I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby nitros » Fri Apr 28, 2017 8:46 am

I've been just over a month sober, and i just managed to complete my first step, i will start we the rest of them but i think i need a sponsor, but at my F2F meeting, i can't find anyone that i feel completely confided.
Can someone please suggesting how should do/feel to pick a sponsor ?

Thanks

Adriano
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby Noels » Fri Apr 28, 2017 2:13 pm

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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby nitros » Fri Apr 28, 2017 2:46 pm

Hi Noels,
Thanks for answering me, but I didn't really get what you were saying, I might understood that my question is not appropriate?
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby Brock » Fri Apr 28, 2017 3:30 pm

Have no fear nitros, your question is quite appropriate, and it is something which has been asked here quite often before.

When Noels speaks about your “handle,” I expect she means the name you use here 'nitros.' Maybe to some it may mean like nitroglycerine an explosive, but you are Italian and I am sure it is a very good name to use. We have had people here with many odd names they write under, so don't concern yourself with this. If fact it is silly to suggest that people are not helping because of a name.

I would say that the first step is something we never 'complete,' it is the one which we will remember forever, and is vitally important. Of course a sponsor from your home group is usually the best choice, and by listening to what the members say, we usually look for the ones who seem happy and content in their sobriety, and who speak about the steps they took. Remember in the book it says that when we get to #5, we may choose whoever we want to confide in, this may be a priest a doctor anyone who by their work can be trusted to keep things confidential. So your sponsor does not have to be the one you confide in, if you lack that level of trust in him, just say you believe a priest should assist and he will understand, if he does not then he's not a good sponsor anyway.

Some people get online sponsors, I can't find the link to that here, but someone may come along who can put it up. Also a few of us myself included never had a sponsor, and used the you tube speakers like Joe & Charlie and various internet instruction sites, and got through just fine, but I will say that with a sponsor I would probably have got through the steps quicker.

I expect others will give further advise, all the best to you.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby D'oh » Fri Apr 28, 2017 3:47 pm

Find a F2F Person!

Who has 1 day more Sobriety than you, and has something that you want. Beautiful House, Kick A Car, Trophy Wife, or even a Serenity that you want. Ask them "How they got it?"

Fear is what is blocking your choice, no need to be. I have been helped more by helping others through the steps than I have helped I am sure.
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Apr 28, 2017 6:06 pm

Can someone please suggesting how should do/feel to pick a sponsor ?


There are great workshops on the web that is freely available. I would suggest you pick one of those and start listening to with your big book and a high-lighter. And in the meantime, keep looking. See how people treat each other in meetings and outside. For me the powerlessness and un-manageability concepts were driven home by workshops by Chris R. Once you realize that we are doomed without the power, God will put someone in your path to help you see the selfishness and self-centeredness and walk you through the rest of the steps.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby SoberInMI » Sun Apr 30, 2017 1:35 pm

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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby Brock » Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:21 pm

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"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby SoberInMI » Sun Apr 30, 2017 6:21 pm

May God bless you with a long and sober life!
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby Roberth » Mon May 01, 2017 11:39 am

I wish I tell you how to pick one but I was lucky mine picked me..
All he did was to introduce me to the principles of AA by taking me thought the steps and showed me how he did AA. He removed the fear of honest self-evaluation from me and led me to the path that my journey has followed.
The first thing he told me was “as your sponsor I would not tell you what to do, only what I would do.” 25 plus years later I do the same.
You might just say you are looking for a sponsor when you share… They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear.
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby JohnDaniels » Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:51 pm

Nitros

I just signed on here so I'm sorry for being a little late in my reply

Here's what works for me as far as a sponsor - I looked for a person who I admired, respected and who I might want to kind of pattern after

I found him and it has worked out great

Best wishes
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby bbqking » Mon Jun 26, 2017 8:02 pm

It takes me quite a while to warm up to people, I usually need to observe people for a while and talk to them on different occasions before I feel comfortable. You might want to inquire with members how they found one, or ask if there is anyone in particular they might recommend outside of that particular group, maybe someone you hadn't considered or thought about.

If other meetings are an option, try a variety of others and see what they are like and talk with the folks there.

It can be intimidating and a bit scary, but if you make a little bit of effort to get to know others and let them know you, it can open up some possibilities you weren't aware of. Scary, but it can be a rewarding part of recovery.
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby steephills » Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:17 am

I'm also trying to find a sponsor. It's a lot more difficult than it seems.
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby PaigeB » Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:06 am

Just go to a lot of meetings and look for people who really speak to your heart, who have what you want! If you find someone ask if they have gone through the 12 step with a sponsor - if they have ASK THEM... WE need a guide, not a guru. We are all just channels for peace & hope... This is an inside job.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: I'm at the point to find a sponsor

Postby Lutherrall » Mon Aug 21, 2017 3:25 am

Brock wrote:Have no fear nitros, your question is quite appropriate, and it is something which has been asked here quite often before.

When Noels speaks about your “handle,” I expect she means the name you use here 'nitros.' Maybe to some it may mean like nitroglycerine an explosive, but you are Italian and I am sure it is a very good name to use. We have had people here with many odd names they write under, so don't concern yourself with this. If fact it is silly to suggest that people are not helping because of a name.

I would say that the first step is something we never 'complete,' it is the one which we will remember forever, and is vitally important. Of course a sponsor from your home group is usually the best choice, and by listening to what the members say, we usually look for the ones who seem happy and content in their sobriety, and who speak about the steps they took. Remember in the book it says that when we get to #5, we may choose whoever we want to confide in, this may be a priest a doctor anyone who by their work can be trusted to keep things confidential Link removed by moderator. So your sponsor does not have to be the one you confide in, if you lack that level of trust in him, just say you believe a priest should assist and he will understand, if he does not then he's not a good sponsor anyway.

Some people get online sponsors, I can't find the link to that here, but someone may come along who can put it up. Also a few of us myself included never had a sponsor, and used the you tube speakers like Joe & Charlie and various internet instruction sites, and got through just fine, but I will say that with a sponsor I would probably have got through the steps quicker.

I expect others will give further advise, all the best to you.


I suggests you choose one of those and start listening to along with your big book and a high-lighter. And also in the meantime, always keep looking. Find out how people treat each other in meetings and outdoors. For me the powerlessness and un-manageability ideas were driven home by workshops by Chris R.
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