Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

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Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Tosh » Fri Jul 10, 2015 1:26 am

From time to time I'm forced to admit that I have failed at certain things; occasionally something will happen that serves as a timely reminder that I'm far from perfect.

For example, this morning I failed to fill up a giant bean bag that I'd purchased from Amazon (a new bed for my mutt).

What have you failed at recently?

2015-07-10_09-24_Massive fails.jpg
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Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Niagara » Fri Jul 10, 2015 1:49 am

Showed up at work the other day, didn't sleep too well the night before (heat, yuck)...so, i head into the bathroom to fill up my buckets ready for cleaning. I work in a care home, and this particular bath has a shower head attached to the taps....i forgot to flip the switch and got an early morning freezing cold shower, free of charge in my work uniform.

Woke me up, anyway. :lol:

I was making a chilli the other day, and I can be quite liberal with the paprika in chilli. So I was. And then I realized it wasn't paprika I'd been liberal with. It was hot chilli powder :roll:

I go to a big book study workshop with my sponsor and several other sponsees. I often bake for the group, if I have time. I spent all afternoon baking, then forgot to take it with me! The kids weren't complaining, though.

Niagara, the class Klutz :oops:
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby PaigeB » Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:17 pm

This morning, a bottle of children's glue was not producing glue. I opened it and found the glue to be ok, but the nozzle was gummed up. So I cleaned the nozzle and replaced the cap. Still nothing would come out. So I opened it again & got a plastic knife to fish out a bit of glue for the grand daughter and told her, "We are going to be real careful here..." So i dip in, get too much and find she is not ready with her picture (which she moves) and I dribble some glue on the table. I want to get back the bottle quickly, but I knock it over while trying to also grab some napkins with the free hand! Now I got 2 spills!

Needless to say, when I looked up the Grandy is staring in some disbelief at what careful looks like!

Luckily, it is kids glue and washes up well. :shock:
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Tommy-S » Fri Jul 10, 2015 4:35 pm

Good job, Tosh,

I switched from Night Shift to Days a few months back, and for the first couple weeks working Day Shift, I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking I was late for my shift...even started calling the shop to let them know I was on my way :)

Also, I've locked the car with the keys in the ignition twice in the past two weeks at work... Then didn't realize it until I walked the 1/4 mile to the piers. (I haven't locked the keys in the car in years)... :)

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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Duke » Fri Jul 10, 2015 4:57 pm

Finally got to this morning's meeting on time, only to be stopped by a train for fifteen minutes three blocks away. Showed up for the meeting this morning and realized I hadn't shaved. Missed a doctor's appointment Wednesday because I was napping. Broke the front door handle trying to make the wrong size set screw fit.

Worst of all, forgot to feed the dogs last night. (They reminded me about three am).

Trudging it is.
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby ann2 » Sat Jul 11, 2015 2:09 am

Thank you thank you thank you. I've done all of these and more. This morning, about to give bipolar trans son medication. Looked at the medicine holder and pills gone. Did he take them? Did I put them somewhere? Did I take them? Son clueless as well. We took a half dose for safety's sake.

More! More!

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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Tosh » Sat Jul 11, 2015 2:51 am

I've enjoyed reading your your humanness. :lol:

But this...

Duke wrote:Showed up for the meeting this morning and realized I hadn't shaved.


Ha ha. When I was younger I tried to join the RUC (Northern Irish police force). I'd been on the drink the previous night, overslept for my interview, so jumped in the shower, donned my suit and dashed out.

On the drive there I realised I'd forgotten to put my two front false teeth in (kicked out in a bar room brawl). I didn't have time to go back and get them.

And then, during the interview, the interviewing sergeant asked me, "So, tell me, what's your greatest achievement?"

That stumped me for a second and then I remembered I'd climbed Mont Blanc the previous year, so I told him about that, and then he asked me "So, was it the same ken that came down the mountain as the ken that went up it?"

This really confused me. I was in Ireland, but in Scotland they often use the word 'ken' as another way to say 'know' (e.g. Do you ken? = Do you know?), so I replied, "Sorry, I don't understand the question? What do you mean by 'ken'?"

And then I realised - 'Ken' is my real name. Aaaaaahhhhhhggggggg!!!!!!! He had my application form in front of him. But everyone (with the exception of my mother) calls me Tosh.

I didn't get the job. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Niagara » Sat Jul 11, 2015 6:22 am

When I was getting married, years ago, I decided to get my sister to fake tan me the day before because the dress had no shoulders etc. Took a while, and then I had to dash out to pick the kids up from school...so i threw on my bra, tshirt, jeans etc to run to school. I woke up the morning of my wedding to find that where the bra had sat, had overdeveloped the tan, so I had a bright orange 'reverse bikini tan' line. hmph.
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Tosh » Sat Jul 11, 2015 6:45 am

Niagara wrote: I woke up the morning of my wedding to find that where the bra had sat, had overdeveloped the tan, so I had a bright orange 'reverse bikini tan' line. hmph.


Any pics? :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Niagara » Sat Jul 11, 2015 7:20 am

We managed to disguise it (mostly) by a combination of exfoliating, bleaching with lemon juice and some heavy duty tattoo foundation. My ever so supportive sister was no help. She was too busy dying with laughter.....some maid of honour :lol: It was worse at the back and luckily I chose to wear a veil ;)
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Noels » Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:59 am

Tosh wrote:I've enjoyed reading your your humanness. :lol:

But this...

Duke wrote:Showed up for the meeting this morning and realized I hadn't shaved.


Ha ha. When I was younger I tried to join the RUC (Northern Irish police force). I'd been on the drink the previous night, overslept for my interview, so jumped in the shower, donned my suit and dashed out.

On the drive there I realised I'd forgotten to put my two front false teeth in (kicked out in a bar room brawl). I didn't have time to go back and get them.

And then, during the interview, the interviewing sergeant asked me, "So, tell me, what's your greatest achievement?"

That stumped me for a second and then I remembered I'd climbed Mont Blanc the previous year, so I told him about that, and then he asked me "So, was it the same ken that came down the mountain as the ken that went up it?"

This really confused me. I was in Ireland, but in Scotland they often use the word 'ken' as another way to say 'know' (e.g. Do you ken? = Do you know?), so I replied, "Sorry, I don't understand the question? What do you mean by 'ken'?"

And then I realised - 'Ken' is my real name. Aaaaaahhhhhhggggggg!!!!!!! He had my application form in front of him. But everyone (with the exception of my mother) calls me Tosh.

I didn't get the job. :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: you killin me :lol: I was laughing so much after reading this I couldn't take a phone call from a client! That's what happens when I'm on the AA site whilst supposed to be working! :lol: Thanks for a great laugh guys and gals.

I went for an entire year thinking I was 2 years older than my real age. Only towards the end of the year hubby heard me tell someone my age and corrected me. then I still argued with him about it! Just to do the calculations and admit he was right. :D

Mwah xxx Noels
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Barbara D. » Wed Jan 11, 2017 1:01 pm

I've been laughing out loud and feeling so much better about the aging process. I spend a noticeable amount of my time walking down the hallway to do something or get something, stand at the mid-point of the bedrooms for a minute or two because I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing. I head back to the kitchen or living room, remember, and start the trip all over again...and again. :oops:
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Tosh » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:48 am

Barbara D. wrote:I've been laughing out loud and feeling so much better about the aging process. I spend a noticeable amount of my time walking down the hallway to do something or get something, stand at the mid-point of the bedrooms for a minute or two because I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing. I head back to the kitchen or living room, remember, and start the trip all over again...and again. :oops:


I had a 'forgetful moment' too, at the weekend which turned out to be a nightmare.

I had a severe dose of the man-flu, and Mrs Tosh needed a lift to Monmouth for a hill race. I dutifully took her, feeling really unwell, and after the race I put her muddy kit in the boot (trunk) of the car and closed it.

Then I discovered I didn't have the car keys; I'd locked them in the boot and the car was all locked up.

So I got a lift from another runner who has Tourettes - who turned out to be an ex-heroin addict - and he had to drive me an hour home, so I could get the spare key for my house from the neighbor (thankfully they were in), so I could get the spare key for my car, and the guy with Tourettes drove me the hour back to Monmouth.

AND when I got out of his van, I thanked him profusely (he growled back at me, like an aggressive dog, but that's his Tourettes) and he drove off, only for me to realise that I'd left the spare key on his dashboard.

Can you imagine?

Luckily enough, he heard my shouting, screaming and saw me running towards him before he exited the car park. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Barbara D. » Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:54 am

Thanks again, Tosh! :lol: This is/was a great topic!!!
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Re: Massive Failures - We're Not A Glum Lot...

Postby Noels » Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:27 am

Excellent Tosh :lol: Please keep doing daft things and share it with us. A good laugh a day keeps the doctor away :D
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