Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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soberism wrote:This is serious stuff, i will be relieved when step 4 is over, i think this one is going to take me a month if i am to be thorough, i need to be... the bigger the dump, the lighter i´ll feel is how i see it... it will be good to see where i have been malfunctioning in life... but i´m going easy on myself... i feel i gotta be kind to me whilst doing this step...
That is a great way to blablabla yourself into inaction. Sorry I say it that way, but I don't say it just like that. You don't have to take it easy or be kind on yourself; you have to be honest. Thoroughness is not found in time spent or in mulling over things that are obvious. It is in reading the questions, and honestly answering them. Sure, it can take you a month. But if you start thinking "I'd better make sure I take a month or else it would mean I'm not thorough", you are kidding yourself
JUST DO IT. Put yourself to writing a dedicated amount of time per day, and get along with it. You don't need a biography either. And if you can't imagine how it will work, or not sure you are doing it right, don't worry. I think just about all of us have these feelings doing inventory.
Ask your higher power to show you what you need to see. He'll help when you let him.
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Soberism - There is a payoff. I and anyone I have asked has felt a great weight off of their shoulders upon completion of the 4th Step. It is well worth the work put into it.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
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Lali wrote:Soberism - There is a payoff. I and anyone I have asked has felt a great weight off of their shoulders upon completion of the 4th Step. It is well worth the work put into it.
I second that.
Be totally honest with yourself.
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A baby boy needs a daddy and a sponsor fulfills that need and tells you what you must do.
A baby girl surly should go to it's mother and she will be comforted with the musts needed.
Sober adults that are sober ought to be able to follow 12 simple personal instructions and if not it may not be alcoholism but a mental disorder that the book talks about.
A MUST has no freedom and never given the chance to grows up, Institutions are all about musts holding one accountable.
A OUGHT is about FREEDOM not having to be told knowing what you ought to do, they call that a responsible adult over the age of 18 but lets give it to 21.
A problem I can see if a baby cannot grasp the simple program clinging to others and when the other is right the baby prostitutes there charter for comfort, Personal willingness is a problem indeed.
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I'm not sure I like the baby analogy; it sounds sort of, well, silly.
I'm 41 and I sponsor a guy whose 74 years old and two months sober. He's not a baby - he's old enough to be my father - and I treat him with respect, like I try to treat all people these days. A sponsor is not a 'Daddy', or any figure of authority, just someone whose went through the 12 Steps and works the program, and is there to assist and explain AA and the program to a newcomer.
Can I refer you to this leaflet on sponsorship that explains it in better detail:
And my sponsor certainly isn't my 'daddy', he's a wise friend who works a good program and I trust him.
I'm more commonly known as Tosh (it's a nick name, but everyone I know in real life calls me it); just in case there's any confusion; I tend to use Tosh or Ken interchangeably and it confuses some; including me.