Group secretary

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Group secretary

Postby Nickie » Thu Jan 19, 2017 6:29 pm

Hi

I'm about 18 months sober and after my first 3 months, a new group was started in my small home town. There were only 3 anchor members at the start, which grew to 4. A few people said they wanted to become anchor members, but they weren't encouraged by the 2 ladies in charge. I think they weren't what the 2 people wanted for members. Anyway I made the tea for a year, and after my first birthday was asked to take over secretary only for 4 weeks. I did that. Recently I was asked again to do secretary, and I think I did an OK job.

But last week, I got a woman to speak who told us a profound story, you could hear a pin drop in the room. It's only an hour meeting and we had a big crowd, with this and that I realised we would be late so with 10 minutes to go I said that I wanted to get around to everyone and if nobody objected we might run over time.

We ran over by 10 minutes. One of the ladies sighed, rolled her eyes, and kept tapping her watch. The other one gave me a talking to after the group saying I was wrong, who did I think I was, I didn't make the decisions but group conscience did and if people had no time to share "f them'

A few others noticed what happened and there has been talk of bullying behaviour. There is a group conscience meeting scheduled for tomorrow. I am terrified to go because I think they will attack me because they assume I complained about them, which I didn't. (my dad has been seriously ill and I didn't have time, or inclination to talk about anything with anyone)

I feel like walking away from this group. I have tried to do my best for the past 15 months. I feel like they are bullying me and it doesn't feel nice.

Thanks for listening
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Re: Group secretary

Postby Layne » Thu Jan 19, 2017 8:24 pm

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Go to the group conscience meeting and express your thoughts. Let the group make it's decision.


but they weren't encouraged by the 2 ladies in charge

No one (or two) people are in charge.
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Re: Group secretary

Postby D'oh » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:41 pm

Our (COMMON WELFARE) should come first. Personal recovery depends on AA Unity.

No 2 people should say (demand) how a meeting is to run. Unless it has been voted in the Group Conscience. Which should be Voted on tomorrow. With your view being a part of it.

Personally, I would state that the Doors did not lock at 9:01, Anyone could leave at anytime, or talk until there was no one left to hear it. Sorry, I too have spent over my fair time at times at Meetings. But to be fair, the After Meetings usually hold more insight to my problems.

My vote, "The Meeting ends when it ends." Even if there isn't an All Night Liquor Store in my town. (Oops, did I type that out loud?)
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Re: Group secretary

Postby Brock » Fri Jan 20, 2017 5:16 am

Welcome to e-AA Nickie. It is unfortunate when a couple of people feel they have more say in how a meeting is run than the other members, I have never heard the term “anchor” member, but understand what is meant by it. However anyone can just say I am a member of this group, and unless the group can show that they are a member with voting privileges in another group, they are in and have a right to vote on any group conscience matter, in other words nobody can say who is an anchor member or who is not, I am if I say I am is a basic AA tradition.

However when we live in small communities we tread a little more carefully, it does not mean we take nonsense lying down mind you. In the past I have found the AA pamphlet “The AA Group Where It All Begins” most useful, here is a link to it = http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-16_theaagroup.pdf

And here are three sections of importance, I have highlighted part of the second one -
P28. The Principle of Rotation: Traditionally, rotation ensures that group tasks, like nearly everything else in A.A., are passed around for all to share.

P29. Placing principles before personalities, the membership is wary of dominant opinions.

P30. But it is important that the minority, or dissenting, views be heard along with those of the majority. In some instances, they may even turn the tide.

Sounds to me that these ladies are guilty of thinking their opinions have more weight than other peoples, and you might point out where AA warns against this.

You say you feel like walking away, and if they don't have a change in attitude follow that gut feeling, it is far better to cut ties reasonably cordially, and then you can attend the meetings just as a guest if you wish, rather than a resentment developing, which I expect has already started.

Best of luck to you.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Group secretary

Postby Blue Moon » Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:39 pm

Nickie wrote:But last week, I got a woman to speak who told us a profound story, you could hear a pin drop in the room. It's only an hour meeting and we had a big crowd, with this and that I realised we would be late so with 10 minutes to go I said that I wanted to get around to everyone and if nobody objected we might run over time.

We ran over by 10 minutes.


IME people in the meetings will always get impatient when the meeting time runs over, no matter how good the speaker. Especially those who smoke. So you learned that people in AA like their schedule, and they tend to dislike change. Why not chalk that up to experience and move on?

A few others noticed what happened and there has been talk of bullying behaviour. There is a group conscience meeting scheduled for tomorrow. I am terrified to go because I think they will attack me because they assume I complained about them, which I didn't.

Are you sure you're not "projecting"?

If there's talk of bullying behaviour, it sounds like you have support. Sometimes, "bleading deacons" need reminding of Tradition 2, and that it's not "their' group to run. If they don't like it, they're quite entitled to move on.
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