If you don’t know ask?

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If you don’t know ask?

Postby Boats3 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:46 am

Hello my name is David and I am an alcoholic. My sponsor made it very clear to do as little thinking as possible in certain aspects of life while in recovery. His solution was to ask another alcoholic and it still works 11 months later. I’ve been asking one specific question for about a month and I know I’m not alone someone else has to have experienced this before. Here is my question has anyone been through mediation for employment discrimination due to a perceived disability? Any advice from experience would be greatly appreciated. I have legal representation, however my lawyer has never been in my current situation personally.
Last edited by Boats3 on Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Db1105 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:27 pm

Your best bet is to talk to an attorney for legal questions.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Boats3 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:44 pm

I’ve got legal representation. I’m seeking an alcoholics perspective from experience, my apologies I should have been more specific.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Brock » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:59 pm

Welcome to e-AA David.

I have no experience with this either, it is an interesting question, but I believe your lawyer not having been in that position makes little difference. His job should be to find out from looking up other cases what the precedent is here, I am assuming we are saying alcoholism is a disability in this case.

By the way you may notice your post was moved to a section headed ‘If it doesn't fit anywhere else,’ we use this for subjects related to alcoholism but not directed to recovery.

Perhaps someone will be along with a better answer, I wish you the best of luck in this.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby PaigeB » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:57 pm

What type of disability? Alcoholism? I don't see that as a disability.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Boats3 » Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:18 pm

Thank y’all so much for the prompt feedback! My lawyer told me like it was, everyone’s experience is different, and he have never been in my shoes. Alcoholism isn’t the problem (for once). Six months ago my employer of seven years placed me on an unpaid leave of absence, still have health insurance for that I’m grateful. I’m a combat veteran with PTSD this was known and documented when I was hired. What I’m hoping to find is someone with a similar experience.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby PaigeB » Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:41 pm

I would definitely check with Vets groups and not alcoholics.

Good Luck.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby positrac » Tue Jan 16, 2018 4:09 am

Boats3 wrote: I’m a combat veteran with PTSD this was known and documented when I was hired. What I’m hoping to find is someone with a similar experience.



You need to reach out to the local VA on PTSD and I am sure that you must be getting some compensation for this and so go to the experts. We are just drunks and something's are way outside our wheel house and lawyers will have you do all of the dirty work for 600 bucks an hour and still play stupid sticker on the forehead. If you are on unpaid leave then more is to be revealed because employers just can't make decisions based on some gut feeling and or hearsay from another employee.

Be well and best of success on this.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Tosh » Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:31 pm

Boats3 wrote: My sponsor made it very clear to do as little thinking as possible in certain aspects of life while in recovery.


If my sponsor said that to me, I'd end up over-thinking all the possible reasons why he actually said it to me.

I'm nearly 9 years sober and I still can't control what I think. I'm not even sure how that works.

Don't think about pink elephants.

I bet you've just thought about pink elephants. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Blue Moon » Sun Jan 28, 2018 4:25 pm

Boats3 wrote: My sponsor made it very clear to do as little thinking as possible in certain aspects of life while in recovery. His solution was to ask another alcoholic and it still works 11 months later. I’ve been asking one specific question for about a month

I guess it doesn't work so well after all.

You were given a brain to use. I suggest to start using it, not be contingent upon a group who have scant experience or knowledge with the problem.

Our expertise is alcoholism. Yet even there, you'll find a mix of opinions between those who worked Steps, do service etc... and those who don't.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Greywolf » Mon Jun 25, 2018 6:00 pm

Boats3 wrote: My sponsor made it very clear to do as little thinking as possible in certain aspects of life while in recovery. His solution was to ask another alcoholic and it still works 11 months later. I’ve been asking one specific question for about a month

I wasn't there but it sounds like your sponsor gave you this advice when you first got sober or soon after he became your sponsor. I'd suggest you consider going back to him and refreshing your memory as to what he said and what he meant by what he said. My sponsor strongly recommended I not make any life altering decisions when I was new. He may have even said for a year.

What I did when I transitioned was think the situation thru and then tell my sponsor what I found and what I thought. After I started making decisions consistent with my sponsors conclusions, I weaned myself off so to speak and began to make decisions without his input. I still make some poor decisions but don't we all.

My sponsor was my go to guy regarding AA and a few other areas but I had no problem going somewhere else for more expert advice on some subjects.

Like Blue said you got a brain. Now rehabilitate that thing and start using your head for something besides a hat rack. =biggrin

Blue Moon wrote:Our expertise is alcoholism. Yet even there, you'll find a mix of opinions between those who worked Steps, do service etc... and those who don't.


Well Blue, you might find a difference of opinion among some who worked Steps, do service etc... Then again maybe not. I have taken the Steps, use 10, 11 & 12 to maintain my spiritual condition. I don't do service work but do work with others, although not as much as when I was younger both inn age and sobriety.

Where we differ is I rely on my experience and the experience of other long term sober alcoholics and some of you guys rely on a 3 year sober alcoholic. I'll be honest here, I don't use alcoholics who have only been sober for 3 years for anything to do with my sobriety.
I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Blue Moon » Wed Jul 11, 2018 8:12 pm

Greywolf wrote: I'll be honest here, I don't use alcoholics who have only been sober for 3 years for anything to do with my sobriety.


Then I feel sorry for you. Some of the most miserable SOBs I have ever had the misfortune of encountering in AA claimed double-digit sobriety.

I stick with the winners, and am wholly unimpressed by how many meetings in a week anyone goes to, how many sponsees they have, or how much time they claim.

Do newer members have so many of the answers and experiences in life that an old-timer has? No. But without them, those old-timers would be gone.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Greywolf » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:38 am

Blue Moon wrote:
Greywolf wrote: I'll be honest here, I don't use alcoholics who have only been sober for 3 years for anything to do with my sobriety.

Then I feel sorry for you. Some of the most miserable SOBs I have ever had the misfortune of encountering in AA claimed double-digit sobriety.

I'll be right back. I'm going to look up your latest post on love and tolerance.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Boats3 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:18 am

Hope y’all are well! Why is it someone always knocks the grumpy person with double digit sobriety? My thought is that’s called brutal honesty.
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Re: If you don’t know ask?

Postby Brock » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:40 am

My thought is that’s called brutal honesty.

Yes it is, and it’s unfortunate that normally passive and tolerant members here have to resort to it sometimes. Some older members wear their years like a badge of honor, almost the first thing they say or write about, and many newcomers may look up to them, and expect their words to be gold. But then they say things like this -
...some of you guys rely on a 3 year sober alcoholic. I'll be honest here, I don't use alcoholics who have only been sober for 3 years for anything to do with my sobriety.

First giving the newcomer the wrong idea that we ‘rely’ on anyone but our higher power, and then guiding them away from asking anyone with less than three years to advise or sponsor them, I wonder if the old timer didn't sponsor anyone until he was three years sober. Before we write things here, which are read by many newcomers seeking information, the think think think slogan applies, failure to do that, will result in other members having little love and tolerance for the writer.
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