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Postby carlos b » Tue Feb 19, 2013 2:08 pm

Hello fellow alcoholics,

My name is Carlos and I am an alcoholic! I ran into this site by mistake and I'm so glad that I did! I have a 2 year old son and I don't have much time to do a meeting every night of the week, so I look for as many alternatives as possible (e.g. H&I, phone lines, online meetings).

A little about myself, I was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles, CA-- and still here[/i}! I got sober in my hometown, and I stayed sober. I was constantly in and out of jail because of my failure to test clean for my probation officer and, later, for my parole agent.

A couple of felonies, a dozen jobs, many lost friends, and a few broken hearts later, on June 19th, 2008, I was sitting in my counselor's office getting discharged for violating my Prop 36 case and I had a moment of clarity. It hit me that the game was up. That no matter how hard I tried to do it differently, no matter how long I stayed locked up or what I used, it was all one big vicious cycle. It would all, inevitably wind down to that very same moment. I was going to be locked up for a long time or die.

After I left his office, I went to a meeting, got a sponsor who had reached out to me, and started working with him. My first 30 days were with my girlfriend of 4 years/dope dealer in my mom's garage, running from the law. When he said jump, I asked how high and that's the attitude I've had for the past 5 years. Although, I could step up my game in taking direction. I find that the longer I stay sober, the less desperate I can become, and the more I need you guys! I know what's on the other side of the fence and I'd rather not go there. So where do I go when my alcoholism is taking me on an emotional roller coaster? It seems that more often than not, my only two choices are a gun in my mouth or a set of spiritual principles. I loved alcohol and drugs for that very reason-- it kept me from killing myself, until, like Bill W. said, it came back like a boomerang and shredded me to pieces.

I'm so grateful for this program and for the ability to grow through the growing pains of life-- some of which I should've gone through already at the age of 12! I watch my 2 year old be a 2 year old and I think, he's so cute figuring out the world in a self-centered point of view... [i]why am I still doing it

Anyways, sorry for ranting. I realize this is just the guestbook forum. I tend to ramble. I'm glad to have joined this site and hope to get to know some of you.

Warmest regards,
Carlos B.
carlos b
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Re: Hello

Postby PaigeB » Tue Feb 19, 2013 2:33 pm

Welcome Carlos! Glad you are here! I went in and edited your last name to your initial, cause this is the world wide web. Hope you don't mind!

I laughed when I here you found us by accident... not usually how people get to AA! But then I see that you are not entirely new to AA. Glad you found us! I sort of found this place when I was looking for the Daily Reflections on line. We have a great Forum on it where a few of us share our experience strength and hope after the "reading".

Again welcome! Have a look around the boards and keep coming back!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Hello

Postby Tommy-S » Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:18 pm

Hi Carlos,

Doesn't matter how or why we get where we need to be, just as long as we stick and stay. Glad you're here. :)

Thanks for the share... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!
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Re: Hello

Postby becksdad » Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:58 pm

Hi Carlos! Welcome.... glad you are here, whether by "accident" or not!! I hope to see and read more of you here, there is a wealth of good recovery here, and folks always willing and ready to share.

By the way, we share a common important date! June 19 is my sobriety date, too. Just 2 years later than yours!!LOL It was the day before Fathers Day in 2010, and I hadn't spoken to my daughter in about 3 years. It's not like that anymore!!! Thanks to all of you.....

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Re: Hello

Postby Mike O » Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:41 pm

Hi, Carlos.
Glad you're with us here.
-Mike :)
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