A request for a sponsor

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Brock » Wed Sep 14, 2016 3:34 am

Just to refresh the memory of anyone, who might be thinking RadGirl is looking for excuses by not going to meetings, she is not someone who is newly sober. She has mentioned five years of sobriety on several occasions, including the opening line of this thread.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby positrac » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:02 am

Brock wrote:Just to refresh the memory of anyone, who might be thinking RadGirl is looking for excuses by not going to meetings, she is not someone who is newly sober. She has mentioned five years of sobriety on several occasions, including the opening line of this thread.



Of course I got that dude! I was referring that point a in general as if you'd been sober for any length of time you should of experienced someone pumping sunshine up your butt!

WTF is it with you anyway? If you have issues with my posts why not grow a set of stones and take it offline! You and another person have been pushing buttons and I haven't gone out and attacked you or them so back the F-off!

We only have one thing in common us drunks on this page and that is our sobriety and I know I am not well liked because I call out BS.
Last edited by positrac on Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:29 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby PuppyEars » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:10 am

He is a pretentious douche that has it all figured out. He is here to teach us patience.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby positrac » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:24 am

PuppyEars wrote:He is a pretentious douche that has it all figured out. He is here to teach us patience.

Well pretentious or not that crap needs to stop! ha ha is all I can do at times like this :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Brock » Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:10 am

Nobody might have known it was your post I was referring to positrac, because like the guidelines ask I didn't use names. When someone advises another member like this -
So IMHO and ES&H I would say that not going to meetings is an excuse...

The common sense deduction is that person is not aware that the member has relative long term sobriety, I miss this sort of thing in other peoples posts myself, and wouldn't get on like you are if someone reminded me. And it's the second time in just a couple of months, you were annoyed with several of us, calling us 'know all board experts' in July, and you went on and on about it for days.

I can't say much about Puppy Ears, his one liners have upset a few of us as well. If I come over as pretentious I apologize, although I suspect that impression may have more to do with the way I use the English language.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:24 am

I completely agree with the fact that a sponsor should in no way have to vouch for another person for a job. It slightly infuriates me because like you said that it really is against everything that AA stands for concerning anonymity. I don’t believe that the ‘only’ way to get sober is through AA as I am living proof but I know that the psychologist firmly believes that it is. I believe it would have made my path to sobriety easier than my own self revelations which were much like AA’s philosophy. I sincerely tried to make it work but being severely hard of hearing I literally cried after leaving the meeting because yet again like so many times in my life my handicap physically made it impossible to function in an average person’s situation. The hard of hearing person reaches out here and is met with a dead end and a suggestion to go to the home group where you couldn’t hear a word anyone was saying. I submitted a request for a temporary sponsor and I received a link that led me right back to the same form that I submitted that led me to the email with the link. It is kind of like chasing my tail. I am glad I am already sober as I would have already given up. Which leads me to the simple fact that I do think I am at the end of my efforts here at this point. For one of my own personal reasons for reaching out for a sponsor to help my chances at maintaining my job is far out of my personality to eve n request a sponsor for that reason anyways. I live a sober life and that can be verified through every person I have contact with and I think that is enough and if that isn’t enough then maybe it is God’s decision to take me on a different path workwise. However, I sincerely wanted to go through this process so I could teach it to others. My thoughts are if I ever lose this job I want to become a counselor for addiction and help others get out of the pit that I fell into and my thinking was that even while I was still employed I could help other people by spreading the word through AA because I agree with its methods and think it is a wonderful thing but you can’t preach what you haven’t went through yourself. So I wanted to take the steps so I could help other people. However, this online thing has proven more difficult than I thought. I thought it would be a good avenue for people like me or people who have other disabilities that make it impossible to go to an in person meeting. Yet all I keep hearing through this avenue is ‘go to a home group’. It’s like banging my head on a wall. This would for all purposes have to be my ‘home group’. The fact of the matter is my father is an alcoholic and I have a dear close friend who is a severe alcoholic and I was trying to take the steps to be a part of the AA system so I could take the lessons I learned to them and lead them to it as well without being a hypocrite because I didn’t go through what I am asking them to go through. That’s kind of where I am at right now. I just wanted to explain further. I appreciate all the input from everyone!
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Brock » Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:58 am

Please rest assured that some here do understand why you don't attend meetings, as you can see I got myself in trouble defending your right not to do so. Also, if the purpose rather than being just a job saving one, as you mention is also to learn and “do” the AA steps, a sponsor is not necessary. Some of us, myself included, did not have one, I know EZ is another.

The only part in the directions in our big book, that requires the assistance of someone else, is the need for a trusted person to hear our fifth step. Apart from following the directions in the book, you can ask here, or search each step from the board search bar at the top right, all of the steps have been discussed here at length.

I also suggest just doing a Google search, if you type in a step number many results appear, one of my favorites is barefootsworld(dot)com, (I can't put the link), but here you will find each step described in detail, and they follow our book closely.

Have a little more patience, the moderators will benefit from you reporting the trouble with the sponsor link, your report may get it fixed to the benefit of yourself and others.
Last edited by Brock on Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby D'oh » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:19 am

Thanks P and PE, I was stewing about that comment most of this morning. Maybe afraid to call it as was it was needed to be called.

And Actually, the Book does describe "Helping other Members find Work and Housing"

A Fellow Member actually got me into the Career that I am in today. Kept me Employed in that Career for 10 Great Years, until circumstances changed. The paths once again met 11 years later through His Family. And once again a Son of and Fellow Member, employs me in the same Career. 26 years later.
Last edited by D'oh on Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:25 am

I sincerely don't know why you guys are fighting but in general isn't AA supposed to be about leading a peaceful life without the drama. Do you two have history of spats? Seriously asking because I don't understand what ya'll are talking about. Please explain what I am missing.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby positrac » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:46 am

Brock wrote:Nobody might have known it was your post I was referring to positrac, because like the guidelines ask I didn't use names. When someone advises another member like this -
So IMHO and ES&H I would say that not going to meetings is an excuse...

The common sense deduction is that person is not aware that the member has relative long term sobriety, I miss this sort of thing in other peoples posts myself, and wouldn't get on like you are if someone reminded me. And it's the second time in just a couple of months, you were annoyed with several of us, calling us 'know all board experts' in July, and you went on and on about it for days.

I can't say much about Puppy Ears, his one liners have upset a few of us as well. If I come over as pretentious I apologize, although I suspect that impression may have more to do with the way I use the English language.

I mentioned lack of meetings from past events and I also saw 5 years sobriety because of the security portion that you didn't feel to mention in your reply. You know you could of just asked what I was thinking instead of trying to be all condescending and being an azz! Yes you and another person have a way of just riding the line enough to push buttons and I did call YOU and ANOTHER experts.

I work on just trying to maintain reasonable tones here and I also don't go out to piss the world off with my views unless I read into and or read some BS lines as if none of us have heard that excuse before. New comers and or trolls need to learn we all don't have stupid stickers on our foreheads.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby positrac » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:48 am

RadGirl wrote:I sincerely don't know why you guys are fighting but in general isn't AA supposed to be about leading a peaceful life without the drama. Do you two have history of spats? Seriously asking because I don't understand what ya'll are talking about. Please explain what I am missing.

Nothing at all, just a little fun in the sun with the fellas.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Brock » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:52 am

Please explain what I am missing.

Sometimes things do get heated here, in this instance what I said at the top of this page started it. Before making the comment I did pause and think of possible repercussions, however because it was being suggested to you that meetings were vital throughout the thread, and then in the last instance you were pretty well accused of making an excuse by not attending, I decided it was worth the risk of reminding everyone that you have been sober for five years. If someone stays sober for five years on their own, I don't see meetings as vital as some others seem to, especially when a very valid reason has been given for not attending.

Now it seems I even caused another member to 'stew' about my comment most of this morning, of course if I knew it would cause this much trouble I wouldn't have said a thing, although some members might just have continued saying you must go to meetings if I didn't, please don't let a little infighting put you off.
Last edited by Brock on Wed Sep 14, 2016 10:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Reborn » Wed Sep 14, 2016 10:03 am

Radgirl...We argue on this site because we are alcoholics...alcoholics like to argue...part of our make up. Don't read to much into this it really has nothing to do with you at all. There have been many many alcoholics who have done the steps right out of the book...like Brock mentioned we will need someone to hear our fifth step but the rest (sponsor or no sponsor) take honesty, open mindedness and willingness. I do think that having a live sponsor is the best route to go...to get a home group...all of the things that AA suggests we do. However you have been sober for 5 years already...and there is no reason you can't take the steps with the guidance of someone online. I tell you what I have a specific process in taking the steps with hand written directions...I would be more than happy to help. Let me know.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby PaigeB » Wed Sep 14, 2016 10:06 am

RadGirl wrote:I sincerely don't know why you guys are fighting but in general isn't AA supposed to be about leading a peaceful life without the drama. Do you two have history of spats? Seriously asking because I don't understand what ya'll are talking about. Please explain what I am missing.

Yeah, there is a history.

Feel free to skim over "stuff". This sort of back & forth doesn't usually happen in meetings. You can get on the women's e-mail meeting list or get to a live chat meeting right here in e-aa.
http://www.e-aa.org/talk.php
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby positrac » Wed Sep 14, 2016 10:08 am

Look life is on life's terms and my points and others are life and we do or shall I say I get red faced sometimes. But life moves on and tomorrow we'll talk about something else. if you allowed these post to set you off to another place then you might really belong because I know I am thin skinned sometimes (most of the time) and I need to be reminded that I can never change people, places and or things and today showed that. Am I going to say sorry for what I posted? No; because I didn't do anything wrong.

See I am the honest one who will express feelings and or whatever and a lot of people hide under anonymous means. I have things to hide and things to share and if anything I do helps keep one person sober for today then I did the best I could. But if I am accused of chasing a person off then I call it this: They weren't ready to hear this yet and need more time to simmer as misery is optional.

I am glad Brock did what he did because it needed to be spelled out and tomorrow is another day.
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