My sponsor fired me last night

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by Whadahay » Fri Dec 07, 2012 9:08 pm

Hi BigD. I just know that if I hadn't committed to work the 12 Steps and be involved IN AA and not just around it, I would not be here writing this post.

You are spending so much energy getting in your own way, it seems. Stop debating and just do the work and you will be fine. I came into AA an athiest and totally deaf to the God talk. But I became willing to listen. When I listen to others, I find that I'm not listening to the negative voices in my head so much. That's why sponsoring myself is NOT a good idea. Tried that and it doesn't work with my brain chemistry.

The 12 Steps have taught me EMOTIONAL sobriety. What freedom! But I have to work at it - reading affirmations, talking recovery, taking action by doing service work helping others, etc. If I stop doing any of this for even just a couple of days, I feel like I have backslid to square 1 with my stinky thinking. The resentments have lessened so much!! Don't you want that too?

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by madcatter » Mon Mar 11, 2013 2:56 am

Reading over some of these pages it seems to me big d you dont understand your illness.
I ask you......what is a alcoholic?????

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by Marc L » Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:26 pm

madcatter wrote:Reading over some of these pages it seems to me big d you dont understand your illness.
I ask you......what is a alcoholic?????
Sometimes conversations span across multiple threads which makes them difficult to follow. It has taken a while but D has made some progress. ... 097#p77097

Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by Brock » Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:12 pm

Well done Marc.

It sometimes happens that we don't look back through the pages, to see where the writer of the original post, has agreed with the advice given. The same thing as this one, also applies to the 7 year itch, where madcatter did not see that the writer SouthofBoston came up with a new plan, half way down page two.

Let's try to read all pages, before commenting on the top of page one !

God bless all who contribute to the forums.

"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by Ida » Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:06 pm

I'm sorry you are having a hard time, BigD. If you have slipped 3 times while working with this sponsor, perhaps it is best to try and work with someone else. Obviously, if you are slipping while working with a sponsor, it probably isn't working with the two of you. I'm not in any way saying that you slipping is your sponsor's failure, but if you are still slipping, then it leads me to believe that perhaps you and this sponsor are not the best match, and that is o.k. My former sponsor had a policy that if I slipped, she would no longer sponsor me- not because she was punishing me but because she felt that if I drank while being sponsored by her, but because she felt that if I slipped, it meant she wasn't helping me in the way I needed. There is no harm in finding someone else; perhaps they will be a better fit. Honestly, if you haven't called your sponsor, you might be avoiding them because you don't have the trust needed between a sponsor and sponsee (not sure if I spelled that right) for you to finally fully disclose, let go and get well. Best of luck to you.

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by BigD » Thu Mar 21, 2013 1:11 pm

I am the original poster.

Thanks for all the replies. In a couple of weeks I will celebrate one year of sobriety. While I have not gotten a new sponsor in the traditional AA sense, I am working the steps with a licensed therapist and it is going very well. Maybe one day I will get a sponsor,maybe not. But what I am doing is working for me, and I'm happy.

Again, thanks everyone!

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by Tosh » Thu Mar 21, 2013 1:18 pm

Well done, Big D. I'm glad you're still around, with us, sober and happy.

Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by becksdad » Thu Mar 21, 2013 3:05 pm

Alright! Good to see you, Big D! Hope to see and read more of you here!

Keep coming back!


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Re: My sponsor fired me last night

Post by ann2 » Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:50 am

Well, that is really really nice. Thank you so much for the update and CONGRATULATIONS on what you've accomplished!!

I think this is a good opportunity to lock this thread -- all the issues have been well addressed, and it's gone on for 6 pages now.

Please feel free to start a new thread!! on anything :-)

"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada