Into action

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Into action

Postby positrac » Mon Jan 29, 2018 4:48 am

I’ve been in a real funk of sorts lately and I contribute it to my inner spirit. I am trying not to go on and on like a drunk on a stool in the bar; however I am not able to actually cut to the chase on this one. I know me and I have never been satisfied and that sounds crappy although this meaning could be dependent interpretation. Strike one!
I’ve been sick this last week and honestly my give a damn has been broken and still kind of hit and miss! I really want out of my job I have and I am aggressively looking and applying and eventually something will give as it always does. I can retire today and I really want out and yet I need medical for my wife as I have the VA and so that is a real no go for running away. Stike two:
I started a major dust up last week with some folks across the country over expectations and I was not nice and it was taken as I wrote it and now my flat azz is in the frying pan sizzling like bacon! Back in the day people used to help one another and be part of communities------ This was a way we all kind of got by and we had a few who hustled and scammed along the way and people eventually became so cold that a person could pass out and or have some medical condition and they were S.O.L.! I got short with others because deadlines on my end became an issue I wasn’t originally part of. Don’t make verbal deals you can’t honor because it becomes he said- she said and leads to nothing productive. Strike 3:
Good part is if I think-think-think and put positive points first, pray and go back to basics I’ll pass through this period. The point of this is that we all go through periods of times in sobriety and the big book mentions this: It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. ( Into Action, p.85) Many know I never quote like this and so I am feeling some burn! I had gotten comfortable and let my guard down and then at my weakest moment nasty stuff pounced and I was snagged. I have no desire to drink because today I am wise enough to know the answers to my problems are not in a bottle or drugs and so this part is the most manageable, and my character defects are the ones that need work.
Thanks for not falling asleep and for the new comer we are flesh and blood and so we all pretty much tick the same and the answers are within if we work it.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.
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Re: Into action

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Jan 29, 2018 5:06 am

I am glad you are looking inside yourself. Maybe pause for a couple of days and revisit the inventory part. Look at some of the areas where you are playing the director role. Different people have different capacity to handle un-manageability. An inmate was making good progress but unfortunately something happened last week, he revolted to go on detail (its a work camp) and he was shipped to another facility. I thought, jeez, this is exactly why the old-timers insisted that we get to the bottom of the steps quickly. Poor dude was making good progress last couple of weeks. Don't know if he would get another opportunity else where. Maybe he carried the big book with him. I also want to quit the job I am doing very badly, but same deal, I want to be self-supporting thru my own contribution. I apply the options Eckhart throws out. Absorb the current situation without pain/negativity. Do it with full involvement. Step aside and take an inventory, shed those that are really on top and work your way through.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Into action

Postby Blue Moon » Mon Jan 29, 2018 5:52 am

If you're sick, you're sick. Is it the sort of sickness that is expected to pass (eg the flu)? If so, wait to get better and energy restored, then re-evaluate. Things always look worse when I'm feeling unable to deal with them ASAP.
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Re: Into action

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Jan 29, 2018 11:24 am

For a variety of reasons, 2nd half of 2016 and 1st half of 2017, my emotions, particularly anger, were out of control. I did work the steps again on newer situations. I may have been justified in my anger, but it was still me that was angry. So I had to do something.

I've also found that as I am real close to retirement, I have less tolerance for work BS. I think everyone gets like this.
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: Into action

Postby PaigeB » Mon Jan 29, 2018 1:44 pm

You have gotten some good replies already, My Friend!
Good part is if I think-think-think and put positive points first, pray and go back to basics I’ll pass through this period. The point of this is that we all go through periods of times in sobriety and the big book mentions this: It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. ( Into Action, p.85) Many know I never quote like this and so I am feeling some burn! I had gotten comfortable and let my guard down and then at my weakest moment nasty stuff pounced and I was snagged.

AND I see you have identified some of the grosser handicaps recently at play here! Good work. You are already on the other side of this low point when your eyes become open again.
Twelve Steps - Step Eleven - (pp. 96-105)
https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step11.pdf
We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us.

So Back to Basics My Friend. No shame in that. You're experience will likely save the life of another alcoholic!
THE TREASURE OF THE PAST
Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have—the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124
Jan 28 Daily Reflection

((AA hugs))
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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