20 and feeling hopeless

For the younger AA generation, some experience, strength and hope.

20 and feeling hopeless

Postby Pingu123 » Fri May 16, 2014 5:24 pm

I am a 20 year old alcoholic.
I was diagnosed as being alcohol dependant just before my 18th birthday.
A couple of months after my 18th birthday I got into a very abusive relationship and drank to cope with that and when I got out of that relationship I drank because....well I guess part of it was habit by then. I eventually met someone else and I stopped drinking with thier help and lasted about four months being sober but then we broke up and I didn't deal with it well, I was back to square one. That was just after my 19th birthday.
A couple of months after I decided to stop drinking for me and went to alcohol counselling, I have stopped a fair few times since but always relapse and don't seem to last much past my pay day.
Feeling kind of hopeless right now and just want to kick it for good
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Re: 20 and feeling hopeless

Postby Layne » Fri May 16, 2014 6:42 pm

At first it sounds bad, but actually feeling exactly like that is what got me here in the first place and for that I am eternally grateful because I wouldn't trade my sober life today for anything. That incomprehensible demoralization was truly a gift as it got me started on my path in recovery. Glad you are here! Welcome.
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Re: 20 and feeling hopeless

Postby ann2 » Fri May 16, 2014 10:04 pm

Hi , good to read you. Congrats on having the desire not to drink. The reason I went to AA was because I wanted to stop, but couldn't. At first I thought that meant I was too far gone even for AA . . . Until someone informed me that I had an illness, alcoholism, that would keep me drinking, and that the help I needed was in AA.

I starte going to meetings and right away got hope. I was 26 at the time, and at my first meeting a woman was talking about her being 26 when she first went to AA for help. She got that help and was at that meeting celebrating her first year sober.

I wanted what she had, and it seemed achievable, if I followed her example. She explained that she went to AA meetings, often, that she joined a group, got a sponsor, and studied the Big Book.

I got my own BB at my new home group which I joined because it was close I my home and active, and that's where I found my sponsor. You can read the Big Book online here www.aa.org/bigbookonline till you get your own copy, and here's a link to the virtual literature table here at e-AA for other helpful literature:

www.e-aa.org/about_aa.php

Hope to keep reading you.

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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