Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby Brock » Sat Sep 30, 2017 6:39 am

I can see where a 'newish' person might not know about a home group, but I would lay the blame for that squarely at the feet of the sponsor, the same one who seems more interested in her little clique. The home group is our 'favorite' group, the one we would attend most often, and we are encouraged to volunteer for a position, helping with coffee etc. And even a half good sponsor would have explained all of this, we also have a say in how that group is run, via a vote at any group conscience meetings.

I wonder how far in the steps this so called sponsor has assisted you to reach, and I just have a feeling that's it's not very far. Please keep in mind that many people change sponsors, and if you see someone you think you can relate to better then ask her. Some sponsors would have had you finished with the steps at four months, some others still messing around and not even getting past 4 & 5, which is where very often the good feelings of this program start kicking in. I love so much about AA, but don't like the different qualities in people who sponsor, in one room we can find very good, medium good and hopeless, sorry to say but I believe yours falls in the last category.
We have some old-timers here, one just celebrated 33 years of sobriety! And he still comes to meetings!

This happened to me as well, more than one of them, every meeting I went to there they were. And there was me, nervous, bad coffee and hard chair, not enjoying these meetings at all, and these old timers loved to talk just like your example. Luckily there was one I saw who just came to one meeting each week, he said he comes to pass on what he learned when he was new. I spoke to him, and he said some folks like the clique of other old timers have not much else in life, and coming to meetings was an outing for them. So have no fear about that, meetings do become more 'fun' as as we go along, and when the steps are done you may go just to help others and see some friends, you won't have to go because of fear that you will start drinking if you don't.

If you get the Joe & Charlie with writing on it that avaneesh spoke of, and follow along with your book, you will get a better understanding of the steps, no need to overdo just a little read when you feel like, if we go too fast it's hard to absorb. It's going to work out, keep the faith that AA works, and best of luck.
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby desypete » Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:32 am

i can always see myself in brocks posts, more so when he starts complaining about others in aa =biggrin

it reminds me of when i was about 5 years sober and pulling other aa members to bits in the meetings as i honestly believed my own head and what it was saying to me also i had a gut feeling that i always lived by
my head would tell me that, old timers were old farts who shouldn't be spouting off there rubbish, the group leader was a big head ego manic, the tea maker should make the tea far better. anyone and everyone came under attack in my mind back then

but i was ok and perfect compared to them lot =biggrin
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby desypete » Mon Oct 02, 2017 6:36 pm

Brock wrote:Desipete, you take absolutely no note of my motives for saying what I say, especially in this case where we are trying to advise a newcomer who raised the topic, and giving our own experiences and advise. If at five years you were complaining about tea makers, or some other such insignificant part of the AA program, then thank God at five years, I was nothing like you, and certainly not that way now.

Every post you must come back, it's getting tiresome. We speak about not lousing it up in the other thread, you come back with some rubbish about thousands and thousands of meetings to choose from, no consideration for others who don't live in large cities with wide choices, selfishness.

Patsy quoted Bill Wilson our founder -
Sobriety - the freedom from alcohol, through the teaching and practicing of the twelve steps is the sole purpose of an AA group.

We don't always have to agree on everything, and I certainly don't embarrass anyone in a meeting who has a personal problem to get off their chest, and you saying -
i can enjoy peace without me getting all hot and bothered about what people do or say in the rooms of aa

What in heavens name makes you believe I or anyone else is all hot and bothered, we can't even have a discussion without you passing judgment, if you have something intelligent to add please do so, but disagreeing for disagreement sake is immature.
...worst of all was watching there videos and hearing there followers laugh and cheer whenever they made remarks about aa memebers who are not one of there follwing

Really you have watched videos of Chris R and others of his type who have put you off, never heard of such a thing, recorded voice yes, but because we recommend you tube it doesn’t mean it's a video, as we have mentioned countless times, I suspect you haven't even checked to see for yourself.

And since you praise yourself for this great ability to let others say what they want in AA groups, and you can take it or leave it, I suggest you try practicing that in this group, and stop rushing out like a little ankle snapping dog every time I say something.


oh dear =biggrin

brock i see and read your posts very often and i dont respond to many of them as there mostly the same thing
moan about sponsors
moan about aa meetings
moan about anything and everything who or what doesnt fit in with your view

thats why i said i seen myself in your posts as i to would do the same as you and the sad part was, i honestly believed i had this thing =biggrin

as for the chris r thing
yes i have watched them but they always have the same theme to them
ie he moans his head off about aa meetings, watered down messages and how it would of killed him if he heard there message of keep coming back etc
except of course he did keep on coming back and he still keeps on coming back but this time both he and his sponsor mark have made a very good living out of being the way they are in aa
12th step work should be given freely not be a paid job

anyway we are now going way off topic and i agree it ends up then becoming a slanging match with does no good to anyone

i am very blunt brock at times as its what has been given to me in the rooms of aa as there is no other way sometimes to try to help someone to see

but maybe there are times i should just sit back and do nothing as no one could tell me what to do either
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby Patsy© » Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:11 am

oh dear =biggrin

brock i see and read your posts very often and i dont respond to many of them as there mostly the same thing
moan about sponsors
moan about aa meetings
moan about anything and everything who or what doesnt fit in with your view


Personally, I would much rather read Brocks posts, then to try to muddle through all the AA misinformation and misery in your posts Pete. Oops, I hope I wasn't moaning too much! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby PaigeB » Thu Oct 05, 2017 11:22 am

I love you both!

Now stop it! We can agree to disagree in AA... God sends us with a message and we send it, leaving the results to HP. Arguing just looks ugly. So Love and Tolerance you two. Seriously. It is on page 84 at the bottom... oh and immediately followed by "We ceased fighting... we reacted sanely and normally..." :shock: =biggrin :lol:

I suggest you both brush up on that page. No pun intended, LOL.
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby desypete » Sat Oct 07, 2017 10:36 pm

Patsy© wrote:
oh dear =biggrin

brock i see and read your posts very often and i dont respond to many of them as there mostly the same thing
moan about sponsors
moan about aa meetings
moan about anything and everything who or what doesnt fit in with your view


Personally, I would much rather read Brocks posts, then to try to muddle through all the AA misinformation and misery in your posts Pete. Oops, I hope I wasn't moaning too much! :lol: :lol: :lol:


you seem to change your tune at the drop of hat patsy ?
not long ago in another thread you was arguing with brock and saying how wonderful it was to read my posts =biggrin

anyway what does it all matter ? i am sure in my lifetime i will upset plenty as i am to blunt at times but i just hope it makes anyone really have a look at themselves and for them to ask themselves i am really just being an aa know all or can i really live and let live in aa ?

or maybe i just talk a load of old rubbish
but either way i am sober today.
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby Patsy© » Tue Oct 10, 2017 5:50 am

you seem to change your tune at the drop of hat patsy ?


Actually, what I do is simple. I read the post here in the now and then I post. Sorry if it confuses you or has you thinking that I change my tune at the drop of a hat. See, I don't have a tune or a hat.... but carry on :)

Paige, that is not arguing, its my reply :) And I love you too, what a job you have, its a very hard job....and I wouldn't trade places with you for anything.
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Re: Home Group Resentment Toward the "Old-Timers"

Postby Patsy© » Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:21 am

but i just hope it makes anyone really have a look at themselves and for them to ask themselves i am really just being an aa know all or can i really live and let live in aa ?


Its not our job to make anyone really have look at themselves or to have them asking themselves if they are an AA know-it-all. Our job is to keep the focus on our own recovery and to change the person we bring to AA. I am not sure that you understand what live and let live means. I can tell you that it doesn't mean what you posted above.

Not sure if this is arguing or not Paige, so please do what you think is best :)
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