You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

"... We absolutely insist on enjoying life" (p. 132, Alcoholics Anonymous). Here's the forum for fun and frivolity. Enjoy!
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Texan
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Texan » Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:54 pm

Or you wake up one New Years day, go to brush the funk out off the roof of your mouth and tongue, look down at yourself in the mirror and find the your formerly very hairy chest only to see that your chest has been shaved slick as a newborn baby's bottom! If that isn't bad enough, when interrogating your roommate about who got crazy with the razor the night before, he points directly at you and claims that you did it yourself. What's actually worse is that you actually believe it for the several weeks of torture you go through while it all grows back, 'till your girlfriend spills the beans that she and your roommate both conspired against you and both had a hand in finding out exactly how good that new electric razor you got for Christmas really did work! :oops: :oops: :oops:
Keep on Keeping on, One Day at a Time.

becksdad
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by becksdad » Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:55 pm

You might be an alcoholic when in desperation you read the labels of listerine (regular ans store brand) in order to determine the relative proof of each product. What an education to learn that generic brands are not only stronger, but come in bigger bottles, too!

BTW, the minty freshness doesn't last long, but the horrific gastrointestinal effects do.

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Tosh
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Tosh » Sun Dec 23, 2012 1:57 am

becksdad wrote:You might be an alcoholic when in desperation you read the labels of listerine (regular ans store brand) in order to determine the relative proof of each product.
Good one.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by johnd » Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:37 am

You might be an alcoholic if you wake up in your car in the woods or on a beach front, while looking around you see french fries and roastbeef and sauce setting on your lap while the empty bottles are at your feet. oh did I mention you're on the passenger seat and there is no one else there. It happened more than once :o :roll: John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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Blue Moon
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Blue Moon » Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:04 am

You might be an alcoholic if you think this thread has no business being in the "For The Newcomer" forum.
Ian S
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Lali
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Lali » Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:50 am

I got this from someone else:

You want to call in sick but you can't remember if you already did. Now what do you do?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

Jaywalker Steve
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Jaywalker Steve » Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:07 am

Blue Moon wrote:You might be an alcoholic if you think this thread has no business being in the "For The Newcomer" forum.
Good call!
Every group has men and women who put too much thought and effort into their daily sobriety and not enough of themselves into their daily living. - Ed B., Akron, OH

JohnElkRiver
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by JohnElkRiver » Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:32 pm

Please explain the Map Of Africa one to me. I feel i'm missing something priceless.

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Marc L
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Marc L » Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:50 pm

JohnElkRiver wrote:Please explain the Map Of Africa one to me. I feel i'm missing something priceless.
Actually for me it was a map of Australia. :D

Got really drunk, passed out on the couch and peed my pants while sleeping.
Woke up the next day feeling awfull.
Don't think I'm alone on this one.

Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by JohnElkRiver » Sun Dec 23, 2012 3:47 pm

Ha! I get it. Thanks. I'm thankful that never happened to me.

Lali
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Lali » Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:27 am

You go to get in your car in the morning and ....it isn't there. You can't remember where you left it or how you got home.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

kenyal
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by kenyal » Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:04 pm

1. You are sure if you can only crawl to the car the most challenging part of getting home is over.

2. If the ignition switch moves itself from one side of the steering wheel to the other, playing games with you.

3. Your seatbelt is used primarily to keep you upright.

4. Talking to girls is normally hard, but under the right conditions you don't hesitate to run naked through all the stories of the women's dorm.

5. You take part in the streaking craze about 5 years after the streaking craze has ended.

6. Buying a chopper seems a cool idea, but it's a chopped Honda 350.

7. You wear a headband and leathers and a chain across your unbuttoned workshirt while riding your 350 chopper.

8. Girls you go steady with as a teen call up AA to ask questions about alcoholicsm.

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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Lali » Sat Dec 29, 2012 7:02 am

You swear that you are okay to drive, then you hit the mailbox while backing out.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

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Tosh
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Tosh » Sat Dec 29, 2012 7:35 am

Lali wrote:You swear that you are okay to drive, then you hit the mailbox while backing out.
:lol:

Did you?
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Marc L
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Re: You Might Be An Alcoholic If?

Post by Marc L » Sat Dec 29, 2012 5:37 pm

Lali wrote:You go to get in your car in the morning and ....it isn't there. You can't remember where you left it or how you got home.
Occasionally on 'The Day After' an evening of intense verbal exchanges my wife and her car were nowhere to be seen.

Marc
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

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