New country in year 1

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Zaq
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New country in year 1

Post by Zaq » Thu Jun 20, 2019 4:28 pm

I moved country recently 9’months sober and moved to Boston US. I know everyone says don’t make change in first year but it’s my job and I didn’t have choice. I go to random meetings, trying new ones and I’m totally depressed. People give numbers but hardly anyone has time to grab a coffee. I don’t know anyone in the city let alone the whole country.

I am sad and miserable. My old sponsor is 13 hours time difference, I try to speak to her but she told me to get local sponsor.

I am now going to like a meeting per week. I don’t know what to do. I message some folks Everyday but it’s feeling to be not enough. I haven’t had real human interacting in weeks. Just hello, hi with folks before / after meetings.

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Chelle
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by Chelle » Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:10 pm

Hi Zaq,
Welcome to e aa and America! Congrats on 9 months, that is great. Im sorry you are having a hard transisition. Have you tried a lot of different meetings? Im in the mid west and have found most people are very friendly and want to help.

Keep putting yourself out there, and be honest with your struggles about making connections when you share in an AA meeting. Perhaps you could share out loud that you are looking for a sponsor. Come early and stay late.

Dont suffer in silence in face to face meetings. You are not alone.

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Brock
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by Brock » Thu Jun 20, 2019 7:25 pm

It does sound like a good idea to perhaps say in a meeting that you are looking for a local sponsor, also I don’t live in the US myself, but have heard folks both here at e-AA, and Americans visiting meetings where I live in the West Indies, speak about Alano clubs. You might Google that and look into any clubs which might be in your area, I understand it’s a place where meetings are held and also AA’s hang out socially. E-AA also has e-mail meetings if you are interested, they can be found here - http://e-aa.org/talk.php

Our forums are a bit quiet lately, but keep us in mind and post about anything you wish, it’s nice to have you here.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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PaigeB
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by PaigeB » Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:16 am

Boston! How nice! Ok, I haven't been there. LOL but I googled Boston AA because I love history, I'll tell ya in Boston, MA 1940 - Paddy K. founded A.A. Boston. Sadly, Paddy had a slip and died drunk, but not before helping a lot of others find life. Slips happen - death happens. My first sponsee died in a roll over car crash before she got started on her 4th Step. I'm guessing she did not completely make a decision in Step 3 though.

Anyway... YOU never have to drink again. Get to a meeting. Get a sponsor that has the kind of sobriety you want. WORK THE STEPS. The Steps are the way to long term sobriety. Then it won't matter WHERE you are you will be able to help yourself AND help others.

I went to a lot of meetings at a lot of different locations and a lot of different times. That way - when the crap hits the fan later (and it will) you will know what days and time the meetings are! Go in and act like ya own the place. Stick your hand out and welcome those folks!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Spirit Flower
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by Spirit Flower » Fri Jun 21, 2019 10:47 am

This isn't what you want to hear, but early on, I was told, "you have to be a friend to make a friend." So, I'd suggest getting involved in service work. Guaranteed friends for life.
...a score card reading zero...

maurits
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by maurits » Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:21 pm

Keep putting yourself out there, and be honest with your struggles about making connections when you share in an AA meeting.
indeed same here
sometimes just being out there has helped me
to feel less disconnected

also allowing myself time to be out there regularly created opportunities to attract nice people

maurits
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by maurits » Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:38 pm

Zaq wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 4:28 pm
I am now going to like a meeting per week. I don’t know what to do. I message some folks Everyday but it’s feeling to be not enough.
Chelle wrote:
Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:10 pm
Dont suffer in silence in face to face meetings. You are not alone.
yes i can relate
sometimes it feels like that
whatever I do, just not enough

In those moments when I don't know what to do,
I usually go to an AA meeting

A meeting a day keeps the devil away

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avaneesh912
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by avaneesh912 » Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:39 am

Welcome to the forum. Yes, we live in a world where people simply dont seem to find time. So much riding on our back. If you get closer you could find some social events especially in summer.

Also, my sincere suggestion will be for you to get plugged into some youtube/podcasts that deal with sobriety. There are great workshops on the big book. You could have a deeper understanding of the workings of the steps when you hear from various individuals.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

innermost
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by innermost » Sat Jun 29, 2019 2:19 pm

Welcome Zaq

Another aspect you may want to also look at, is that you will have to grieve
the loss of your friends and that closeness you were use to.

It is okay to grieve and feel that loss.

As you grieve your loss of your friends remember this can color your perspective on life.

Look for someone who needs a friend in a meeting. Look for ways you can help out others
no matter how small it may be.

And always remember to be grateful and thankful and talk with your Higher Power about all matters big or small.
The first 164 pg. is the program!

Amelia742
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by Amelia742 » Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:23 am

Hi,
I hope you are doing well.I don't know how long your are going to stay in this city but no matter how long you have to socialize with people and there are many ways to do that. I suggest you do extra activity which involve meeting people like Going to cultural events. It's usually affordable and sometimes even FREE. Concerts in the park, art exhibits, and plays are just the beginning. And you'll automatically have things to talk about with the people in attendance.You can also join local, real-life "meetups" with people who share your interests.
Wish you all the best!

Dafont Showbox Adam4adam
Last edited by Amelia742 on Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Brock
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Re: New country in year 1

Post by Brock » Mon Aug 05, 2019 1:50 pm

Welcome to e-AA Amelia, that’s solid advise you offer there. It reminds me of when I first stopped drinking, and someone asked if I would like to go to a play, I thought to myself, ‘crap do I look like the kind of guy who goes to plays,?’ thinking that’s just for nerds and so on. Anyhow, to be polite I went and it was great, next thing I was joining the library, and doing other things that my thinking had kept me away from in the past, sobriety can alter our thinking of what’s good entertainment.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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