New here. looking for some help

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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Duke » Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:41 am

The hard truth is that some people will pursue their obsession undaunted by anything anyone else does to the ultimate conclusion. I have seen it happen with folks in the program and family members. Every effort I've ever made to directly control their behavior has not only failed, in one case it prolonged the agony.

The one thing you can do is to show them that positive change is possible for anyone through pursuing a spiritual solution. The only way I know for you to do that is to pursue your own spiritual solution to the fears and doubts that currently plague you through Alanon. Only God knows if that will help your brother or not, but, I guarantee, it will help you with your current dilemma.

Good luck to you.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Sharonneeds help » Sun Dec 14, 2014 1:20 am

Good morning , my name is Sharon this isthee second day of not drinking for many years . I drank a least 2 big bottles of wine staring at 4 pm & ending whenever I passed out . Yesterday was a ruff day but I was proud that I didn't take a drink. But I drank water to where I think I over flowed. The only thing I can say is I'm taking one day at a time & to try to bet that voice in my head. Today I will keep busy with my grandchild Aubree so that will keep me busy for a few hours, I noticed if I keep busy it helps but I think I wore myself out yesterday. Whatever it takes to beat this I will do.i noticed it helps a lot to talk to people about this problem. Thank you for listing.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby ann2 » Sun Dec 14, 2014 2:26 am

Sharon I'm so glad you're here! Congratulation on 2 days sober! Fantastic news!

Big big hugs,

Ann
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby ann2 » Sun Dec 14, 2014 2:52 am

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"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby shaunagus » Sun Dec 14, 2014 5:05 am

Hey Sharon, welcome:-)

Great to see you posting and well done on getting the first day out of the way. Have you got a copy of the book 'Alcohlics Anonymous' I found it really spoke to me and I had a great sponsor take me through the book chapter by chapter really getting to understand it.

Hang in there, when we are desperate ebough we get willing to go to any lengths to get sober. In the end it was never endinf fear and anxiety that forced me to get sober, along with an overwhelming sort of sadness. Everything was just unbearable - my life was unmanageable basically.

It gets better.

Keep coming back.
“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." Rumi.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Niagara » Sun Dec 14, 2014 5:10 am

Hello and welcome, Sharonneeds help, good to have you here.

Well done on making it to your second day - I remember those early days very well, and they weren't very pleasant. Water is good! I felt horribly dehydrated for a while after quitting. Don't be afraid to eat sweets or fizzy drinks either. I found those helped a little, since alcohol has a lot of sugar in it which I suddenly cut dead. I have had to wean myself off them now though :lol: I was turning into a jelly baby monster!

Have you looked at the AA services in your area yet? I was a few days sober when I forced myself to go to a Face to face meeting. I suffered from awful anxiety/depression, and was effectively housebound for years. It was hard, but as scary as it was, it was the kindest thing I could have done for myself.

There is a free online version of our big book, if you don't have a physical copy. Google 'AA big book online' The first few chapters really helped me to understand this thing called alcoholism (because I thought back then that the only alcoholics were those guys in dirty overcoats, living on the streets and drinking out of a brown paper bag) It helped me to clear up the whole 'am I or aren't I' denial aspect of this disease, which was hugely important to my recovery.

I have just over 5 months sober now, and I won't say I've got my old life back. I have a new one...a better one. It's not all a bed of roses, but even the bad days are better than my best drinking days, if that makes sense.

Hope to speak to you again soon Sharonneeds help x
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Duke » Sun Dec 14, 2014 7:25 am

Welcome Sharon. Hug that grandchild for me. I get to spend the morning with children too, teaching Sunday school. I always come away feeling better than when I got there.

To imagine that I'd someday be a stable, regular volunteer in my early days was beyond imagination. I was so overwhelmed with dealing with the changes in my life. But you know what? I did it one day at a time with the help of my friends. You can too. Embrace the program and keep sharing. You'll be looking back before you know it and wondering where the time went.

Thanks for sharing.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Pat82 » Sun Dec 14, 2014 9:19 am

Sharonneeds help wrote:Good morning , my name is Sharon this isthee second day of not drinking for many years . I drank a least 2 big bottles of wine staring at 4 pm & ending whenever I passed out . Yesterday was a ruff day but I was proud that I didn't take a drink. But I drank water to where I think I over flowed. The only thing I can say is I'm taking one day at a time & to try to bet that voice in my head. Today I will keep busy with my grandchild Aubree so that will keep me busy for a few hours, I noticed if I keep busy it helps but I think I wore myself out yesterday. Whatever it takes to beat this I will do.i noticed it helps a lot to talk to people about this problem. Thank you for listing.


Goodmorning Sharon :-) My name is Pat and I'm an alcoholic. Congratulations! Its good to see you here! You're so right about talking to people and are much wiser than I was early on. I drank at home alone and was closed up tighter than a clam. No one knew I was walking into walls on the way to bed. Well, except for the recovering alcoholics I worked with. I'm sure they suspected. ;-) In fact, I know so because once I decided to reach out to AA, I found out an awful lot of them were AAs. They had walked a mile in my shoes and recognized the path I was on.

You've already got the main thing required... Willingness! That is so very important when the choice of recovery is made. You've already been given some excellent tips so I won't repeat them. I just wanted you to know that I'm another one here offering to walk with you and help in any way I can. Keep coming back and sharing.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Lali » Sun Dec 14, 2014 10:26 am

Welcome, Sharon! I like your screen name. If you need help, you are definitely in the right place!! Looking back, I remember that the first few days are the hardest. You have made a big life decision. Drinking lots of water will help flush out the poison in your system. Eat lots of sweets too as alcohol has a lot of sugar in it and your body will crave it.

I'm glad you are staying busy. A great way to stay busy is to attend some face to face meetings, as well as online AA. Have you ever been to an AA meeting? Why not call Alcoholics Anonymous to find out where to go for meetings? There will be a listing in your local phone book.

I suggest that you get to the next available meeting, let the people there know that you are new and request a phone list (this is a list of people - same gender people - whom you can call when you are seriously thinking of drinking.)

Listen to the people share and look for the similarities, not the differences. It is a good idea to attend several different meetings in your area to look for a good fit. Let the women in the meetings know that you would like a temporary sponsor to guide you through the steps. The steps are the program and probably the most important thing you will ever do in your life.

Keep sharing here and let us know how you are doing!
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Brock » Sun Dec 14, 2014 11:12 am

Welcome Sharon, as usual there has been some excellent advice from the members here, glad you found us. All that I might add is that it helped me enormously when I found out that this craving lasts for a relatively short while, within a few days I found it went away to a great extent. Then by attending AA and doing what they suggested it pretty well disappeared, I honestly can’t remember the last time having a drink crossed my mind, and the life of freedom from anxiety and general serenity I live now is absolutely marvelous.

Some folks when they stop drinking find it beneficial to visit a doctor, there you may be prescribed something to ease the withdrawal, if you find yourself in need of this you might consider it. All the best to you, and keep in touch with us here
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby PaigeB » Sun Dec 14, 2014 1:22 pm

Sharonneeds help wrote:Good morning , my name is Sharon this isthee second day of not drinking for many years . I drank a least 2 big bottles of wine staring at 4 pm & ending whenever I passed out . Yesterday was a ruff day but I was proud that I didn't take a drink. But I drank water to where I think I over flowed. The only thing I can say is I'm taking one day at a time & to try to bet that voice in my head. Today I will keep busy with my grandchild Aubree so that will keep me busy for a few hours, I noticed if I keep busy it helps but I think I wore myself out yesterday. Whatever it takes to beat this I will do.i noticed it helps a lot to talk to people about this problem. Thank you for listing.


Glad you found us Sharon! E-aa really helped me a lot when I first sobered up! We are a group of alcoholics dedicated to each other and to new folks looking for a way out of the alcoholic slavery we were so mired in. There are meetings in my town 4 times at day at least, but I could not live in meetings, I had a life - what was left of it - it had become pretty small near the end. I still had my family, complete with the grandkids but my mind was a trap. Having online AA and especially these forum boards was a way I could "check in" and get some support moment to moment or hang out for as long as I wanted.

Keep coming back. AA and the 12 Steps saved my life.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Hanna » Sun Dec 14, 2014 3:50 pm

Hi Sharon,
Welcome to e-aa. Coming here was the 2nd best decision I ever made, the 1st was deciding I needed to stop drinking. That was 2 1/2 yrs ago and life has gotten so much better for me. This is the 1st holiday season in yrs that I am not riddled with anxiety, it's a result of not drinking and taking the 12 steps.
The folks here helped me to get sober by sharing their experience, strength and hope with me, (I thought I was hopeless, good think they didn't,lol). I still come here every day as part of my soberity, I always find someone has posted something that helps me or I try to reach out to help the next suffering alcoholic who has made their way here. That's what this program is all about, one alcoholic helping another. We are all here to help you too, and by sharing your story you have helped me today. I never want to forget how I felt when I first got here. Sending prayers your way~
Hanna
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Dec 14, 2014 6:22 pm

Hi Sharon and welcome

Congratulations on your second day sober!

Whenever not drinking feels rough, especially when your clock says it's 4 pm and your brain says "Hey, it's happy hour. Where's my drink?" it really helps to keep the plug in the jug, come on line, and talk to another sober alcoholic about it. That and regular meetings is how we all stay sober one day at a time.

Keep coming back...
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Sharonneeds help » Mon Dec 15, 2014 1:33 am

This is my 3rd day of not drinking & feeling on top of the world. I know I'm going to have struggles today but I will work through it. i woke this morning feeling great & I want to keep that feeling up. For over 20 years I drank & now my eyes eyes are opening up to a new world, new me & most of all a new future. Thanks to all the support I have gotten from all you good people & friends.
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Re: New here. looking for some help

Postby Stepchild » Mon Dec 15, 2014 4:38 am

Welcome Sharon...There will be ups and downs...Just try and not pick up that first drink no matter what. I quit a lot of times...And I don't know what was worse for me...When times were good...Or when they were bad...I always ended up drinking again. I needed to try something different....That's where AA came in. Have you considered going to a meeting and seeing what it's about?...Getting a copy of the Big Book and learning about our solution?....I'd recommend both of those things.....That changed my life.
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