What to do...

If you're not an alcoholic but have questions about AA, here's the place to ask them. Anyone may post messages and replies in this forum.

What to do...

Postby JAB1223 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:56 am

My spouse has been in AA since June, after detox. She has relapsed some where between 5 and 6 times. She has a great sponsor and people that want to help her. It's tough trying to trust her again. I question when she seems "off." She tends to blow up over the smallest things! She was prescribed meds in detox that she didn't take--- now she has started to take them... Her mood is all over the place and she gets so mad at me. One minute she's happy and doing great, then with the flip of a switch, she's a different person. I really want to trust her, but it's so hard. I tried Al-anon it made me more paranoid. I want to help and support her, but it's getting tough. I don't know what to do.
JAB1223
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:25 am

Re: What to do...

Postby Niagara » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:14 am

Hi Jab, welcome to E-AA

I can relate to what you're saying, in that I used to do the same thing to my husband when I was struggling - which was all of the time, pre steps. I was taking it out on the wrong person though. He could have jumped through a million hoops, trying to help and support me, but it was never enough. Early recovery is tough on all of us...but I do believe it's tougher on the family that it was on me. They never knew whether they were coming or going - and that was MY fault. As you say, happy one minute, crying the next. I felt so horrible inside that it came out on those I loved the most, when they were not the cause.

Is your wife working the steps? That's where the solution is, and where the change comes from.

All that said, Alanon have their own 12 step program. Did you get into the steps at all yourself?

There are some chapters in the big book (basic text of Alcoholics anonymous) that you may find helpful - To wives (except it's to husbands in your case. I still believe it's relevant, and the family afterwards) It might shed some light as to where you're at at the moment, perhaps give you a bit of guidance.
You can find the big book here http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

Best wishes, I hope you all find peace. This is a horrible disease, and I feel for you all.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month -
Theodore Roosevelt
User avatar
Niagara
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1235
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 5:38 am

Re: What to do...

Postby whipping post » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:17 am

I sent you a pm (private message). Best wishes.
User avatar
whipping post
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 386
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:20 am

Re: What to do...

Postby JAB1223 » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:24 am

She is starting to get into the steps.
I have yet to dive into them in Al-anon. I need to make more time- as it is I am pretty much the full time parent, in addition to working.
JAB1223
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:25 am


Return to Our Friends and Families

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest