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What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:17 pm
by Alex1
Hello,

I wanted to throw the question out. What is my role at a meeting? What am I doing there? What sort of thing am I supposed to share?

A lot of times people say 'just to get current' and then share the worst thing they've done that day or their worst attitude. Is that right? Isn't that what a sponsor and the steps are for? So what's the meeting for?

I'm a little unclear on this.

Thanks

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:30 pm
by Reborn
What we're supposed to do is share our experience, strength and hope so those who are younger in sobriety can see there is a solution to their problem. Unfortunately to many people in AA use it as therapy...which is definitely not what we're there for. As you move forward in recovery you will see this quite a bit unfortunately...just remember AA's primary purpose...tradition 5..

Each group has but one primary purpose--to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:23 am
by positrac
Your question is like asking why did we rink , use and go to bars? So in the sober context it is to learn how to live sober in the early stages and eventually to explain our current sitrep----experience strength and hope comes in time and it hits us all at different periods. But really all of this depends on the individual. Why meetings is it is better than white knuckle insanity which will lead to going back out to drink and or use. like in life these are what we make it and willingness.

I use the suggestion of this: one-two hours a day is all that is asked of a meeting attendee and the time I know I drank was way more time than a daily meeting.

I agree some meetings really stink because it is a negative context of that person's day. As a reminder in early sobriety people are just learning how to deal with life on life's terms and it can be quite difficult.

Be well

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:03 am
by avaneesh912
Its unfortunate how things have turned out. People think by sharing whats going on inside in the meetings, is going to solve their problems. Sad part is some of the sponsors encourage the people who work with "to their ass in a meeting". You are right about these are the stuff where the sponsor could guide someone overcome these internal/external difficulties and then the same person could come into the rooms and show the power of GOD on how they overcame the obstacle.

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:56 pm
by PaigeB
I think we are supposed to share THE SOLUTION in meetings.

For instance, a newcomer last night was shy about saying she had 4 months and went on to tell us about her day, good and bad. In subsequent shares other women shared how they got through the early days - lots of meetings, getting a sponsor, working the Steps by going through the Big Book with a sponsor... and some had more defined experience "When I was in treatment... so I know what that is like.... I still made it through by DOing....."

But I have been to "how was my day meetings" and they are not very helpful. I changed the way I acted IN that meeting by asking if I could choose a reading from the Big Book to get us started, and then shared my ES&H on that reading ending with "I want to hear from others what they thought of the reading". They did not all talk about the reading, & I did not interrupt those who talked about their day, but soon it came to pass that we do a reading and talk about a reading rather than "my day" as the usual thing. I did not do this alone. I asked other folks with good sobriety to drop in on that meeting and there were regulars there that had good sobriety that were happy to talk about a reading from the book rather than "my day".

Looks like you have an opportunity to be helpful! :wink:

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 5:54 pm
by tomsteve
We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek.
unfortunatly, i dont think the fellowship many seek is much different than the fellowship that was experienced at the bar.

as for me, when i was new, the point of meetings was to learn a few things:
-there are many who had been in my shoes and had recovered.
-what did they have that i wanted?
- how to get what they had
and a bunch more.
today, the point of meetings for me is to carry the message of hope to the still sick and suffering alcoholic- to share my experience of the progression of alcoholism on my mental state,the drinkin thinkin and what it caused, how the wreckage got deeper as alcoholism progressed, and how i got out from under.also the message the recovery doesnt mean everything will be sunshine,daisies, and unicorns, but its possible to live life on lifes terms with better solutions than alcohol.
i take the message to meetings and my mess to my sponsor outside of meetings.
even when i take my mess to my sponsor, he wont listen to crap if i just wanna whine.
cant thank that prick enough for not enabling me to whine.

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 6:46 pm
by ezdzit247
I wanted to throw the question out. What is my role at a meeting? What am I doing there? What sort of thing am I supposed to share?


There are several different kinds of AA meetings--speaker meetings, Step study, Big Book study, topic discussion, podium participation, Living Sober meetings, etc--so it really depends on what the format of the meeting you attend happens to be and whether there are any newcomers present. If there are newcomers present, introducing yourself during the coffee break or after the meeting, regardless of the format, is always a good idea.

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 3:19 pm
by clouds
I like step discussion meetings the best. These aren't the same as Step study, or Big Book study meetings. Each week the topic of the meeting, which meets once a week, is a step, starting from one through 12 for 12 weeks and then start at step one all over again. People share on their personal experience on the step. I always learned something new at meetings like these, usually exactly what I need at the time. Even though I have been around for quite a few years it often amazes me a newer member will share something so insightful on a step that its a benefit to some problem or difficulty I'm currently wrestling with. I'm sure my own old stories of how I work the steps are less fresh, but they're all I have!

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 11:57 pm
by Noels
clouds wrote:I like step discussion meetings the best. These aren't the same as Step study, or Big Book study meetings. Each week the topic of the meeting, which meets once a week, is a step, starting from one through 12 for 12 weeks and then start at step one all over again. People share on their personal experience on the step. I always learned something new at meetings like these, usually exactly what I need at the time. Even though I have been around for quite a few years it often amazes me a newer member will share something so insightful on a step that its a benefit to some problem or difficulty I'm currently wrestling with. I'm sure my own old stories of how I work the steps are less fresh, but they're all I have!


Good morning :D I'm sure my own old stories of how I work the steps are less fresh, but they're all I have!- and thats good enough for me :D

Luv ya Clouds :D
mwah xxx

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:41 pm
by Roberth
Hello Alex1, My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. I was taught when I share to tell them my name and tell the truth. The book put out a pretty good suggestion and what to share.

"Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now."
.
I share that I used to be like so the new person might relate to me, I share what happened so they might get so hope and I share what I am now so they might want what we have. I share my personal experiences not what they are going to experience.

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:09 am
by Noels
Heya Alex :D I go to meetings firstly because I need contact with people who are like me - alcoholics, secondly and especially in the beginning of my sobriety, I needed to learn how to live life on life's terms. This to me means I didn't know how to handle daily problems. I always knew about God/Creator but had no clue how to handle pain, stress, negative reactions/comments made towards me, someone else having a bad day and taking it out on me, etc, etc.

So I actually appreciate and learn from other members sharing their daily hardships provided they also tell me how they dealt with it and got through that hardship. THAT to me is sharing our experience, strength and hope, not just telling you all the funny and not so funny crap I got up to and in to when I was drinking, then telling you that I found God/Creator by working the 12 step program and then ending my share by telling you how my life have changed because I don't get into trouble (or rather ... don't get into trouble THAT OFTEN anymore :lol: ) and how much my husband and son love me.

Nope, by listening to a share like that I learn absolutely nothing because that wasn't my problem to begin with! My problem from day 1 was that i didn't know how to LIVE life on life's terms.

I know exactly how it was when i was still drinking so yours cant be that much different surely. Perhaps you were arrested a few times, crashed some cars and lost your material possessions but the feelings inside was exactly the same. I already had a relationship with God/Creator cause He/She/It was never missing and my husband and son loved me even when i was still drinking so sharing something along those lines teaches me absolutely nothing.

Telling me how your boss demeaned you in front of all your co-workers, how you remained calm and discussed his demeaning behavior with him privately in his office during lunchtime and how he thereafter apologized to you because he never realized he spoke down to his staff - THAT teaches me something.

Hope this help and keep on smiling. Life is way easier when we can see a joke in all the negative :D

mwah xxx Noels

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:06 pm
by kdub720
The meetings always give me to much anxiety. I like the gathering aspect, I like how someone before commented how it is like a bar to socialize. The only thing is that a bar you can just sit there and are not expected to participate. I have herd of newer AA rec centers were you just stop in and kick it.

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:30 am
by tomsteve
kdub720 wrote:The meetings always give me to much anxiety. I like the gathering aspect, I like how someone before commented how it is like a bar to socialize. The only thing is that a bar you can just sit there and are not expected to participate. I have herd of newer AA rec centers were you just stop in and kick it.


havent been to a meeting yet where everyone is expected to share. where did ya hear that youre expected to share?
those rec centers are called alano clubs and many of them have the doors open 24/7

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:45 pm
by ezdzit247
kdub720 wrote:The meetings always give me to much anxiety. I like the gathering aspect, I like how someone before commented how it is like a bar to socialize. The only thing is that a bar you can just sit there and are not expected to participate. I have herd of newer AA rec centers were you just stop in and kick it.


Hi kdub

Alano Clubs are very popular. They generally have snack bars for coffee, cold drinks. soup and sandwiches as well as pool tables, card tables, couches, etc and are a great place to meet up with other AAer's or just hang out in between meetings.

If you like gathering and socializing with other sober alcoholics but get anxious about the possibility of being called on to talk, you might try going to some speaker meetings where you can relax, sit & listen to the speaker. Lots of AA members, myself included, experience this kind of anxiety about talking in meetings at first, but eventually everyone gets over it and you will too.... =biggrin

Re: What's the point of meetings?

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 7:20 am
by clouds
Hi kdub, there still are plenty of days I don't feel comforable talking in groups too.
I hope you find an Alano Club nearby where you can talk just one to one or sit around and listen on those kinds of days. 8)