Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

For the younger AA generation, some experience, strength and hope.

Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby peace » Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:21 pm

I can't stand the way I feel! Would have gone back out by now but then I'd be drunk and miserable instead now I'm just sober and miserable and I still want to give this a chance because It's not like I have anything to lose anyways. I know I'm powerless and my life is unmanageable - it's just this restless irritable, discontent feeling is unbearable. It's like half the time I interact with someone whether its in AA or out they say something to piss me off and then it bothers the hell out of me. I can't even mix with people even though I want to. I'm all alone otherwise. I'm going to be picky about which meetings I go to because a lot of them make me feel like I want to shoot myself after - old ladies talking about their kitty cats and how they cook there stuffing, and I'm sitting here thinking jeezus lady I'm friggin' dying here! I wish I was one of the normal people.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Layne » Sun Oct 27, 2013 11:37 pm

You sound normal to me. A normal alcoholic.

Moods are choices. I can be exactly as miserable as I allow myself to be. With time and hard work, I have learned to no longer allow myself to be miserable for very long.

Be gentle and patient with yourself though, it has only been two weeks.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 6:57 am

it's just this restless irritable, discontent feeling is unbearable.


And this is the spiritual malady that we need to overcome. Its not about the booze anymore. We will have more success rate in the fellowship today if we talk about this. The twelve steps helps us overcome this. At the beginning of 'working of the 4th step' the book talks about this:

When we overcome the spiritual malady (restlessness, irritability and discontented feeling) we straighten out Mentally (obsession) and physically (of-course the phenomenon of craving).

The book also insist for a permanent solution we ought to find out the causes, namely selfishness and self-centeredness within us.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby PaigeB » Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:22 am

When everything else seems to fail, intense work with another alcoholic never will.

That is a rough quote from the literature... And I know it seems counter to reason, but I have tried it myself and tried it on my sponsees and it works! Just veer away from the lady talking about cats and find someone to shake hands with or go wash coffee cups. Or better yet, walk up TO the lady talking about cats and tell her you are glad she is there, glad she is sober today and ask her how she did it. We are all equals in this program - leveled by a dis-ease that does not care a bit with you are a cat lady or a veterinarian.

If the meeting consistently discusses things other than the solution to alcoholism, than you can use your feet and go shake hands at a lot of different meetings.

avaneesh said: The book also insist for a permanent solution we ought to find out the causes, namely selfishness and self-centeredness within us.


DRIVEN by 100 forms of FEAR, delusion and self seeking... (another rough quote) so... what are you scared of?

:mrgreen:
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:36 am

When everything else seems to fail, intense work with another alcoholic never will.

Peace is two weeks sober. I am sure once he works the steps and has a spiritual awakening he will be working with others intensely 8)
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby PaigeB » Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:34 am

Shaking hands can be pretty intense... And if anyone has less than 2 weeks or is struggling, Peace can tell you how they stayed sober today! I know that when I first came in, I could not imagine having 2 weeks...
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby peace » Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:31 pm

PaigeB wrote:Shaking hands can be pretty intense... And if anyone has less than 2 weeks or is struggling, Peace can tell you how they stayed sober today! I know that when I first came in, I could not imagine having 2 weeks...


Ya Shaking hands is intense. lol. I can barely talk to people sometimes because I get so nervous and self-conscious. I hope this program helps me with this stuff so I don't have to see a shrink or anything. Sometimes I think I may be one of those "with grave emotional and mental disorders" I get a lot of anxiety talking to people I don't know well. I try not to show it on the outside - so people don't see how much fear I have inside me. I've shared some of this stuff with my sponsor though.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby PaigeB » Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:31 am

We ALL experience fear... "100 forms of fear" the book says on page 62. Trust me, you will be helping the newcomers AND the old timers by standing with your fear, shaking hands and saying, "Hi, glad you are here."

We can't think our way into a new way of acting, we have to act our way into a new way of thinking.

Tomorrow night, at 8pm Central time, I will be shaking hands or hugging everyone on the way into the meeting and after. I will be thinking of you and I will not feel so alone.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby TonyWARMS » Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:27 am

Hi, peace
What do you see in these people that you don't like in yourself?
That is a question I never used to ask myself, because everyone else was just an asshole not worth thinking about.
I sit in meetings, and catch myself thinking "Why doesn't this person just shut up, and get to the point?
And, in fact, this is there way of dealing with their problems, and if I can be of some help (whatever that might be), that is why I am there.
I know what that feeling you are going through feels like, because I sometimes feel it myself, but, not nearly as much as I used to (which was constantly).
It has been stated here that it's something we have to keep fighting through until we get to the point that it isn't a struggle anymore.
I am impatient as well, but I know that with time, what's bothering me right now is usually pointless, and petty, and not worth getting pissed off about.
And, one last thing "no pain, no gain". It might suck now, but in the long run, it is so worth it.

Peace, Tony
"Nothing comes to stay. Everything comes to pass".
(I don't know where I heard this)
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Lali » Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:21 am

Seems you have social anxiety. I used to suffer from that until I completed the stepwork and began to live the stepwork. A big thing that helped me was SERVICE. It makes you feel a part of. Make coffee, pass out books, chair a meeting when you have the amout of time to do so, set up tables and chairs, help clean the kitchen after the meeting. Usually more than one person cleans up so you will be a part of a team. They really appreciate the help.

When people start talking about non-AA stuff, I rasie my hand and say, "To get back to the meeting/topic, I'd like to share..."
or maybe for someone new like you, raise your hand and address the chairperson and say, "I've gotten confused about the topic of the meeting".
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby peace » Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:26 pm

Lali wrote:Seems you have social anxiety. I used to suffer from that until I completed the stepwork and began to live the stepwork. A big thing that helped me was SERVICE. It makes you feel a part of. Make coffee, pass out books, chair a meeting when you have the amout of time to do so, set up tables and chairs, help clean the kitchen after the meeting. Usually more than one person cleans up so you will be a part of a team. They really appreciate the help.

When people start talking about non-AA stuff, I rasie my hand and say, "To get back to the meeting/topic, I'd like to share..."
or maybe for someone new like you, raise your hand and address the chairperson and say, "I've gotten confused about the topic of the meeting".


Yes It's social anxiety. I feel like its related to alcoholism because I drank to overcome these feelings in social situations. Is this common among alcoholics? I'm glad the program helped you with this because this is the part of being sober that's really killing me. I want the program to fix this without outside help. I wasn't always like this - always a little shy - but not this bad. Also how long was it before you saw an improvement? I've been forcing mysely to sometimes say hi and smile at people - so that's something atleast
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Lali » Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:56 pm

When I started doing service in the meetings. Gotta go, I'll post more later.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby Lali » Tue Oct 29, 2013 3:25 pm

Yes, it was service work that made me feel "a part of" and got me out of myself. I started out with making coffee about 2 months into my program (and then later I added other service work) My social anxiety went away about 3 months into the program.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby peace » Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:54 am

Lali wrote:Yes, it was service work that made me feel "a part of" and got me out of myself. I started out with making coffee about 2 months into my program (and then later I added other service work) My social anxiety went away about 3 months into the program.


Thanks. I've started a little bit of service work. I think all this coffee I'm drinking is making my anxiety worse lol. I notice other new people don't have as much anxiety as I do and are able to be much more social. I'm always worried that I might offend someone or someone might offend me and I'll be all down and depressed after. I also have a lot of anger in me also and on occasion I'll violently snap when I feel like I'm being attacked. I guess some people just come in more F'd up then others.
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Re: Been sober for two goddamn weeks and.......

Postby TonyWARMS » Fri Nov 01, 2013 7:27 am

Hello, peace, and get out of my head! :lol:
That sounds exactly like me when I first started this journey.
I figured everyone was judging my every move, comparing my situation to theirs, and I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop so I could let them have it.
I had to find humility (I didn't know that at the time), but that feeling of constant anger made me miserable (I didn't know that was the problem).
Once I let that feeling start to drift away, and realize the problem was (is) me, I am now much easier on myself, and others.
Those feelings sometimes still pop up in my head, but now, I realize where it's coming from, and say to myself " What can I do to make this situation better?"
I am not all happy, happy all the time, but I don't take it out on others' because I know if left to own devices I can make any situation so much worse.
I don't like slogans, and sayings so much, but " Let go, and let God" works for me ( not in the religious sense, I don't enough time, or bandwidth to get into that).
But, maybe you can find something to remind yourself of where that feeling is coming from when it arises, and knock it back down to where it came from.

Peace, Tony
"Nothing comes to stay. Everything comes to pass".
(I don't know where I heard this)
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