Feeling like crap

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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby Noels » Sat Oct 21, 2017 3:52 pm

Hi everyone :D just feel the need to post tonight. So I attended a meeting again tonight and I feel really sad. Its as if I don't even fit in with the members in the rooms anymore despite me relating to much in the share tonight. The share was brilliant. So I relate to the share but no longer with the people in the rooms.
Once damage is done on a very deep level I wonder if a person ever really get over it. I wont even say that its a resentment anymore. Its just "a thing" with no face and no number (like the Modern Talking song). Perhaps some hurts are really simply too big and deep to ever really "get over ". Anyways .... I'm still sober and that's what count.
Have an awesome evening.
Noels xxx
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Oct 21, 2017 5:15 pm

4th dimension of living is just that. there is pain, there is joy but yet we go on with life.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby clouds » Sun Oct 22, 2017 4:25 am

Time heals all wounds Noels. You will feel better.
Ask God for Shelter, you will get it.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby Noels » Sun Oct 22, 2017 8:21 am

Thanks Ava and Clouds. Its nice to know there are still some genuine people who really cares.
Have an awesome Sunday evening.
Mwah xxx Noels
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby Blue Moon » Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:21 pm

Noels wrote:Its as if I don't even fit in with the members in the rooms anymore despite me relating to much in the share tonight. The share was brilliant. So I relate to the share but no longer with the people in the rooms.

I used to feel that way sometimes. It was generally a sign that I needed to get more involved, eg pick up a commitment. This could be making coffee, doing speaking commitments, leader, something to be involved rather than just being another bum on a seat. Some seem content to take and not give back, maybe just BS outside and treat it like a coffee morning. But this doesn't work for me. Sometimes, some meetings have a group of individuals go to a cafe or something for food / coffee, that can be cool.
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby desypete » Mon Nov 06, 2017 12:33 am

the very first message i heard in aa was to keep coming back
it applies to old timers just as much as new comers
there will be times on the road that people get fed up with aa for whatever reason i have been around 12 years and in that time i have seen so many people come and get well and then after time they stop coming back

the rooms of aa should be full of people who has ever got sober full of people with 50 years sobriety yet there are hardly any in the fellowship with 20,or 10 years let alone 50

from what i can see the ones who have made it so long in the fellowship are the ones who have been very active and are still active in service.
they have made it part of there lives to give back to the fellowship and helping others

i stopped going to aa in my early 20s after 3 years as i was bored of hearing the same things being said over and over again by the same people, they were not talking the way i wanted them to so i cut down the meetings to 1 a week
then i stopped going to that 1 meeting a week as i really didnt need it anymore as i was sober and my life was ok

i went 15 years before i picked up the drink again and this time the drink took me to losing it all

so i had to learn the hard way just why it is that simple message of keep coming back keeps getting said over and over again

if i stop coming back then i am on my own and i just can not do this on my own. the first thing that will happen to me is i will think i know what is right for everyone i will start to become god again in my own little world and shape it the way i want it

aa and the people will keep my feet firmly planted in what is real and the other beauty of this way of life is being there ready to help a new comer and see them shaking, see them full of fear, paranoia in deep trouble with no way out

new comers keep it all fresh for me, takes me back to if it was yesterday that it was me in there position

in my area i had to go everywhere i could looking for new comers as not many came to our meetings as its not a very big area with a high number of new comers showing up so i had to go out and find them myself

i went to city meeting and other areas i even started to spend time with tramps thinking i could save them

i havent saved a single tramp yet but they certainly have saved me

you have reminded me that i must get a bit more active in the field myself as i have been a bit lazy myself lately

anyway like i said at the start of the message keep coming back even when you dont feel you want to as those are the times to put that little bit more effort in

on a practical level is some are getting on your nerves in the fellowship then try other meetings
or better still get out there and find a new comer to help
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby clouds » Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:36 am

Hi Noels, hows it going these days?
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby Joanne93 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 2:50 am

Hi I'm new 2 AA, I've been to a couple meetings while I was in a mental hospital, i don't understand why I just can't say this has got to stop and I need to get back on track, i genuinely feel like crap and am hating myself at the moment I'm trying to take minute by minute but it's a struggle, does anyone else feel the same
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:52 am

Initially yes. Because we medicated ourselves with alcohol. Having realized I have a problem, I quickly started attempting to work the reminder of the steps. I say that because, we dont know much and the befogged mind cant grasp a whole lot but just the vigor to get out of this cycle kept me going. And the obsession got lifted and slowly I could grasp the other parts of the program and lead a normal life.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby Joanne93 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:06 am

[quote="avaneesh912"] thankyou for getting back to me, I feel like this is taking over my life that it's not possible for me I need to find a sponsor but can't find one to help me through the 12 steps it's very difficult I seem to get 2 a week or just over and lapse again it's a struggle I love AA letting but there is only one here on Friday as I don't have transport so having to do this online
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby Brock » Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:44 am

Joanne93 wrote:does anyone else feel the same

I think one of the best things about AA is that other newcomers feel the same as you, and every ‘recovered’ member felt that way at first, so we know what you feel. And you coming here and reminding us of how we once felt helps us, thanks for that and welcome to these forums.

I don’t entirely understand if there is just one meeting each Friday in your town, or just one you can get to because of transport. I do know that in most places members are quite happy to come and pick up others, it actually helps them as well, it’s part of our 12th step of service.

I seem to get 2 a week or just over and lapse again it's a struggle...

There is a part in the big book under more about alcoholism, which says this -
We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.

So not getting past a few weeks is just the sort of alcoholic this program was made for, self will does not work, and the mind will trick us back into drinking time after time, many stories in the literature demonstrate this.

I will put up a link for an online sponsor, please ask any further questions if you wish.

Online sponsor -
http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Feeling like crap

Postby PaigeB » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:52 am

Welcome Joanne. Glad you found e-aa - such a great source of online assistance! It sure helped me!

I did start with face to face AA and I encourage you get to whatever meetings you can get to ~ I had to look into their eyes to trust what they were saying. I had to see them a few times to believe they had a different way of living. Sometimes folks will get you to a meeting if you can get in touch with those who attend the meeting. But even before I went to my first meeting I started talking to a woman over the phone. She did not mind that I called her everyday for a while. But even before that (!) I called the hotline in my area. You can follow the links through the website I posted below to find YOUR local hotline or intergroup office. I KNOW that you will find a woman there who is willing to talk on the phone and help out with meetings in the area!

AND I had a sponsor to help me through the Steps. Again, I preferred face-to-face, but working the Steps IS the Solution ~ No matter HOW you get it done. Make a call today! Make a commitment to try this AA thing for 3 months... we have a misery back guarantee!

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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