Need a sponsor

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Need a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:21 pm

I have been sober for five years but have started to wonder if I need a sponsor to ensure that I am able to maintain long term sobriety. Is there anyone who would be willing to help and guide me on where to start and what I need to do?
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby Reborn » Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:25 pm

Why do you need a sponsor? Are you working with any newcomers?
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:34 pm

RadGirl wrote:I have been sober for five years but have started to wonder if I need a sponsor to ensure that I am able to maintain long term sobriety. Is there anyone who would be willing to help and guide me on where to start and what I need to do?


Hi RadGirl and welcome.

Congratulations on 5 years of sobriety!

Some AA members choose another AA member as a sponsor for one-on-one help in working through the Steps. Is this the kind of sponsorship you are seeking?
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Tue Aug 09, 2016 12:39 pm

I got sober on my own without AA so I did not work the steps and I am not sure past reading and studying the books what I need to do to maintain that sobriety. Is there certain steps that are absolutely necessary that I have not done and need to do. How important is each step? Just don't even know where to start. My main goal is making sure I don't fall apart if everything around me falls apart at any point in time.
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby Reborn » Tue Aug 09, 2016 1:18 pm

A good place to start is read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous from the preface to page 164. If you don't have one you can google it...there are many free digital copies online. The important thing is to identify with what they wrote in that book...especially the part in the beginning (Doctors Opinion through page 43). That is how I made my beginning in AA...then I went to a meeting looking for someone who knew the book...asked him to be my sponsor and we got busy working the steps. If you want what AA offers (happy contented sobriety) you must work all 12 steps fearlessly and thoroughly from the start. Are there any AA meetings you can check out in your area?
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Aug 09, 2016 1:39 pm

RadGirl wrote:I got sober on my own without AA so I did not work the steps and I am not sure past reading and studying the books what I need to do to maintain that sobriety. Is there certain steps that are absolutely necessary that I have not done and need to do. How important is each step? Just don't even know where to start. My main goal is making sure I don't fall apart if everything around me falls apart at any point in time.


Whatever led you to the decision you needed to stop drinking or however you put the plug in the jug and kept in there for 5 years is a good thing. I met a minister at his first AA meeting who already had 25 years of sobriety through a religious experience and wanted to join AA because he liked the fellowship and the way we stayed sober. We are not a glum lot!

My ESH is that working through all the Steps was absolutely necessary for me. Before I started, they were just words on pages and I had no idea what actually working each Step would do for me. My ESH is that the Steps are a process and that as I completed each Step in the order they were written, I gained, among other things, an enhanced consciousness of myself, my higher power, who I really was, and what my place and purpose was in the world and this great big vast universe as well. It was all good. I think everyone in AA who works them, experiences them in their own way, and this is just my experience. The best place to start any process is at the beginning. With AA's 12 Steps, it's Step 1: I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby PuppyEars » Tue Aug 09, 2016 3:59 pm

RadGirl wrote:started to wonder if I need a sponsor to ensure that I am able to maintain long term sobriety

My opinion - No.
You are doing wonderful and I congratulate you.
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby D'oh » Tue Aug 09, 2016 4:25 pm

Wow Rad, I don't know what to tell you.

At first I ran away from your post, then I was intrigued buy it, then Envious and so on.

But after some thought, Good for You on 5 Years! I was ready for a Rubber Room after just 5 days of "Not Drinking, but Not Knowing how to live without one" That was when I got to my first meeting. I walked away that night with Proof that others could live with alcohol, and They Would show me how to do just that.

They did just that, and showed me the Steps, a way of living not only so I didn't drink, but I didn't want to drink. Things got so good that I began to take control again. After time it was "what will 1 drink do?" Then more, then I need a few so I don't shake, so I can go to work and so on. Then of course the wheels fell off.

How can I go back now though? So many did so much for me and I drank the answer away. Until it didn't matter anymore, I couldn't imagine Life With Alcohol, or without. The only answer I knew was in the rooms.

They once again showed me that the Steps hold a way of living that does not require a drink. Not a way Not to Drink. So if you have questions, try a few Open Meetings. Look around the room and see if Someone there has a Serenity that you are looking for, and explain to them your plans.

If it is meant to be, it will happen.
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Wed Aug 10, 2016 4:16 am

When I first began my sober journey I attended several AA meetings but I am severely hard of hearing due to a viral infection in my spinal fluid when I was 20 and I wear hearing aids. There were around thirty people in the room and I could only hear maybe five people that were right beside me. Each time there was yet another person I could not hear it was just a build up of frustration and despair and I walked away with a feeling of defeat as opposed to a feeling of relief. Also due to my hearing impairment meeting new people and not knowing if I will be able to hear them gives me a bit of anxiety. I recently went to a meeting to test it out again and went home and cried because I felt such despair at not being able to make it work. So in my despair I started reaching for something and thought that an online community would be amazing and lo and behold.....here it is! So this is the reason am five years sober but just now reaching out to the AA community. I simply did not know this online thing existed. So now even though I am sober I want to maintain this. I question myself and ask am I sober because my life is good right now or am I sober because I am a changed and stronger person. If my life were to crumble right now would I be able to hold myself together. It's not a risk I am willing to take to go back to my out of control self. I want all the tools available to me if something goes wrong because it did once and as life goes there is no guarantee it won't again. So that is why I am here and I should have mentioned that in my original post. I am completely appreciating your time and comments and any advice you may have.
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Aug 10, 2016 5:15 am

What I can suggest is go to some of sites that have workshops on the big book, I am sure you could hear them well at your home or there are actually transcripts of Joe and charlie workshop if you google them. Take a look at the concepts. The spiritual malady (Being restless irritable and discontented, you could add more anxiety, boredom, snappy, having difficulty in relationship and so on) it all could be related to un-treated alcoholism. Also see if you can relate to the 'peculiar mental twist' the book talks about. They use some great examples in chapter "More about alcoholism". You say you have been sober 5 years. Do you fight the urge? Or is completely lifted? When you drank, do you re-collect if you had control over the amount you drank? These are all common traits of an alcoholic. The spiritual malady, the mental blind spot, the first drink and then the physical craving.

In order for us to go further, we need to get convinced that we are doomed. Otherwise, we may not take it seriously. Thats what is what is happening in the fellowship today. There are lot of people who are not convinced that they have a fatal progressive disease so they do bits and pieces of the whole program. Rely more on meetings, not on the internal consciousness/HP and they hit the blind spot the book talks about.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby Spirit Flower » Wed Aug 10, 2016 11:28 am

RadGirl wrote:I have been sober for five years but have started to wonder if I need a sponsor to ensure that I am able to maintain long term sobriety. Is there anyone who would be willing to help and guide me on where to start and what I need to do?

Read the story in the Big Book about the carpet slipper guy and decide if thats you. (I can't quote the page right now).
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:32 pm

RadGirl wrote:...So in my despair I started reaching for something and thought that an online community would be amazing and lo and behold.....here it is! ...


Hi RadGirl

I love the internet! It's so great for connecting with AAers all over the world! So glad you reached out and found this forum. There is an AA intergroup with a directory of online meetings which you can access via this link.

http://www.aa-intergroup.org/directory_ ... ?KT_az=all

There are two online meeting groups listed in the intergroup directory for hearing impaired AA members, the "Sounds of Sobriety" group and the "Wednesday Text Chat" group in case you want to connect with other AA members who have experienced similar frustrations with trying to attend regular live AA meetings. Here's the intros for both:

Sounds of Sobriety (SOS)
The Sounds of Sobriety online email group was formed to help us who have a hearing loss (deaf, deafened, or hard of hearing) to find a place to recover from alcoholism. For many of us, face-to-face AA meetings no longer work. All members of AA, or those who think they may have a problem with alcohol, are welcome.


Wednesday Text Chat
Video text chat meeting for Deaf/ hard of hearing. If you have a problen with alcohol we can help. We meet on the internet and in San Francisco, Ca


The Wednesday Text Chat group also has live meetings in San Francisco, CA.

Hope this is helpful info. Looking forward to reading more of your posts, RadGirl.

Keep coming back.... :wink:
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby PaigeB » Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:37 pm

Beyond these forum boards, e-aa also has email and live chat meetings!
http://www.e-aa.org/talk.php
http://www.e-aa.org/chat/eaa_chat_schedule_full.php
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby RadGirl » Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:17 pm

This is all very helpful. I definitely like this site. It seems someone is online at all times. I am going to start reading the Big Book this weekend.
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Re: Need a sponsor

Postby Spirit Flower » Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:55 pm

RadGirl wrote:This is all very helpful. I definitely like this site. It seems someone is online at all times. I am going to start reading the Big Book this weekend.

Carpet slipper guy story starts on page 32, then on page 33 is a paragraph for young people.
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