you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

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you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby marco_34la@yahoo.com » Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:09 pm

i struggled with alcohol and drugs for years even after i stopped. i went to AA meetings everyday and felt better while i was there but it didn't last and i always had the feeling that something was inherently wrong with me and doubted myself that i could move on with my life. things changed for me when i met someone at starbucks coffee who overheard me and some friends talking about our problems, offered us some advice that was actually useful and made sense and made me think a little differently. i saw the guy again and appraoched him and it turned out he was a lifecoach. he gave me a huge discount on a couple months session and i feel great and freer and less stuck. If anyone is struggling or feels hopeless it's BS!!!!! there's so much stuff that i learned about myself my brain my body my thoughts and how to take charge of them instead of the other way around. this guy taught me things and gave me homework and held me accountable and it's helped turns things around. it is a miracle? NO WAY! you have to do the work but the pay off and way out of the tunnel is much faster!! i highly recommend!! i think most of these coached do skype and phone sessions too so it doesn't matter where u live there's always a way to get some extra help!!
i'm happy to chat more with anyone about my experiences with alcohol, drugs, my coach, recovery, aa, etc...
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:16 pm

Welcome here Marco, I am pleased that you found the answer to the irritable and discontented feeling people come to AA with, and now feel comfortable.

The thing is I and maybe a couple million others now feel very comfortable, and happier than we ever felt before in life. We found it in AA, and no we didn’t need to suffer, unless of course we decide to just come to meetings, then yes we will suffer. But just like you we had to do the work, usually involving homework as well, and when you say - “but the pay off and way out of the tunnel is much faster!!” I am afraid you can’t be the judge of that. Anyone really wanting the AA program can do the steps in a short time, sure some slow poke sponsors screw it up by slowing the process down to a crawl, but generally speaking, anyone taking more than a month or two to find complete relief is taking too long.

Then we are encouraged to increase our happiness and contentment with further study, it just keeps getting better, and we don’t need meetings for that anymore. Sorry you didn’t find the answer in AA, but we did.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby marco_34la@yahoo.com » Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:35 pm

Hi brock, i wasn't suggesting that anyone stop going to AA. i was sharing my experience about what other things helped me in addition to AA and could help others too.we all want to get better and every resource should be made known to achieve that.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:49 pm

Marc, welcome to the forums. Just curious, did you work the 12 steps using a sponsor?
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby marco_34la@yahoo.com » Sat Sep 15, 2018 3:02 pm

yes i did and having a sponsor is amazing and something i am 1000000% for.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby marco_34la@yahoo.com » Sat Sep 15, 2018 4:14 pm

i am also seeing that i posted this in 'newcomer' section. perhaps it would have been better in a section where people just feel stuck or something
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 15, 2018 5:06 pm

I am pleased that you did do the steps of AA, I apologize for jumping to the conclusion that you didn’t.

We don’t have a section where people express being stuck, most users who have questions about their progress will probably use this section, so it’s probably where it should be.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Frihed89 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:47 pm

Hi Marco, there are in fact lots of way to become sober. AA isn't unique in that respect. Maybe there are some that work better for some people than others. I have a Ph.D in one of the behavioral sciences, but it didn't help me to stop drinking, or to stay sober, or lead a happy and productive and personally satisfying life. AA did. What the degree did help me was to understand that the AA program is based firmly on philosophical pragmatism, and that's why it works. We learn how to achieve sobriety through our experiences with sober people, first, and then through our own experiences, later. For most of us who have recovered (and remain abstinent), the God part of the program teaches us to have the kind of faith that leads us to try to actually live the life we hoped for, and our experiences of success, backed up by that faith, propel us to act even more bravely to get free of the awful consequences of alcoholism, and it is this continuing faith that continues to propel us toward sober behavior. We all needed something other than our own self-destructive beliefs to hang onto to change our lives.

A belief in a higher power doesn't make us sober, it gives us faith that we can become sober, if we act/behave in a sober way. The 12 steps are guidelines for getting us there. In my case, the end was worth the means.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby marco_34la@yahoo.com » Sun Sep 16, 2018 1:52 pm

addiction problems can be had by anyone, whether you have a degree in psychology, medicine, etc... doesn't matter.
a psychologist doesn't treat himself, nor does a doctor. when people are dealing with their own problems they have a scotoma or blind spot
and need the help of others. with all that said, i'm feeling attacked on this message board for my experience and what helped me and might be useful for someone else to hear if they are struggling. everyone - even someone with a Phd in behavioral science - can benefit from insight that's different from his own. AA helped me tremendously, the support i received was life-saving and comforting and my sponsor is and was a great guy and good friend. as someone else pointed out, some of us take longer to go through the steps than others. we get stuck, we're afraid and in my case, i felt like i was going to be the ONE guy that couldn't ever get better. my post is for people who are struggling and could get some help to get them on a faster track. this worked for me and is my unique experience and again, i feel like i'm defending myself here instead of being thanked for trying to help someone out. by diminishing my experience because it differs than yours , is hurtful and causes me pain, and perhaps pain to someone help who thinks there is no hope - so shame on you. you're treating AA as a cult instead of resource and support system for recovery. this is the last time i will reply to any comments that put down my experience simply to exalt the benefits of AA. we all know the benefits of AA that's why we're here on this forum. if anyone has a genuine heart-felt interest in my experience and feels stuck and wants to hear my story of getting over a long long long slump and then being able to turn things around, please feel free to message me.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Blue Moon » Sun Sep 16, 2018 6:12 pm

marco_34la@Spammer wrote:we all know the benefits of AA that's why we're here on this forum.


"We" don't, and that's why these forums exist. This is an AA forum. Many approach here with questions about what AA is, or how to work a particular part of it. It helps to offer them a reasonably-undiluted message of AA-centric recovery from alcoholism. This isn't a generic forum about alcoholism for which AA is just 1 facet, it's a forum sponsored by an AA Group which grants some latitude to discuss other matters in the "if it doesn't fit anywhere else" category. AA has no monopoly on alcoholic recovery, but e-AA Group does have a monopoly on what is offered here.

So if you're offended, maybe you can look at it from others' perspective: these forums have been helping alcoholics to recover for almost 20 years before you turned up unannounced to promote something else. I'm not offended by your actions, but I can understand how some others almost certainly would be. Yet you have the audacity to get offended? I suggest you have rethink. I also suggest to the moderators that this thread be moved to somewhere more appropriate.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Brock » Sun Sep 16, 2018 8:12 pm

This thread has taken an unfortunate turn, I was the person who approved it and also elected to let it remain in the forum to which it was submitted.

The fact that the original poster, (who without doubt only wishes to help others), is now getting upset when some give their own experience of the AA steps being all they ever needed, (which is probably the experience of the vast majority of those who have used the AA program for recovery), has led to the suggestion that the topic be moved to another location.

We at e-AA tend to give a fair hearing, to those who have suggestions on helpful options outside of those contained within the program, but with the recent developments, the suggestion that it might be moved holds merit, it has therefore been moved here, under ‘If it doesn't fit anywhere else.’

Please keep in mind that this is an AA group, and we discuss the AA program.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Sep 17, 2018 3:27 am

What Marco discusses can also be found in a book called "Recovery 2.0".

At the end of the Big Book text it says, "We know only a little..." Happy sobriety does depend on personal but most of all spiritual growth. Some of us read more spiritual books and others hire life coaches. However your inner guidance leads you is right for you.

It just so happens that I don't really mention my outside spiritual activities unless I can directly overlap them with spiritual principles in the program. I've been sober and growing for over 3 decades. Of course I access more spiritual materials. Yes, I had a coach last year who helped me tremendously; but she wasn't an AA coach.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Sep 17, 2018 5:25 am

What did the gentlemen part with that was so profound for you? Maybe if you share that, people will appreciate that. To be honest, I feel like you are baiting people without telling what it is that made a difference. There are lot of people in AA who don't understand what powerlessness and un-manageability is, perhaps you were guided by a person belonging to that category. Just saying. Lot of mis-guided slogans. Time to call the sponsor is prior to taking that drink rather than after. As though the alcoholic who has not worked the steps has a choice in his drink.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby Blue Moon » Mon Sep 17, 2018 6:25 am

There are a couple of things that I feel we don't talk about enough in AA. One is diet, as many walk in with poor habits in this area, yet vitamins and other nutrients are essential despite being neglected. The other is the endorsement of using outside resources for outside issues.

Diet is something I feel we should talk about more with newcomers, particularly sugars to help with cravings, and the intake of Vitamin B.

But outside issues are really an outside issue, so perhaps our challenge is not allowing them to become an inside issue by claiming that AA, sponsors etc. are the solution for anything other than the unhealthy obsession with alcohol. Yet, curiously, a lot of my own perceived issues magically overcame themselves just by my stopping drinking and following a few simple rules. So what's perhaps needed is to recover from alcoholism, and then go work on whatever difficulty remains.
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Re: you don't need to SUFFER! you can feel better faster!

Postby PaigeB » Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:04 am

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.
Twelve Steps - Step Ten - (pp. 88-95)

I get to choose my reactions today. If I am hurt it is because I am reacting. I don't like to let others rule my actions and emotions. I need to check myself and see what defect of character of mine is awakened by the actions of others. Then turn my thoughts to someone I CAN help.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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