Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

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Peter_P
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Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Peter_P » Wed Feb 06, 2019 5:32 am

Has anyone ever encountered this at AA. Being forced to sit at attention with your back up straight your feet on the floor and you cant lean back. If you do everyone starts to fake cough or comment how someone is going to drink unless they keep doing what they are being told to do. I have been sitting through meetings for four months like this now and it is torture and I am hating AA. The only reason I continue doing this is because I don't want to drink. Has anyone ever seen anyone else do this or go through anything even remotely like this. I need help before I drink again or kill myself. Im 9 months sober now. =sad

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by ODAAT » Wed Feb 06, 2019 6:22 am

Welcome to the forum, PeterP.
I've never seen anyone being forced to sit in the manner you describe.

I have seen veteran AA members make "Do this or you will drink!" comments to newcomers. Sometimes it can be OK. Other times they can overdo things.

Have you tried another meeting?

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Brock
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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Brock » Wed Feb 06, 2019 7:10 am

Welcome here Peter.

One of the things I believe forums like this are most useful for, is asking questions about the instructions given by sponsors, and we have seen some ‘doozies.’ This is the first time I remember hearing, that an entire group has been brainwashed into thinking they need to sit in some sort of yoga meditative position, and I would bet it’s one person with an overwhelming Hitler like personality, that has been able to convince the others that their way is the right way. Congratulations for seeing that this is a load of crap, while others in the group seem to be sheep willing to accept it.

I am one of those who gets a little passionate about stuff like this, you see I was in and out of AA over about thirty years, and nearly lost my life as a result, because I really didn’t like meetings. And some people were saying things like twenty years sober and yet still coming to meetings, it was either meetings for life, or else death it seemed to me, and I was close to choosing death. Then one fellow hearing me complain about the boring meetings, asked if I had done the steps, and he was one who I saw at a meeting just about once a week, he showed me the way out. First he pointed to this in the big book -
We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
It says the problem has been removed and does not exist for us once we keep in fit spiritual condition, nowhere does it say keeping in fit spiritual condition is done by warming a seat in an AA meeting, far less sitting like some guru the whole time. I have come to accept and respect that certain people find spirituality in meetings, and have even come to quite enjoy going to about two per week myself. But I strongly believe that modern day AA is suffering from an illusion, that we have some sort of support group that keeps us sober. The steps remove the problem, living in accordance with #’s 10, 11 & 12 keep it removed and build on the promises of happiness and serenity, nowhere does it say that meetings keep us sober.

As usual I rambled on a bit, please believe that the answer to the promise of happy joyous and free lies in those steps, much more than with any group of people. Many of us found you- tube AA speakers enjoyable and useful, like talks by Chris R. and many others, and the big book workshops. It’s good to have you here and sorry if I sounded like a soap box speaker, hearing nonsense like no leaning back and feet on the floor makes me mad like hell.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Peter_P
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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Peter_P » Wed Feb 06, 2019 10:08 am

Thank You, its not an entire group that sits like this only me. The entire group sits in comfort, but if I relax they all start to fake cough or start in with the rhetoric I mentioned. At first I thought I must be crazy, now I'm convinced its not a coincidence. Truly Bizzarre

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by ODAAT » Wed Feb 06, 2019 11:33 am

Have you tried another meeting?

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by PaigeB » Wed Feb 06, 2019 12:02 pm

Definitely get to another meeting. Not all are the same. The idea of sitting up and paying attention is a good "practice" that you can use on days when you are tired or crabby - but I think that we have all tried to get sober by the ridicule of others and we KNOW that does not work.

I go to AA to be in contact with my HP who is unconditional Love. Stand up straight and use your feet now.
Just a suggestion... :wink:
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65

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Brock
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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Brock » Wed Feb 06, 2019 12:13 pm

I am pleased the whole group doesn't have to sit like this. But still, the fact that they do this fake cough or make comments when you sit like a normal human being, means that they must have agreed that this is a good way in which to treat a newer person, and it is ridiculous.

The writers went to great length to use words like ‘we suggest,’ and ‘it is suggested,’ over and over in the literature, the big book, which is considered our bible by many, says clearly -”Our book is meant to be suggestive only.” But yet a group thinks they can tell someone how he must sit, and make comments about someone drinking unless they do as they are told. It is bad enough to have an overly aggressive sponsor, who thinks you must do just as he says or end up drinking, to have a room full of them is unheard of.

I hope you find another meeting.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Peter_P
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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Peter_P » Wed Feb 06, 2019 1:57 pm

Thank You, Yes I have tried other meetings and thank God it doesn't happen at my Home Group, only it seems mostly at meetings of old timers.

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by ODAAT » Wed Feb 06, 2019 2:52 pm

Good, that you have meetings without that problem.

Sometimes some old timers are too enthusiastic about behaviors or notions they value. Maybe that's the case here. This is where a concept like Live And Let Live can be very helpful.

OTOH, you could consider some effort to call them out on the issue.

Accept or change....

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by tomsteve » Thu Feb 07, 2019 5:39 am

Peter_P wrote:Thank You, its not an entire group that sits like this only me. The entire group sits in comfort, but if I relax they all start to fake cough or start in with the rhetoric I mentioned. At first I thought I must be crazy, now I'm convinced its not a coincidence. Truly Bizzarre
invite me to the meeting! id LOVE to kick back with my hands behind my head, eyes closed, and listening to whats being shared. ill even bring some cough drops and kleenex for those suffering from cold and flu symptoms. =biggrin


makes me wonder what they do if a quadrapalegic showed up.

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Soberguy27 » Thu Mar 28, 2019 6:59 am

This does not surprise me at all. In my area there are some groups that although they are listed in the meeting guides are really just an offshoot groups who are very militant. One group who's name I won't mention you are required to attend meetings with a shirt and a tie, you are not to speak at group level unless you have more than 3 years. No facial hair is allowed and you must work all the steps with the group. They even have their only chips they give out. What is interesting to me is that they announce their meeting at regular aa meetings and actively recruit new members at meetings. A friend of mine was telling me about this one group he attends and told me it was a men's group, then another member of his group came to him and said something to him and my friend dropped and did 20 push ups as a penitly for saying it was a men's group.
So apparently there are some wacky groups out there. The thing is unless you live in an area that is rural most cities have several meetings to choos from. Just go to a different meeting.
In my 29 years I have seen many different type groups and they are all different.
Being an atheist it took me a real long time to really feel a part of a lot of the groups and meetings I attended. Luckily for me I have a great sponsor who always reminds me to listen for the similarities and not the differences.

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by ODAAT » Thu Mar 28, 2019 8:04 am

There are indeed fringe groups in AA.

They are best avoided...

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Theo50 » Thu Mar 28, 2019 5:15 pm

Since AA meetings are run by alcoholics, and alcoholics, like the BB states, want to run the whole show, it doesn't surprise me when an alcoholic wants to take charge and run a meeting the way they want.
Thankfully, there are a lot of meetings to choose from in my area.

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Re: Being forced to sit at attention GOD help me !

Post by Soberguy27 » Fri Sep 27, 2019 10:43 pm

Definitely find another meeting. My sponsor used to tell me that reason we are all here is because we're not all there. There are some wack jobs in aa and some even have their own groups. Remember, aa is not necessarily the bedrock of mental health. That said their are many many very good meetings. I would ask around and see if anyone could take you to one. I have been to some pretty weird meetings and it's just a matter of finding the ones that are right for you. I would never put up with nonsense like that. I went to one meeting that was run by a member with very long time sobriety and he has several guys he sponsors. At his meeting, his sponcee have to wear a shirt and tie and can not have any facial hair. That to me is rediculous. So find the meetings that fit you best and good luck.

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