Dealing with alcoholic brother

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xumu
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Dealing with alcoholic brother

Post by xumu »

He is 52 and can be a real meanie. I been living with my brother for several months. He has issues with me when I turn on my space heater. We have sliding glass windows. Even when its 30 degrees out he cracks his window. I been putting up with his abuse for months, years. He has little respect for me. He gets unemployment. He often complains under his breathe and has a short temper. He trys to take advantage of the situation when he has pickled his brain with beer and wine. He drinks more wine now. He used to not like wine and scolded people that drank it.

I used to drink beer, wine, on occasion and never got mean and nasty like my brother does. I'm disabled and often try to be out of the apartment when he is home. He likes to argue and thinks people take advantage of him . I've had people tell me to move away. I want to but would likely be homeless.

My brother has had issues with me since my teen years. He always says he can't take care of me but I'm only his guest here. My eldest brother not living with me and a family friend know all that he does to be a pain to me.

I'm still waiting on apartments to come up for me and leave and not look back.

I'm just wanting peace without burden and struggles with a drunk.
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Brock
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Re: Dealing with alcoholic brother

Post by Brock »

Unfortunately some people like your brother do get mean and nasty when they drink, some others do not, but in this case he appears to want to drink, and there is not much you or anyone else can do about that. If at some point he finds himself addicted to alcohol and drinking it brings no more pleasure to him, he may decide to stop and then hopefully AA will be there to help, but there is nothing to be done unless the person wants to stop.

I think for you acceptance of both the fact that you can do little or nothing about his drinking, and nothing really about your living with him, may bring you some peace. In AA acceptance is something we learn, of course if we can change a situation we do, but if there is nothing to be done we must accept that this is what I have, it won’t be like that forever in your case, but for the time being it is. There is a prayer you have probably heard, the first few lines say - “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It uses the word ‘serenity,’ and that is important, it is possible to feel at ease in the midst of conditions which are not very good.

Everything changes, nothing lasts, Covid will be a thing of the past, and probably so will the trouble you are currently having while living with your brother, I hope you can find some peace and acceptance in the meantime.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
xumu
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Joined: Sun Nov 29, 2020 1:11 am

Re: Dealing with alcoholic brother

Post by xumu »

Thank you.

I spoke with a local counselor and that has helped a little. I still await for my own place should know soon.

I will seek serenity in meantime
bonnieshona
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Re: Dealing with alcoholic brother

Post by bonnieshona »

If you want to better understand what to do and not do, I would suggest that you go to an Al-Anon meeting. There you will meet others in a similar situation and learn how to deal with this. HE must decide that he wants help and needs to quit. If he lives w/your Mom, she needs to practice some tough love and make him move out on his own. As for his health, unless he stops, it will get worse and it may take him. Hopefully, he will wake up and see what he is missing before it is to late. He already lost a wife, and from the sounds of it, he is losing his family, too.

Good luck to you, your family, and to him.
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