Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

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Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby Todd M » Thu Sep 10, 2015 6:16 am

Just published!

FORMING
TRUE PARTNERSHIPS
How AA Members Use the Program
To Improve Relationships

When we were drinking, many of us had, as the Step Four chapter in the AA book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions puts it, “a total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.”

Forming True Partnerships is a collection of Grapevine stories that show the many ways members use the Twelve Steps, sponsorship, and the tools of the program to improve and repair relationships, old and new.

With candid and colorful stories on families, friendships, marriage, divorce, dating, romance, coworkers, sponsorship and pets, Forming True Partnerships covers a wide range of experience from sober alcoholics on how we form true partnerships with others.

For yourself, or someone you know, each page in this book, offers an inspiring passage of experience, strength and hope to bring into your life. To order your book for only $10.99 www.aagrapevine.org
There is Hope, Todd M
Keep it Simple

The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link:
http://www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby PaigeB » Wed Oct 21, 2015 10:04 am

Ohhh this looks good!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby No.3 » Tue Dec 01, 2015 9:17 pm

Has anyone read this book? I picked up a copy for my group, I brought it home tonight to examine.

A sponsee wants to date, to know if he's ready; there's only one chapter (30 pages) on dating & romance. Is there another well recommended AA or sobriety-themed book on romantic relationships or YP exclusively?
"The Group demands total loyalty to the inner group. Some have had to leave the movement because of the Groups' demands which conflict with truth or duty." The Oxford Groups by Herbert H. Henson, 1933, pages 73-74.
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 8:48 am

Oh my God, grant me the serenity....
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby whipping post » Wed Dec 02, 2015 9:29 am

avaneesh912 wrote:Oh my God, grant me the serenity....


...to accept the things I cannot change...
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby PaigeB » Wed Dec 02, 2015 1:10 pm

The courage to...
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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I've been told there's none. Too controversial!

Postby No.3 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 1:29 pm

An AA dating & romance manual: that would be a best seller! There must be a reason it never appeared... I mean, Forming True Partnerships talks about cats.

Down South, I often heard "No Sex in the first year." I don't know if that extremism still prevails in some parts; it was always a line out of a fundie's mouth. I have to add, never heard someone with some college education utter that statement. Unsurprisingly, Charlie endorsed that opinion (in a backhanded sort of way, "joking," followed by a long heterosexist rant) - so much for p.69: "We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct."

I guess it's a dicey subject, the risk of mentioning premarital sex and all. In 2015.
"The Group demands total loyalty to the inner group. Some have had to leave the movement because of the Groups' demands which conflict with truth or duty." The Oxford Groups by Herbert H. Henson, 1933, pages 73-74.
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby Brock » Wed Dec 02, 2015 1:41 pm

...change the things I can
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby PaigeB » Wed Dec 02, 2015 1:44 pm

Brock wrote:...change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: I've been told there's none. Too controversial!

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 5:47 pm

No.3 wrote:An AA dating & romance manual: that would be a best seller! There must be a reason it never appeared... I mean, Forming True Partnerships talks about cats.

Down South, I often heard "No Sex in the first year." I don't know if that extremism still prevails in some parts; it was always a line out of a fundie's mouth. I have to add, never heard someone with some college education utter that statement. Unsurprisingly, Charlie endorsed that opinion (in a backhanded sort of way, "joking," followed by a long heterosexist rant) - so much for p.69: "We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct."

I guess it's a dicey subject, the risk of mentioning premarital sex and all. In 2015.



I never understood that admonition to newcomers about "no sex in the first year" but when I heard it, it was always married sponsors telling that to unmarried sponsees. Never seemed like very realistic advice to give newly sober kids whose libidos just started working again too.

Two books on relationships I've always recommended to newcomers is "The Art of Selfishness" and "Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am". Both are older but classics and excellent reads.
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Re: dry drunk control freak sponsors

Postby No.3 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 8:29 pm

ezdzit247 wrote:I never understood that admonition to newcomers about "no sex in the first year" but when I heard it, it was always married sponsors telling that to unmarried sponsees. Never seemed like very realistic advice to give newly sober kids whose libidos just started working again too.

Two books on relationships I've always recommended to newcomers is "The Art of Selfishness" and "Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am". Both are older but classics and excellent reads.


Indeed, ezdzit247: it's the age-old I-got-mine! ticket, or someone who might be jealous of youth. Who in AA tells a 19yr old "You can't have sex!" (despite what the BB says)... someone who probably hasn't yet had that spiritual awakening, that's who.

I met w/ the sponsee again, and we reviewed his recent mini-4th (Ebby T format), lots of honesty/transparency issues remain, then talked about dating apps. Now that he's sponsoring and has his own ESH (with something I don't), he can give other young men valuable firsthand insight on that spiritual sobriety block known as Tinder/Grindr* :wink:

Thank you so much for those recommends! I will track down these titles, much appreciated :D

*Edit: I'm surprised neither of those apps has EVER been mentioned on this site before. Okcupid or plentyoffish? Wow, guess not. Maybe that's somehow related to crickets on the YPAA branch?
"The Group demands total loyalty to the inner group. Some have had to leave the movement because of the Groups' demands which conflict with truth or duty." The Oxford Groups by Herbert H. Henson, 1933, pages 73-74.
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Re: dry drunk control freak sponsors

Postby Tosh » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:49 am

No.3 wrote:Who in AA tells a 19yr old "You can't have sex!" (despite what the BB says)...


That's what I tell my 19 year old step daughter, who is away at university. We sent her off with condoms (well her Mum did), so we're not 'Victorian parents'.

But she'll go and do what she needs to do regardless, just like a 19 year old sponsee would! :lol:

The last time I was asked by a sponsee if he was ready for a relationship, I suggested he pray and meditate on it. The following week he told me the answer he found was 'No', but within a month he was dating a heroin user and a few weeks after that he was drinking.

I can't think of any relationships that my local A.A. members have formed in early sobriety that've turned out well.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby BPG » Thu Dec 03, 2015 6:20 am

avaneesh912 wrote:Oh my God, grant me the serenity....
whipping post wrote:...to accept the things I cannot change...
PaigeB wrote:The cou
Brock wrote:...change the things I can
PaigeB wrote:
Brock wrote:...change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.


Why the Serenity Prayer in the context of this thread? I'm not getting it...
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby Layne » Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:42 am

Pure conjecture, but I would imagine it started out of a member's exasperation with another member's post and so their reply
Oh my God, grant me the serenity....
was an attempt at genteel tact in expressing their exasperation.

Other members, weary of the discordant nature of the site lately, became enheartened by the perceived turn to the light and expressed encouragement, probably in hopes that maybe a corner has been turned by this community.

That explanation works for me at any rate and that is what I am going with.
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Re: Grapevine New Book FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Dec 03, 2015 8:58 am

Tragedy of the Ego.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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