A request for a sponsor

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

A request for a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:05 am

I am new here to online AA and fairly new to AA period but I am five years sober. I am looking for a sponsor. Someone to walk me through the steps to ensure I have gotten them right. However, my case is very odd and I would feel dishonest if I did not explain all of it.
My journey with alcohol began with my former marriage. I was married to a social butterfly who enjoyed parties where the main goal was to get hammered. This was all good and fun until it became a common pattern that at every event I would overdrink and generally do very embarrassing things that I didn’t even remember the next day. After a while of this my then husband got upset at me over these episodes but yet did not think twice about us going to the next big party. On several occasions I would refrain from drinking but due to my quiet nature he got annoyed with me and then encouraged me to ‘just have a few to loosen up’ which ended with the same story. After a while he got tired of it and found someone else and we got divorced. However, with the seed already being planted my saga with the bottle just began. I used it as a crutch to deal with the dissolve of my ten year marriage in 2007 and the loss of my children when they had to go to their father’s to visit. My life turned upside down and I didn’t handle it too well. I should have had an idea that I could be an alcoholic considering my father is an alcoholic and his brother as well. In July 2008 I got a DUI and in January 2009 I went to work with alcohol on my breath which was below the driving limit but above the limit my workplace has. The spin on the story comes with the fact that I work in a place that requires me to hold a clearance and during this time I lost that clearance and in November of 2011 was let go from my job due to this. At the time that I lost my job that was it. That was my bottom and I accepted that I was an alcoholic and quit cold turkey and never went back. I did not at this time attend AA. I have a hearing impairment and wear hearing aids and being required to attend a few when I got a DUI I figured out quickly that I could not hear anyone other than the closest two or three people near me. It was quite upsetting to seek help and not be able to take advantage of it and to walk away from the meeting feeling more depressed than uplifted. However, I was able to get sober on my own. Now fast forward to today I am back at the plant that requires me to carry a clearance and having five years of sobriety under my belt you would think that would be enough but the first thing they asked is for a letter from my sponsor. Feeling a bit terrified I quickly returned to my local AA meeting yet again walking away with defeat being unable to hear anyone in the meeting. I am an honest person to a fault so I simply refuse to fake it and go just to make it appear like I am in it and working the steps. I want to actually work the steps. So out of desperation I began searching and found this online AA which I never knew about. I wish I had discovered this back when I quit drinking on my own. I have now read through the books and am quite astonished that it is a lot like the methods I utilized on my own to quit drinking. I do believe in this program but am in an odd spot. I need to work with a sponsor to ensure I ‘get’ the program and have worked through the steps in a true manner. I will not lie and also say that I would appreciate feedback on my progress as to be able to have something to attest to the realness of my sobriety and my newfound realization of the online program that I can finally access even though I have a hearing disability. If I do not get this clearance I will lose my job and this career is all I have known in my adult life and have no education outside of this. I am pleading for someone to help me. I just want to finally be past having to pay for mistakes in my past and prove that I live the sober life I have come to love. If anyone is willing to walk this journey with me through online correspondence due to the fact that I can’t hear, please let me know.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:27 am

viewtopic.php?f=15&t=5297

This link helps you request one. Wish you good luck.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby PuppyEars » Tue Sep 06, 2016 7:35 am

Is God a pinch hitter? Someone else is sucking so let's put God in...
Good luck?


(edited by forums coordinator)....negative comments are still negative comments in any language. regards,Karl).
Last edited by PuppyEars on Tue Sep 06, 2016 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:03 am

Is God a pinch hitter? Someone else is sucking so let's put God in...
Good luck?


Addressing my response? dont know what you mean by that. Its frowned upon when we sponsor opposite gender. Since no one responded (may be they did through PM), I suggested that she put in a request to the committee. The good luck so she gets a good match.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:07 am

I have not yet gotten any responses and I did try to use that link you put on your post but when I filled it in it would not let me hit 'send'?
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:10 am

PuppyEars wrote:Is God a pinch hitter? Someone else is sucking so let's put God in...
Good luck?


I didn't quite understand this either : (
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Brock » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:50 am

I admire what you are trying to do, one of the moderators here will read this and help you with the application for the online sponsor. But the people at the plant probably have in mind a note from a 'live' sponsor, someone they can phone and ask if they want to make sure you just didn't get a friend to write it. I find it pretty stupid of them, because you could still get anyone to write it, and if they phone just say yes I am in AA and I sponsored her through the steps. Modern drug testing can detect alcohol and drugs months after they were last taken, you would think the plant would do that instead.

Five years is excellent, and especially since you say you have come to enjoy the sober life. I wish you luck with finding what you are looking for to please the management at work, if in doubt maybe you can explain that your hearing difficulty makes live meetings and live sponsors impractical, and volunteer to submit to testing by the company doctor. As for the God being a pinch hitter comment, some people feel they have to write something every time they log on, even if they only have time to put up one line which confuses everybody.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby PaigeB » Tue Sep 06, 2016 9:53 am

RadGirl wrote:I have not yet gotten any responses and I did try to use that link you put on your post but when I filled it in it would not let me hit 'send'?

I see that same problem!

use this link ~ http://www.e-aa.org/help.php
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Sep 06, 2016 3:58 pm

Radgirl, while you get the sponsor figured out, the Joe and Charlie workshops transcript is available in a PDF format. I am sending you to your message folder (PM). Take a look at it. The audio version of it was very useful for me.

Regards
Nare
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Roman James » Tue Sep 06, 2016 4:23 pm

I wish you the best RadGirl. I'm too new to this program to be of any help. But hang in there.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby Lali » Thu Sep 08, 2016 12:51 pm

Something doesn't seem quite right here. I totally understand and emphasize about your inability to hear anyone but those nearest to you. That said, what does that have to do with the inability to have a "live" sponsor? If you can hear those nearest to you, you will be able to hear your sponsor sitting across the table from you or next to you as you read through the Big Book together. I would get a live sponsor. Sounds like time may be of the essence if this is going to affect your job so why not speak to people in your face to face group about your plight? And I agree with Brock in that this would probably be your employer's preference.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:08 am

I prefer this route of communication as opposed to one on one discussions. I find it easier to talk through digital avenues. It is just a personal comfort level aspect.
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby PaigeB » Tue Sep 13, 2016 11:12 am

PaigeB wrote:
RadGirl wrote:I have not yet gotten any responses and I did try to use that link you put on your post but when I filled it in it would not let me hit 'send'?

I see that same problem!

use this link ~ http://www.e-aa.org/help.php

be sure you check the box at the bottom that asks if you are alcoholic.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Sep 13, 2016 3:25 pm

Hi RadGirl

Regarding this part of your share:

Now fast forward to today I am back at the plant that requires me to carry a clearance and having five years of sobriety under my belt you would think that would be enough but the first thing they asked is for a letter from my sponsor.


Assuming you are in the US, the company you work for cannot legally require another member of AA, even a sponsor, to vouch for your sobriety. Whoever is in charge of or makes policy for your company's HR department should review this particular policy with your company's legal department because AA is now and always has been an anonymous program and breaking anonymity to vouch for another AA member is not part of a sponsor's job description. I don't know how much sober time your company requires for clearance, but your regular physician or your company's staff physician can take hair samples for a hair follicle test which is the least invasive and most accurate test for determining whether or not a person has had any alcohol in the last 3 months. Three months of sobriety should be sufficient for job clearance. Please talk to your HR rep and ask if a hair follicle test would satisfy their requirements.

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: A request for a sponsor

Postby positrac » Wed Sep 14, 2016 2:38 am

ezdzit247 wrote:Hi RadGirl

Regarding this part of your share:

Now fast forward to today I am back at the plant that requires me to carry a clearance and having five years of sobriety under my belt you would think that would be enough but the first thing they asked is for a letter from my sponsor.


Assuming you are in the US, the company you work for cannot legally require another member of AA, even a sponsor, to vouch for your sobriety. Whoever is in charge of or makes policy for your company's HR department should review this particular policy with your company's legal department because AA is now and always has been an anonymous program and breaking anonymity to vouch for another AA member is not part of a sponsor's job description. I don't know how much sober time your company requires for clearance, but your regular physician or your company's staff physician can take hair samples for a hair follicle test which is the least invasive and most accurate test for determining whether or not a person has had any alcohol in the last 3 months. Three months of sobriety should be sufficient for job clearance. Please talk to your HR rep and ask if a hair follicle test would satisfy their requirements.

Keep coming back.....

I think the only legal area is if the company paid for rehab and and as part of the agreement for employment after rehab is some kind of semi official proof said individual is sober. "Clearance" has some hoops to be jumped due to the nature of some jobs. In the news we've heard of someone who has defied every legal law security responsibilities. My point is that in our world today so much is revealed at a stroke of the key board and in my last position a co-worker gave up there Top Secret clearance due to issues at home with infidelity.

References for a job for example could yield many results ya know if someone didn't keep those people aware of things going on.


I still go to meetings and I have a huge history with some national security things and saying this I am the janitor at the train station........ ha ha. So IMHO and ES&H I would say that not going to meetings is an excuse because we have a means to drink then we have a means to make sobriety paramount to our lives through good and bad times.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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