.
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Mike O » Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:33 am

Bellingham guy wrote:Hi everyone. I'm glad I found this site, from what I've been reading it seems very helpful.
A little about me. I'm a 36 year old male. I'm ending my 4th day sober, its Tuesday night. I hit rock bottom last Friday night.
I usually only drink one night a week but I'm a binge drinker, I black out and have anger issues sometimes.
I haven't gone to an AA meeting yet. Ive been researching them, trying to find one thats right for me, but really I dont know whats right for me yet. I'm just scared to go. I fear change and this is the biggest change I'll ever make. I'm not into religion so all the God talk and meetings in churches kind of puts me off..
I'm filled with sooo many emotions right now; scared, sad, numb, mad, depressed, alone, etc.
I've got some support around me, girlfriend of 2 years that doesnt really like drinking and wants to help me, brother and his wife, my folks. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers so I'm trying to avoid them for now.. Everyone I've told so far keeps asking me daily, how are you? Sending me links for clinics, AA meetings, etc. Its starting to overwhelm and annoy me. Can I not just go 1 day without thinking about it?
Anyways. Thats me in a nutshell for tonight. Day 5 when I wake up.
Thanks

Hiya,

Welcome to the group.

Yeah, the whole thing can be overwhelming in the beginning.

Can I point you in the direction of the book "ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS" on which our organisation is based and in which the way out of your alcoholism is clearly described. You may as well start reading it while you're dealing with all the other bombardments. Just sit somewhere peacefully and read it. Here's a link to the free online version:

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

Over 5yrs ago, when I was in much the same position as yourself, I bought a copy and started reading - I haven't had a drink since, nor have I wanted one.

-Mike 8)
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Bellingham guy » Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:12 pm

Thanks Mike. I started reading the Big Book last night online when I found this site.
I have so much anger today over all of this. Hoping some exercise will help with that today..
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Hanna » Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:10 pm

Bellingham guy wrote:I'm filled with sooo many emotions right now; scared, sad, numb, mad, depressed, alone, etc.


That's how I felt when I arrived here, so I followed the suggestions, especially take it "one day at a time". One day was all I could handle and now those days have added up to 10 months. My life is getting better as a results of taking the steps and staying in touch with AA every day, here online, f2f meetings and reading the BB. I am amazed at how my life has changed by just "doing the "next right thing".
I hope you stick around, a more peaceful life is possible for you too.
Keep posting,
Hanna
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Kivis » Sat May 04, 2013 8:02 pm

Hi, this is my first post here.

I've been sober for a couple of months only and I started going to AA meetings a month before that. I share your concerns about the religious feeling and have done lots of reading to try to end up in a comfortable place with them. I have more work to do on this.

Also, there are quite a lot of trite sayings and rituals (opening and closing passages, chairs/shares, etc) and the rock solid adherence to "The Big Book" and it's not surprising that some people are put off.

I'm continuing to try to find an accommodation in myself that won't upset those around me (I'm not in AA to cause a disruption!) and is also compatible with my Atheist convictions.

BUT, I think I'm getting there. And I must say that I am really impressed with the people I have met and do not feel that anybody has tried to inflict their views of a "Higher Power" on me. It's up to me to find my own interpretation of a Higher Power and my personal definition will develop over time.

So, to summarise, you are far from alone in your anxiety about a religious feeling with AA. In practice though, I have not found this to be unmanageable. Please get along to a meeting to see for yourself. I couldn't possibly be sober right now without the help and experience of the people I have met through AA. Finally, and selfishly, get along to the meetings because I'd like to see more people that have no belief whatsoever in god!

If you come across a place where these topics are discussed please let me know. I haven't looked hard enough, but there must be somewhere.

All the best to you.


Mike
PS I don't yet know if it's possible to Direct Message people in this forum. If it is, feel free to contact me separately if you'd like.
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby ann2 » Sat May 04, 2013 11:19 pm

Welcome! So glad you shared! I am always thrilled when an atheist AA member joins our forums and explains how it works for him or her, because I have had many atheist sponsees. I don't insist they believe in God, but then they ask, "but how am I going to find the same sobriety as you?" I'm not passing on my sobriety, however, just the method I employed to find it, and I am convinced that anyone can use this method with success. For me, action is the key, not belief.

The private message (pm) function of our forum is how we communicate directly here, and it's also possible for the board to send an email on your behalf.

Hope to read you again soon, and thanks for being here :)

Ann
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Re: My first post. 4 days sober.

Postby Kivis » Sun May 05, 2013 5:05 am

ann2 wrote:Welcome! So glad you shared! I am always thrilled when an atheist AA member joins our forums and explains how it works for him or her, because I have had many atheist sponsees. I don't insist they believe in God, but then they ask, "but how am I going to find the same sobriety as you?" I'm not passing on my sobriety, however, just the method I employed to find it, and I am convinced that anyone can use this method with success. For me, action is the key, not belief.


Thanks for this, it's very helpful. I see you are in Sweden. My brother currently lives in Umeå and was in Arvidsjaur, it's a lovely country.

I'm determined that my battle is with alcohol, and not AA. But I do need to find a way of interpreting some of the traditions and attitudes that suit my own philosophy.

Have you considered a non-theist corner in the forum? It's nice to have somewhere to turn and discuss these aspects without offending believers, particularly when the AA experience is very new and somewhat overwhelming :-)

All the best

Mike
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