Some alcoholics still have families when they get to AA. This is a place to ask questions and share experiences about relating to family members sober, especially when newly sober. (If you are not an alcoholic, please use the "Our Friends and Families" forum.)


Postby D-man » Tue Nov 21, 2017 12:37 pm

Now that I am sober I want to spend sober time with my wife. I also want to go to AA meetings. My wife is supportive of my involvement in AA, but she hates being left home alone. I am gone so much with work as it is. Does anyone one have any advice?
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Re: Balance

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:18 pm

If she is willing she may go to Alan-on meetings. Or she can always join you in OPEN meetings. She doesnt have to share.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Balance

Postby positrac » Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:01 pm

Not sure of your profession, and I am merely making a suggestion of lunch time meetings as they are an hour and this will help keep your clarity and yet make time for your bride. I know at times you need more AA time and an hour here and there should be easy and not totally putting issues on your relationship. Another thought is making meetings early in the morning as to not interfere with middle of the day meetings. I am sure other possibilities exist as you live in an area with many meetings.
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Re: Balance

Postby PaigeB » Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:33 pm

Many AA meeting have Alanon at the same time and place, so you can go together. OR she can get out of the house on the nights you stay home.

Where there is a will, or willingness, there is a way!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Balance

Postby tomsteve » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:49 am

how many meetings/week are you going to?
not sure how long youve been sober or how far into the steps, but theres a little part of the BB that seems to get missed by many:

None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our SPARE time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe.
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Re: Balance

Postby Blue Moon » Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:30 am

What would she do if you needed kidney dialysis or something a few times a week? Maybe she could take up a new hobby or something. Yoga, the gym, church events, whatever.

(Of course, then your problem may be that she's suddenly having fun while you're "working" for sobriety. But that wouldn't be her fault, and shouldn't be her problem ).
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