Age difference in sponsorship

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Feeya » Wed May 25, 2016 1:02 am

Hi everyone my name is Feeya, I'm an alcohol and drug addict.
I am really new and I haven't worked with a sponsor yet but I am looking forward to doing that and I was just wondering if age/ age difference matters in sponsorship?
As I said in another thread I am gay and therefor looking for a male sponsor to make things a little easier for me. Now, there are plenty of men at a meeting that I felt really comfortable at, but most of them are a lot older (I'm 22).
Does age difference ever get in the way when it comes to sponsorship? Or is it maybe even useful to have someone older and a little 'wiser'?

Thanks.
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby positrac » Wed May 25, 2016 3:09 am

I would recommend that your agenda is very important because if you go at this with some angle then you might not like the outcome. First and foremost a sponsor is for getting us to learn the ropes of sobriety and to pass this message forward in time.

IMHO age is a number and again agenda because this is more than a lot of things it is about doing and following the suggestions and also reading the big book in order to see the checks and balances of the message being suggested.

So age has no bearing.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed May 25, 2016 3:44 am

Does age difference ever get in the way when it comes to sponsorship?


The key is he/she already worked the steps and is in a position to transfer/teach what he/she learned during the process. For me the workshops helped me a lot and the sponsor was able to help highlight the selfishness and self-centeredness around every character defect. The end goal is for you to have a psychic change.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Feeya » Wed May 25, 2016 4:38 am

I personally don't care about age, I find myself often identifying with older people more so then with people my age. So I will just find someone who has gotten a couple of years under their belt and worked the steps and stuff.
Thank you very much!
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Ali » Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:41 pm

I don't believe age makes a difference. Look for maturity in sobriety. Someone who is their self and not trying to be like Dick, Jane, or someone else. Then you can feel free to be who you honestly are. We have meetings for hetero and homosexuals, men, and women, young and older. So pick where YOU feel comfy. Where ever you go learn to listen and listen to learn no matter who the speaker the message is what you need to hear. If you're going through the big book with someone you'll soon realize what is and what isn't true for us. They told me just this; take the cotton out of your ears, put it on your mouth, lqarn to listen and listen to learn, keep coming back, we'll love you until you can love yourself, you never have to drink again and you don't ever have to do this by yourself! Take it easy, live n let live, by the grace of God you're here, and think think think...think that drink all the way through! Good luck. I apologize, Freya, I've been calling you Freeya. And soon you shall be Free! Enjoy it all! All you have is time, we don't graduate. Just pick someone who is willing to go through these 12 steps and traditions and read the Big Book with ya. Proud of you for starting this journey with us!
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Troy M. » Sat Jun 04, 2016 3:07 pm

My sponsor is about a dozen years younger than me.
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Feeya » Sat Jun 04, 2016 11:32 pm

Well my sponsor now is about two and a half times as old as me and by going to a few meetings I have already realised that age does not matter... we are all sitting in the same boat, wether we are twenty, fourty or sixty!
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Db1105 » Tue Jun 07, 2016 2:45 pm

AAWS has a pamphlet on Sponsorship title Questions and Answers on Sponsorship. You can read it online here : http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Feeya » Wed Jun 08, 2016 5:42 am

Thank you!
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Jun 08, 2016 5:45 am

we are all sitting in the same boat, wether we are twenty, fourty or sixty!


Yes, but the sponsor has experience on how to navigate. :wink: He/she is there to guide you getting connected to this power so you can row the board on your own.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby Feeya » Wed Jun 08, 2016 7:52 am

avaneesh912 wrote:
we are all sitting in the same boat, wether we are twenty, fourty or sixty!


Yes, but the sponsor has experience on how to navigate. :wink: He/she is there to guide you getting connected to this power so you can row the board on your own.

That is true I guess... what I meant by that was, if they are able to sponsor (because they are sponsored, worked the steps and got some time under their belt) it doesn't really matter if they are 35 or 50... as long as I am able to connect with them... does it?
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Re: Age difference in sponsorship

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:57 am

That is true I guess... what I meant by that was, if they are able to sponsor (because they are sponsored, worked the steps and got some time under their belt) it doesn't really matter if they are 35 or 50... as long as I am able to connect with them... does it?

Absolut!
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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