Noob Greetings

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Noob Greetings

Postby greeneidgirl » Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:52 pm

Hi everyone I am new to this board and am thinking about attending an AA meeting tomorrow in my area. So here's my background:

Since I was legally able to drink I have. I'm in my late 20s now and can count the days on both hands when I've been sober. Typing this out really, really embarrasses me as it's so harsh to type this about one's self as opposed to simply reading it about others.

My drinking started off like a person in their early 20s who parties pretty hard then stops and learns to drink "normally." (whatever that means). Most of the people I know would have maybe a beer or two on the weekends or a glass of wine on the holidays. For me it was a beer (or 5) every single night. Then I became involved in an abusive relationship while in college working a sh-t job. I began bringing those little airplane bottles of booze with me to my place of work (sad thing is in the business I was in nobody cared...everybody drank and it was encouraged). So I'd drink from 12-730 ish, then go to bed a couple hours later.

After I got out of that relationship and met the man of my dreams I thought for SURE my drinking would strop. Well, the EARLY afternoon drinking stopped but then later afternoon drinking started with wine (it's "just wine right...it's OK *ugh* ). Well the wine never seemed to do it so then came the vodka. I always had vodka in the freezer and would chase a light beer with a shot, and do this from about 5pm until I went to sleep.

This continued for a few years until the present when I have a job I'm TOTALLY happy with. I started to get anxiety and went back to "oh I'll just have a glass of wine on my lunch break." Then it was wine in the morning. Then it was wine in the morning, on my lunchbreak, and whenever the hell else I could fit it in. When I went home I'd have a beer, and went into the normal routine of beer/vodka until sleeping.

Three days ago, I woke up feeling like hell (per usual). The crazy thing is, throughout all of this I woke up every morning before work and jogged 4 miles 6-7 days a week. I ate healthy as well. In my mind this told me " I'm healthy."

With my job, I use my hands; I need a very, VERY steady hand for what I do. I was having to take a xanax prior to each client so I wouldn't have a shaky panic attack. Well, three days ago I quit cold turkey; I had horrible shakes and anxiety for the first day, but the second and third have been fine; but OMG do I want a DRINK. Every other thought is : get the mail. DRINK. eat dinner. DRINK. turn on the TV. DRINK. etc etc.

I looked up AA times for tomorrow and plan on going. I'm nervous about how things work. Do I have to introduce myself? Do I have to talk? Can we just listen for a while?

I apologize about the loooonnng introduction,but I had to get it off my chest, as this is my first step towards recovery (well second I guess). I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and I can't wait to learn from you and offer a shoulder to cry on if need be. Bless you all and best of luck!
greeneidgirl
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Re: Noob Greetings

Postby Todd M » Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:57 pm

hi GreenEidGirl... Welcome... I am Todd, I am an Alcoholic
pleasure to meet you

thank you for sharing with us. thats what helps me, and many others like me stay sober.
we share similar experences

Please Let us know how your first meeting goes... I sure it will be Awsome. :D :!:

as part of my recovery from Drinking
I learned about myself, and things that stress me out...
Things that seemed to drive me back to drinking...
how the Deadly First Drink starts up the miserable Cycle of more drinking.

I learned all this at AA meetings... there I found others who...
found a solution... and help each other cope with daily life stuff...
Without taking a drink... they seemed to understand what i was feeling...

for me, when it was time for me to find help, I tried an AA meeting in my Area
it was great... there were others just like me, searching for a solution.

I found info about the Disease...
and other folks willing to help me get sober, and stay sober.
There is Hope, Todd M
Keep it Simple

The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link:
http://www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Noob Greetings

Postby jakpar » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:33 am

welcme to eAA!
hopefully you have gone to a face to face AA meeting since you first wrote and now know how a meeting goes.
if not, get to a meeting as soon as possible, or sooner.
Jack

"We are of service by accepting responsibility for the authority God has given us and by respecting the authority God has given to others"
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Re: Noob Greetings

Postby Hanna » Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:22 am

greeneidgirl wrote: I began bringing those little airplane bottles of booze with me to my place of work


Welcome Greeneidirl, I am very familar with those little airplane bottles. They were easy to conceal and seemed to do the trick. I thought I was clever until I got fired for bringing alcohol to work. Lost a good job that I loved. I am now 12 days sober.
Stick around and don't be afraid to go to a meeting. You will meet people who are there for the same reason as you, they want to stop drinking. You don't have to say anything, but I would encourage you to let people there know you are new to this. They will welcome you with open arms.
I decided I needed help, I wake up each morning and pray before I get out of bed, I simply ask God to help me because I know I can't do this on my own. I tried and failed miserably. Each time the thought of drinking creeps into my mind I pray. It has worked so far, the anxiety has subsided and the obsession with alcohol has seemed to disappear.
I lost my license within a month of losing my job. I drank to ease my anxiety which only made the anxiety worse. This online discussion forum has been a blessing for me, since I can't get to meetings as a result of losing my license.
Keep posting, we are all here to help one another by sharing our experience and listening to those who are working the program.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
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