Alcoholic husband is now drinking Nyquil and sleeping pills

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Alcoholic husband is now drinking Nyquil and sleeping pills

Post by frustratedwife74 »

I am a concerned & frustrated wife of almost 20 years, I am also a wife who is losing respect for her husband...

First, let me say when my husband and I got together I did not know he was an alcoholic. I knew his father struggled with being an alcoholic when my husband was a kid, and into his teenage years. So much so that he use to water down his father's vodka to prevent him from getting too drunk. Anyway, eventually his father stopped drinking and passed away a few years ago, he had been sober for well over 20 years!

As for my husband, I first realized he had a problem with his drinking after we were dating and living together for approximately 6 months. He would go to work throughout the week and drink on the weekends. It was like he was 2 separate people - the respected, well dressed and well groomed professional Monday - Thursday and the alcoholic Friday nights and Saturday nights. I never really understood the need to drink. My parents rarely is ever drank. I also never drank in high school, like many teens do, so this was all new to me. I assumed I could just help him, but I realized after being married approximately 5 years he needed more than just my help...

We were living in Indiana and had purchased a home with a finished basement, where we essentially had our living room. I noticed the couch we had down there was damp with a circular pattern one day. Mind you it was in the basement, and we had 2 dogs, so I assumed either one of our dogs peed on the couch or perhaps something was leaking from the ceiling. I looked up and didn't see any moisture on the ceiling, so I concluded one of our dogs peed on the couch, which was also strange to me considering they had a 'doggy' door where they had access to the outside at all times. Still, I chalked it up to a strange, one time, occurrence from one of my dogs. I cleaned it and went about my week. Then it happened a couple more times. I was about to throw out the couch and block the basement to prevent the dogs from going to there again, until one Saturday night I woke up in the middle of the night and ventured downstairs and was shocked to see my husband wearing what I can only describe as a 'diaper' made out of a trash bag!!!! Yes, that is right...he made a 'diaper' out of a trash bag because he had started drinking so much that he would pass out and PISS ALL OVER HIMSELF!!! I was so shocked and disgusted that at the time I did not know what to say to him or how to approach the subject with him that I just ignored it and did my best to forget it...not easy to do once you see something like that!

Anyway, after about another 2 years or so, I approached him and told him I know he has a problem and he needed to begin going to AA. He agreed and made a show of going a few times. So over the years he would start going, then stop, then start, then stop. He has currently stopped going. This brings me to my ultimate reason for joining this forum...I have begun noticing empty bottles of Nyquil and sleeping pill bottles. I thought it was strange since no one in the house had a cold recently. Then looking at our checking account I noticed about every 2 or 3 days there would be a charge from CVS pharmacy, so I went snooping. I found SEVERAL brands of sleeping pills in his briefcase, as well as 9 anti-depressant pills in the bottom of his briefcase, which I am not sure where he got them from, considering there was no bottle or label with them. I also saw 2 empty bottles of Nyquil and 2 more that had not been opened yet. I have begun keeping a diary of how many pills seem to be missing from his briefcase and how much Nyquil he is consuming nightly. Am I just overreacting or has this now become his substitute for drinking?

Any advice would be MUCH appreciated because we have a three year old and I am not going to subject him to a nasty divorce if I am overreacting, but I also do not want him exposed to this type of environment...I don't think it's healthy!

Thank you ~ Frustratedwife74

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Re: Alcoholic husband is now drinking Nyquil and sleeping pi

Post by Reborn »

I remember waking up several times having pissed significant other pointing this out to me...and how embarassed I was. However this was not enough to stop me from drinking, I continued on for years until I finally reached what we call the jumping off place. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol and I couldn't control what would happen when I drank it. I began using sedatives during the day to keep me from shaking...and yet later that night I would be drinking again. The reason I'm telling you this is we alcoholics don't have one clue why we continue to do the things we do...what seems insane to you is completely normal to us. I'm sorry to say that sometimes it takes an extreme situation to get us to that jumping off place...I'm not saying that is what is going to happen here...but alot of us have to lose alot before we surrender.

I would suggest for your own sanity to look into Alanon...this is a program for people who are affected by the alcoholic. I know you might think why do I need to go to this sort of thing he's the one who is sick? Alcoholism affects everyone around the problem drinker and those around us become sick as well. Have you had an honest discussion about the things that are bothering you with your husband? Maybe bringing it up in a non-combative way would be least to get it out on the table. I wish you well...and please think about helps.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

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Re: Alcoholic husband is now drinking Nyquil and sleeping pi

Post by PaigeB »

Welcome Frustrated. Loving an alcoholic is so difficult on so many levels. I guess that is why Alanon came up right alongside AA from the very beginning. The alcoholic men would bring their wives along when they went to a meeting. Consequently, the women found themselves talking and realized that they too were deeply affected by what alcohol had done to their families. I do not know what conditions caused they to officially become "Alanon" but our families have been along this recovery road from the beginning. I do encourage you to contact them in your area. Might put a little ray of hope in your difficult days.

I am an alcoholic. I do not know what good it would do to count the substances I used. Nothing seemed more important that feeling "different". It has been a lifelong problem for me... through shrinks and treatments and vacations and once I spent every waking hour at home locked in a dark bedroom. Still, I returned to drinking. It was not until one night, home alone, that I realized that my problem was never going to get better and was likely going to get worse. I also realized that of ALL the things I had tried in about 35 years of suffering, AA was the only thing that offered a ray of hope for me. My family had pretty much given up openly trying to get me to quit and when I went to AA I don't think they instantly thought it would last very long. I didn't think it would either, but I haven't found it necessary to take a drink or pop a pill in over 6 years. BUT, I had to get there myself.

Maybe you could put out his Big Book next to his evening chair? Maybe you could call some AA's in your area to come and do a 12 Step call on him sometime, just have them stop by and talk with him? Unfortunately, you might be forced to call a doctor if the combination of substances requires immediate help.

I wish you and your family a lot of Love. I know this is a difficult time for you. <3
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Re: Alcoholic husband is now drinking Nyquil and sleeping pi

Post by positrac »

You know outlets are available and it sounds like this man wants to die because he can no longer control what he never could control in the first place. You have to look out for yourself and the rest of your family. He has gotta want to get sober, stay sober and go to any length or it means zero. The ladies have the experience here and I hope you can find peace in something said.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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Re: Alcoholic husband is now drinking Nyquil and sleeping pi

Post by Annette222 »

I'm going to throw another idea out here; maybe it will help, maybe it won't. But when I first stopped drinking, the hardest part was, and still is, falling asleep at night. My body and mind were so used to alcohol helping me sleep that I needed "something" to knock me out. Otherwise, I would be staring at the ceiling all night. So, I started taking sleeping pills and Nitezzz (Nitequil version of sleeping pills). The OTC sleeping pills made me hyper so I started taking melotonin instead which really helps. But, rather than thinking your husband is abusing sleeping aids, he may just be trying to sleep to get back to normal. I agree that you need to find a support group like Al-anon.

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