Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the rooms

"... We absolutely insist on enjoying life" (p. 132, Alcoholics Anonymous). Here's the forum for fun and frivolity. Enjoy!

Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Lali » Sun Sep 29, 2013 4:12 pm

This is an old one, but a favorite of mine . . .

"If I weren't an alcoholic, I would drink all day".
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Squawking Hawk » Sun Sep 29, 2013 4:29 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Hawk

Lali wrote:This is an old one, but a favorite of mine . . .

"If I weren't an alcoholic, I would drink all day".
Ms. Hawk

I will never forget
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby hecramsey2 » Sun Sep 29, 2013 8:21 pm

I heard a newbie once saying "you know I was reading through that big BLUE book and that big BLUE book is full of great stuff what's it called that big BLUE book?". Lots of church giggles all around
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby FluffUSPS » Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:25 pm

My former grand sponsor brought this one back from Founders Day:

"I'm a defect looking for some character."


Also, seen on the T-shirt of one of the attendees of said gathering:

"I'm on a straight pepper diet."
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby maurits » Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:45 pm

although i heard this one a few years ago:


i was powerless over my over-seriousness that my life became unmanageable


in my case, still valid today ;-)
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby PaigeB » Thu Jul 09, 2015 12:03 am

"If your life is a shitstorm, close your mouth"

"My life is unmanageable and I am looking to share that with another alcoholic" (13th Step)
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby whipping post » Thu Jul 09, 2015 5:09 am

"Meeting makers make it."

** disclaimer: I have never actually heard this said in a meeting
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Lali » Thu Jul 09, 2015 5:56 am

Good posts here - very amusing.

But I wonder if this should be under the heading of "But We Aren't a Glum Lot" rather than "Discussion"? If not too much trouble for the mods.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Niagara » Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:32 am

'two sickies don't make a welly' - someone talking on the 13th step, and about relationships in early sobriety

heard at a meeting, when someone was trying to describe how alcohol isn't the problem, only a symptom - 'take the booze out of a fruitcake, you still got a fruitcake'.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Tosh » Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:25 am

"Telling a drunk woman to calm down is a little bit like baptising a cat!"

(Apologies for the sexist line; it's not mine!)
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Jul 19, 2015 12:28 pm

Tosh wrote:"Telling a drunk woman to calm down is a little bit like baptising a cat!"

(Apologies for the sexist line; it's not mine!)


LOL.... :lol: No offense taken, no apology necessary....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby ezdzit247 » Mon Jul 20, 2015 10:03 am

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Anytown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, and so on.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had left the church except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now, this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey! Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Tosh » Mon Jul 20, 2015 11:03 am

:lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Larryp713 » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:37 am

I have a couple good ones:

"I didn't have a drink on my first day of kindergarten, but I sure could have used one!"

"My name is Al, and I am a Larryholic!" - I felt so clever when I blurted this out.

"I have never woke up and wondered if I was a woman/black man/car, because I am not. But I have woke up many times wondering if I was an alcoholic."

"I should not stay in my head without adult supervision."

"This is not a program for people who want to stay sober. It is not a program for people who need to stay sober. It is a program for people who take action to achieve sobriety."

"How in depth does your fourth step need to be? That depends on how free you want to be."

"Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another."

"Never have I suffered because of AA. Never have I worked the program outlined and it made things worse."

"There are two types of people in AA - those who show me how to act, and those who show me how not to act."

I love AA! - Larry
Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny!!!
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Re: Interesting/funny quotes/sayings you have heard in the r

Postby Robert R » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:20 pm

Seven missed meetings makes one weak
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.
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