Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

For the younger AA generation, some experience, strength and hope.

Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby peace » Fri Nov 01, 2013 8:17 pm

TonyWARMS wrote:Hello, peace, and get out of my head! :lol:
That sounds exactly like me when I first started this journey.
I figured everyone was judging my every move, comparing my situation to theirs, and I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop so I could let them have it.
I had to find humility (I didn't know that at the time), but that feeling of constant anger made me miserable (I didn't know that was the problem).
Once I let that feeling start to drift away, and realize the problem was (is) me, I am now much easier on myself, and others.
Those feelings sometimes still pop up in my head, but now, I realize where it's coming from, and say to myself " What can I do to make this situation better?"
I am not all happy, happy all the time, but I don't take it out on others' because I know if left to own devices I can make any situation so much worse.
I don't like slogans, and sayings so much, but " Let go, and let God" works for me ( not in the religious sense, I don't enough time, or bandwidth to get into that).
But, maybe you can find something to remind yourself of where that feeling is coming from when it arises, and knock it back down to where it came from.

Peace, Tony



Let go and let god is the one I've used too to pull me back when my mind starts racing or I'm getting pissed. I usually get pissed thinking about what someone said or did or did not do earlier and then I tend to fuel my anger and start fantasizing about how I'm going to let the guy have it in the future. My anger and drinking is a very bad combo that's gotten me into trouble in the past
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Astrid » Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:34 am

Hey Peace

I really relate to the anger. I got hit a lot as a kid by a rage-aholic father and I cannot even articulate the rage I have sometimes against people. I don't want to turn into my father so I hope the steps, a relationship with a power greater than myself, and the fellowship of AA can help me to become a different person.
"The difficulty lies in our own imagination. It takes time to overcome the restrictions that we place on our own ideas." - John Tabak PhD 'History of Mathematics'
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Lali » Fri May 02, 2014 10:08 pm

You seem to know what you need to do. Those things will bring you relief. If I may ask, have you started the steps?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Astrid » Mon May 05, 2014 10:51 am

I think I've done the fourth and fifth step like five times now, I've worked the steps over and over and over again but I've never done step nine and I've not been given very structured help around it and I don't know if that's why today I completely relate to why people would commit suicide in sobriety versus when they're drunk. And I am overwhelmed with rage and hatred today.
"The difficulty lies in our own imagination. It takes time to overcome the restrictions that we place on our own ideas." - John Tabak PhD 'History of Mathematics'
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby ann2 » Mon May 05, 2014 1:10 pm

Astrid, can you get to a meeting? Put yourself in a healing environment.

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Astrid » Mon May 05, 2014 6:55 pm

I went to a mtg, I'm just scared for tomorrow.
"The difficulty lies in our own imagination. It takes time to overcome the restrictions that we place on our own ideas." - John Tabak PhD 'History of Mathematics'
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Lali » Mon May 05, 2014 7:50 pm

Keep going to meetings as Ann said. And when you aren't in a meeting call women in the program. Ask your sponsor or if you dont have one ask other women for guidance on Step 9 cos I would advise you to get started on amends. I think that process would be healing for you, not easy perhaps, but healing. Are you saying that you stopped at Step 8?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Blue Moon » Mon May 05, 2014 10:46 pm

Steps 4 & 5 are looking at the problem. 6 thru 11 are about the solution. What are you waiting for?

Many get hung up on 9. We don't make amends for things done to us, our amends are what we did. It's about owning what we're responsible for, and no longer having to feel responsible for others' behaviour.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Astrid » Tue May 06, 2014 2:35 am

I'm waiting for some direction around the amends, I'm confused on how to make them and what to do. I have never lit a building on fire, made love to a donkey, threw a punch at a random stranger, my amends are - how do I make amends to my grandmother who is dead and who I was unkind to when she was alive.
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