"... We absolutely insist on enjoying life" (p. 132, Alcoholics Anonymous). Here's the forum for fun and frivolity. Enjoy!
Post Reply
User avatar
Forums Long Timer
Posts: 560
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:24 pm
Location: Where Else? Texas!


Post by Texan » Thu Jun 28, 2012 9:43 pm

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.  In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.  During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing,  and he had been let go.  It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find anothrt position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.  Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. 
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth  over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, Iwould have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.
Keep on Keeping on, One Day at a Time.

User avatar
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 3743
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:43 am

Re: $20.00

Post by Tosh » Sat Jun 30, 2012 4:11 am

Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

User avatar
Marc L
Forums Old Timer
Posts: 1549
Joined: Sat May 03, 2008 8:04 pm
Location: South Florida. U.S.A.

Re: $20.00

Post by Marc L » Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:59 pm

Yeah, SaddleGals hell bent on screwing themselves with plastic are prone to do whacky stuff
while under the influence. Unbeknownst to her the Husband was wearing FullBodyArmour and was already well diversified in his investments.
So shortly after the incident the wife was swerved divorce papers and out of the kindness of his heart he sent her
one of these the following Christmas.

Last edited by jakpar on Tue Aug 07, 2012 1:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: inappropriate and offensive material
Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

User avatar
Forums Contributor
Posts: 444
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:58 pm
Location: West Virginia

Re: $20.00

Post by jakpar » Tue Aug 07, 2012 1:51 pm

didn't see that coming Texan!
excellent laugh maker
thank you!

"We are of service by accepting responsibility for the authority God has given us and by respecting the authority God has given to others"

Post Reply