Spent his birthday with another woman

[chasingdreams]

My boyfriends birthday was last week. He told me that he was going to spend some time with his mom. I met his mom the other day and found out that he did not even see her on his birthday. I asked him what he did and he said he went to dinner with a friend. After some more questions he said the person he went to dinner with is a woman and apparently she is is AA sponsor. He said he felt obligated to go but, it bothers me that she was the person he chose to spend his birthday with. Not his mom, not me, not a friend that Ive met...but a woman Ive never even heard of. After I offered to take him and his mom out for dinner for his birthday... He said he will stop going but, I dont want that. He has never even MENTIONED anything about AA before let alone an AA sponsor that is a woman. Even if it is as innocent as he makes it sound I am extremely uncomfortable with him having a female sponsor.

[Lali]

In AA, we have an unwritten rule: Men sponsor men and women sponsor women, and this is for a very good reason. If I understood you correctly, your boyfriend has hidden from you the fact that he attends AA. If he were working a good program he would not have been dishonest with you about attending AA. Doesn't sound good to me.

[happycamper]

I agree completely with Lali here.

Boyfriend is most definately NOT working the AA program that is outlined for Me and many others. Sometimes it takes awhile to get 'it' and acheive the honesty that is required to live a happy and sober life.

[Todd M]

hi, I am Todd, I am an Alcoholic

While reading, I felt two things... One, there is a "Sickness" "Illness" about this disease...
that effects the people who love us Drunks who want to get and stay sober...

The first part of my getting Sober, was to understand how the First Drink...
Begins a Cycle of more and more drinking, and more and more misery, for me, thus people who love me...

I feel for the BoyFriend, The GirlFriend, and the Sponsor... all are feeling the Sickness of this ugly disease...
Today, this being the first story i read, my heart and prayers go out...
for us suffering alcoholics, loved ones and the addicts.
AA fellowship is not perfect, we are sick people, trying to get well.
The AA steps help guide each of us, and our loved ones, toward a better way of life, with out Drinking.

the Second thing I felt:
We, Drunks and Loved ones, get sober and stay sober Together...
it aint easy, its a stuggle, the Steps slowly guide us toward a better life.

[Blue Moon]

What makes you believe he's in AA?

He's spinning one yarn after another. If he was truly in AA, he'd be honest with you about it. If his sponsor was truly in AA, she'd probably not be meeting him for a birthday dinner date. And even if she was, why would he have any need to lie to you about it?

You need to decide for yourself if this is the sort of guy you want to be with - regardless of whether or not he's in AA.