In telling your husband's story you've told at least part of my story.
The reality was that my wife was unable to affect my drinking/not drinking. The solution for me required the program of alcoholics anonymous.
What she WAS able to do was to take care of herself.
There is a fellowship, sort of a sister fellowship to alcoholics anonymous. It is called alanon. Their home page is here.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Alanon is a fellowship of men and women, affected by someone else's drinking, who share their experience, strength, and hope on taking care of themselves and developing a spiritual fitness needed to deal in the type of situations you are describing.
What you describe, if I may be so bold, is that you may be powerless over your husband's drinking? Well this is part of the first step of alanon.
Check out their web site and see if there is anything there you identify with. You may find kindred spirits there.
regards,
Karl