strategies for sharing at meetings

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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby Duke » Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:42 am

As someone who's spent way too much time in my life wondering what other people are thinking about me, I've had to come up with reminders to let those thoughts go. One of my favorites is to silently remind myself, "boy, it's a good thing that what you think of me is none of my business". It always makes me smile.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby Squawking Hawk » Thu Feb 27, 2014 6:12 am

Duke wrote:As someone who's spent way too much time in my life wondering what other people are thinking about me, I've had to come up with reminders to let those thoughts go. One of my favorites is to silently remind myself, "boy, it's a good thing that what you think of me is none of my business". It always makes me smile.


:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Love it!

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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby shaunagus » Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:00 am

Squawking Hawk wrote:
Duke wrote:As someone who's spent way too much time in my life wondering what other people are thinking about me, I've had to come up with reminders to let those thoughts go. One of my favorites is to silently remind myself, "boy, it's a good thing that what you think of me is none of my business". It always makes me smile.


:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Love it!

Hawk


Me too:-)
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby Tosh » Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:55 am

Duke wrote:As someone who's spent way too much time in my life wondering what other people are thinking about me, I've had to come up with reminders to let those thoughts go. One of my favorites is to silently remind myself, "boy, it's a good thing that what you think of me is none of my business". It always makes me smile.


I'd hate to know what people think about me. I've problems with my ego as it is. :lol:

I think a good initial strategy for sharing at meetings is to understand our own drinking story and how it relates to the physical allergy and the mental obsession. Coming up with three-to-five occasions when we drank far more than what we planned to drink would be a good start. For example one of mine would be that as a young soldier after work, I'd go to the gym and lift weights. After, I'd call into the Naafi bar, still sweating, and plan to have just two beers before going back to my barrack block and showering. What used to happen was that I'd have those two beers, get the 'taste' (the allergy had kicked in), borrow some money from a comrade and spend all evening in there. Come the next morning my bed's wet and I'd not even showered.

Or how the mental obsession with alcohol affected us? And understand how in relation to our own drinking and how we - driven by our obsession - planned our life around drinking (like I'd try to get the stuff I REALLY had to do, done quickly, so I could start drinking as soon as possible, because once I started drinking, I turned my will and my life over to it - and nothing else got done).

I think it's good to have this kind of stuff ironed out; it always comes in handy, not just for meetings, but for 12 Step work too; I love it when I've got a newcomer to myself and I've got his attention with my own drinking story and I'm sharing how these two parts of the problem locked me into a cycle of drinking and getting drunk and I see his head nodding - like he can see himself in my story.

Other times if I think someone is struggling, and they're new and not working a program I'll try to share a message of hope; starting with when I was hopeless and working up from there. I don't know if it's effective, but I try to share to help someone else.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby shaunagus » Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:35 am

Tosh - that's perfect. Thank you :)
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby Tosh » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:58 pm

No problem, Shaun, it's nice I can be of service.

One other thing, remember Rule 62 (Dont' take yourself so goddammed seriously); it's from the 12 x 12. I swear that rule is more profound than what most folk give it credit for. A.A. is a great place to make mistakes; gawd knows how many times I've made a complete arse of myself. I even celebrated my 1st year A.A. birthday 3 months too early. :lol: I've cried at meetings too (tears of gratitude mostly). Who cares?

We're a forgiving lot, and we've short memories too. I bet you can't remember most of what people shared from two weeks ago. They/we won't remember what you shared either; we're more concerned with what people think of us than you (and there's freedom in that). And it's always a bit strange sharing in front of your sponsor too. I think because we know that they know our most innermost crap, sharing like 'we know something' feels like we're being fraudulent; it's not. You've had that spiritual awakening. But for these reasons I can still feel awkward sharing in front of my sponsor.

We're a funny lot! :lol: Rule 62!
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby chefchip » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:16 pm

Tosh wrote:One other thing, remember Rule 62 (Dont' take yourself so goddammed seriously); it's from the 12 x 12.

I love that story. Probably because when I read it -- at the suggestion of someone else -- it was the first thing in AA I had read that I didn't identify with even one little bit!

And if you believe that one..... :oops:
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby shaunagus » Thu Feb 27, 2014 5:13 pm

Tosh wrote:No problem, Shaun, it's nice I can be of service.

One other thing, remember Rule 62 (Dont' take yourself so goddammed seriously); it's from the 12 x 12. I swear that rule is more profound than what most folk give it credit for. A.A. is a great place to make mistakes; gawd knows how many times I've made a complete arse of myself. I even celebrated my 1st year A.A. birthday 3 months too early. :lol: I've cried at meetings too (tears of gratitude mostly). Who cares?

We're a forgiving lot, and we've short memories too. I bet you can't remember most of what people shared from two weeks ago. They/we won't remember what you shared either; we're more concerned with what people think of us than you (and there's freedom in that). And it's always a bit strange sharing in front of your sponsor too. I think because we know that they know our most innermost crap, sharing like 'we know something' feels like we're being fraudulent; it's not. You've had that spiritual awakening. But for these reasons I can still feel awkward sharing in front of my sponsor.

We're a funny lot! :lol: Rule 62!


Again - perfect! I love AA.

Today has been a really good, successful, peaceful day with just the right amount of work, life and even a decent bit of tv - night all (insert yawning emoticon here)
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby Jessica » Wed May 14, 2014 11:40 am

Thanks for posting this, shaunagus. I am plagued by what you are describing. sometimes I feel like i have so much going on in my head how to actually focus into a comprehensible share. or am i really getting the point of the topic..? When i do share it sounds like a mess to me. I really appreciate your post since its something im struggling with also and its annoying me!!!! Im definitely and over-thinker.
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby KeyLimeMike » Sun Jun 01, 2014 12:30 pm

I am uncomfortable at all meetings at some time, I am human. Always within a few minutes my experience has been that I feel a part of. If you are comfortable speaking you should not be uncomfortable speaking at meetings. Early in sobriety for me it was pretty basic, I wanted to be smart, and make everyone think I was very pontifical, but the truth was I didn't know crap. If I am uncomfortable it is about me and I need to figure it out, am I not good enough, am I too good, whatever.
I never plan what I am going to say, I spend that time listening. That is something I needed to practice with humility. I speak from my heart, I an not unique, I am just a broken person sharing with broken people there is nothing to be afraid of unless I am out of sorts within. I am not a big fan of Discussion meetings these days, as the 24 hours a day grew into many I found I get a lot more out of book study groups than anything but that is just me.
I can't stay sober by myself, and I didn't get sober to be miserable, HAVE SOME FUN.
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby Bob7 » Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:27 pm

I have come to love and depend on my HP. I see my way of repaying Him for all I have been blessed with is by sharing with others the the results of his Grace in my life...........therefore, I ask God to inspire me to say what He would wish me to say (I sometimes even joke about it by telling the group this and if they don't like what I have just said..blame Him, not me). Sometimes later on that evening I go over what I shared and think to myself "maybe I shouldn't have said that or I gave away too much information tonight".....I totally understand that uncomfortable feeling is nothing but my Ego rearing it's ugly head.
Spirituality is seeing the extraordinary.....in the ordinary
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Re: strategies for sharing at meetings

Postby otterlynn2 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 3:38 pm

shaunagus wrote:
chefchip wrote:What Layne said... :wink:

Shaun, I tend to overthink everything. Pardon me for saying that you might be doing the same thing. No matter what anyone says sharing is going to be scary to you until you have done it for a while.......My advice? Quit overthinking this. It's not as hard or as scary as you have made it out to be in your head. Or is it? :mrgreen: :twisted: :evil:

Chip


See, now I thought I had burned enough incense, worn enough patchouli oil and done enough meditation (I have done 8 days straight meditating!) to have transcended my crazy, earthling brain. You know, I even wore tie-dye in the 90s, thats how spritually advanced I should be by now. Sheesh.

My name is Shaun, I am a thinkaholic :P


I heard someone say on a speaker tape their sponsor asked them: "oh - had you had your first "think" of the day? The disease centers in our mind (from the big book) - thanks for sharing what many feel.
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