December issue of Grapevine Magazine

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December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:36 pm

Saw this and felt very sad, it was a text in bold on page 16:

"Someone shared that he had a 12 pack in the truck. A man with 18 years shared about how he still wanted to drink"

This is the worst:

"For the first time in the fellowship, I did not feel alone".
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby PaigeB » Tue Nov 24, 2015 12:25 pm

A man with 18 years shared about how he still wanted to drink

I doubt he wanted to drink everyday for the last 18 years... we still go through stuff that makes us doubt... I am in a place like that, vacillating between serenity and pain.

Many people suffer in and out of these rooms. Life happens. If we are not maintaining out spiritual condition the thought of drinking can return. That is why I continue to attend meetings. Our default position can be to use alcohol as a solution. I am having a personal loss in my life. Grief is difficult. I am not practiced at handling it well. These feelings do not go away or even get less painful with sobriety and a good program. I am not dancing around singing Hallelujah & Jesus take the Wheel. I hurt. I doubt that you understand. I feel alone sometimes.

People look up to me in this community. That makes it hard to ask for help. Last night's meeting was about selfishness & self pity came up. Lots of laughs. I recognize my own self-pity in this issue of mine. Many women know about some of the facts. I felt rather alone and I felt pretty much the same after the meeting as I did before the meeting. I will call my sponsor about the details. There were 3 newcomers at the meeting. I wanted them to know that they were not alone any more, even though I felt alone, I know that is an illusion my alcoholism wants to use against me.

I just wanted you to know that it is hard to ask for help, and it is still our secrets that keep us sick - whether we have not yet done the 4th Step or we are well past Step 9. I am glad the man spoke up! Maybe now he will decide ask for help and to not take the drink. If we are not working the STEPS of this program, we might be sunk at anytime - 18 years or not.
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:53 pm

I am in a place like that, vacillating between serenity and pain.


If we are not addressing the pain, which is some form of non-acceptance, its going to come back. Going to meetings is going to give us temporary relief. Appreciate your honesty here, please find a person who will help you see the selfishness and self-centeredness and let go of that.

There is a chapter "Consciousness Way out of Pain" in the book "Power of Now" browse through it, see how the pain body operates in each of us. If we let the gaurd down they take us over and live through us. You can google it and find a free PDF of the book.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby PaigeB » Tue Nov 24, 2015 8:33 pm

please find a person who will help you see the selfishness and self-centeredness and let go of that.

Exactly. I am in the process of getting that done! Got some free time after Wednesday, so I even have a plan. :D
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Nov 25, 2015 5:35 am

Great.

Going back to "we still go through stuff that makes us doubt.".

Why do we have to be agnostic about this process when we have gone through stuff and come out clean?

Are we talking about a thought or an obsession? People freak-out in meetings for having a thought. A thought is just a thought. If we talking about being obsessed thats a whole different story. I heard a guy yesterday he can't even watch television, because the moment he sees a beer commercial, he starts romanticing with all the other stuff.

Whaqt is the first step in recovery?
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.


It all starts with a minor incident. The mind is a clever instruement, it will trick you into believing that you are fine, but its working in the background like a computer processor, suddently the dorment pain body awakens we are shut of from the sunlight of the spirit. We are going teach others who we are!
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby PaigeB » Wed Nov 25, 2015 1:24 pm

I concur! I think a fella that still falls into an obsession about drinking over a beer commercial might need to be doing a little more work on the program... something he has not already tried to this point or extra willingness in what he has tried so far.

But the relief for me began when I worked on this one thing as my 1st Step in recovery:
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

I have a disease. There is no more use fighting it than fighting acid reflux or the flu. I needed something to treat my disease. Now what do I want to DO? Well, AA was the last house on the block for me. And when I got there this time, I knew that I had to work the Steps which I have never really tried before. They say you have to work Step 1 to perfection and so I did. I smashed the idea that I was like other people into a million pieces. I was an alcoholic in need of a solution to my drinking problem.

I am also an alcoholic whose default position "A drink will fix it!" can still surprize me in many ways. Sometimes it is just a passing thought. Sometimes it borders on an obsession. Either way, my work on the Steps and sticking close to this program did not fail me starting back in August of 2009 and will not fail me today. It truly does work, IF I am willing to WORK it. That is my experience.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Nov 25, 2015 6:31 pm

The new comers are looking up to the old-timers. Yesterday when a old-timer said he thought about a drink while at a cooking gig (where there was lot of alcohol in the house). The chairperson relatively new was aghast. She is looking forward to a life where she doesn't want to live with the obsession all the time. We had to later explain that there is a difference between a thought and an obsession. We talked about the 10th step promise.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby PaigeB » Thu Nov 26, 2015 1:11 am

This is a scary disease. No fault on the part of the speaker, I am certain the Higher Powers led him to say what he said and led you to clear up the definitions.

In talking with my sponsor today I received some of her experience. She helped me define some situations with a "new set of glasses" so to speak. We ceased fighting anyone or anything ~ even alcohol.

I am so grateful for this program where the newcomers and the old timers are all a part of How It Works when we work it.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Nov 27, 2015 9:20 am

This is a scary disease.


I need to reach a point where I had to make that key decision, whether I am going to accept the few simple tools or keep blaming on this disease.

Then I commit to this path. Like the 10th step caveat states, its a daily reprieve, so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

So what are the suggestions that the book has to offer for fit spiritual conditions:

We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle.

We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

Now to the clear cut directions on how to run our life minute by minute:

we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past (making amends). We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.


At the end of the inventory process the authors say, its just a begining and see the word "continue" repeated so many times while conducting oursleves once we complete the inventory process. Using these principles we make amends. This was idea I got out of listening to Mark H. We immediately jump into this way of living, we don't wait for completing the amends.

So much of power in working the 12 steps. But nah... just don't drink and go to meetings. Look at the holiday suggests floating around. See for youself where they snuck the 12 steps? And that too see the wordings around that:

“Having had a . . .” No need to spell out the Twelfth Step here, since you already know it.

Its so insane. Since you already know it! How do you expect the new comer to know?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby PaigeB » Fri Nov 27, 2015 1:28 pm

"I need to reach a point where I had to make that key decision, whether I am going to accept the few simple tools or keep blaming on this disease."

Well, I would not quit going to the doctor if I had any other disease. I am talking about doing all three... go to meetings, get & keep a sponsor, and absolutely work all the 12 Steps.

If I was a newcomer, do I really need to know what the 12th Step is by heart? Do I expect that because they worked the 12 Steps there is no more to learn? No way! But let us not forget that some folks do work just Step 1 & Step 12. Those people, by their actions & emotions, will not likely have what I want and therefore would not ask them (or keep them) as a sponsor. But they DO belong in my meetings, one day at a time, and I hope they find the path to freedom from slavery to drink.

Also, I do not expect that any newcomer read, understand or receive the 9th Step Promises or the 10th Step Promises - where we are placed in a position of neutrality... We are only as insulated from alcohol as our spiritual condition allows.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: December issue of Grapevine Magazine

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Nov 27, 2015 7:34 pm

If I was a newcomer, do I really need to know what the 12th Step is by heart?


Its not about they knowing the 12th step by heart. I am talking about how flawed it is for us not emphasizng the working the "whole 12 steps". That should be first on the list. .

On the promises, of course they are not going to understand what we are doing. We are go educate them. If they have to experience those promises, we have to work for them. And work for them doesn't mean "just dont drink and go to meetings", its finding a good sponsor who can help them realize the powerlessness and un-manageability so they understand that they need the power to stay sober.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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