Dwelling on it as if we might in any way be to blame is certainly not necessary, and we can really only guess at what might have actually happened there anyway. Although I would tend to doubt this, maybe someone at that meeting had suggested he go try some controlled drinking. Or maybe...or maybe...Alex1 wrote:...after I spoke to him he went to a meeting. Then he went home and got drunk.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I guess a mixture of irritation, disappointment and frustration. I don't want to dwell on it though, it's not my fault.
But what we do know is this:
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink." (page 24)
"...assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop...[maybe] he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not...a tremendous urge to cease forever...impossible...the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish." (page 34)
Some people do try just not drinking one-day-at-a-time to try to get past that at Step One, and that is actually one thing that has helped some of us finally take all of it.
a. We had no control over our drinking while drinking;
b. We could not keep from drinking after we had stopped;
c. We could not manage our own lives out of that mess.
If any or all of that has ever been your own experience, hopefully you might get yet another opportunity to share it with him.