Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Feeya » Tue May 24, 2016 1:39 pm

So... I went to a different meeting today, different people, different atmosphere... I felt very welcomed and, even though they told me I did not have to identify myself as one thing or another I did introduce myself by saying:
Hi my name is Feeya and I am an alcohol and drug addict! And then I cried. I don't think I have ever cried so much in front of complete strangers...
While my first meeting last night left me with a lot of questions and a weird feeling of 'wanting to fix myself', this meeting left me feeling very calm. I am actually looking forward to going there again next week, meanwhile I will check out other meetings in the area as well.

Today someone said to me: Recovery is like peeling potatoes, you can't peel all of them at the same time, take one by one and you will have a great dinner.
In a weird way that makes a lot of sense... and it takes a lot of pressure off of me...


Right now I'm going to bed being 24 hours sober.
One day at a time.
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Tosh » Tue May 24, 2016 3:13 pm

Feeya wrote:Hi my name is Feeya and I am an alcohol and drug addict! And then I cried. I don't think I have ever cried so much in front of complete strangers...


It was powerful the first time I admitted I was an alcoholic too.

Feeya wrote:Right now I'm going to bed being 24 hours sober.


Well done, Feeya:

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Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Feeya » Wed May 25, 2016 12:49 am

Thank you very much!
One day at a time.
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Deskdad » Thu May 26, 2016 9:40 am

I was terrified the first time, "Hi. I'm Shawn - I'm an alcoholic." Before that, I would only say, "Hi. I'm Shawn. I have a drinking problem." Or, I'd leave the meetings before they went around the room for introductions. But, that first time I said it, a weight was lifted off of me. No more denial. No more hiding. I had finally admitted it to myself. Big step. Congrats and glad you're here.
--------------------------------------------
"When I came to recovery, I realized that being a child for 43 years nearly killed me."
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Tosh » Sat May 28, 2016 4:22 pm

Deskdad wrote:No more denial. No more hiding.


The 'denial thing' always confused me. When I denied I was an alcoholic - I wasn't lying - I really didn't think I was an alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic; he didn't wash, he lived in squalor, he looked and smelt like a dribbly vommity alcoholic.

I wasn't like that (yet - I know I know), so when accused of being an alcoholic by my Mother, or the ex-wife, or the current Mrs Tosh, I denied it and I wasn't lying either because I honestly didn't know that I was one.

But at my first meeting, when I heard people share I really identified with them and the penny dropped "Oh, so I am an alcoholic!"

It was a bit of a relief to be honest, and as corny as this may sound - it's true - but I thought if I was the same as you, and you were sober and happy about it, maybe I could do that too?

I left that meeting with hope; something I hadn't felt for a long time.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Feeya » Tue May 31, 2016 9:10 am

Tosh wrote:
Deskdad wrote:No more denial. No more hiding.


The 'denial thing' always confused me. When I denied I was an alcoholic - I wasn't lying - I really didn't think I was an alcoholic.


That is what I thought since I was 11 years old and I always thought that I was way too smart to 'be in denial'. Even when people told me that I probably was, I did not believe them.
Now I do and I'm starting to understand how my own thoughts are lying to me...
Realising that was a relief to me too...
One day at a time.
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Ali » Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:10 pm

8) Hi Freeya! I too was scared and didn't know a thing about AA when I came in. It sounds like your AA group is suggesting exactly what was suggested to me. I needed a guide to teach me how to eat with a fork n knife and fide a bike, so it seemed logical to me to need a guide or sponsor to teach me about AA and alcoholism. I wouldn't climb Mt Everest by myself my first time, I get a guide. Your AA sponsor should have done the 12 steps and traditions at least once and have 1 yr or more. Pick someone who shows you how they "recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body" where is where you seem to be now. When Bill reached out to Dr Bob he was, as we call it now sponsoring him. Teaching him what Ebbie showed him. So get someone or someone will ask you if you would like some help with that. Stop digging the hole, step away from the shovel and let us show you the way out. We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Love and tolerance is our code, so get someone who understands this. You're going to get a new relationship with God as you understand and the best possible relationship you can have with another human being. You'll learn to live in peace with the world and its people. Happy joyous and freedom is what we offer you! Dive in! Do not be afraid. This is the easier softer way!
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby ann2 » Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:12 pm

Welcome Ali to the forums! Thanks for that positive message, so glad you found us :)

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Ali » Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:19 pm

Congrats Freeya! I have my 24 hr chip glued to a magnet and on my fridge! You went to check out another meeting! In this one you felt home, more comfortable. Keep doing it. Ask where they go and follow those old timers! I did ;-) or go to other meetings, soon you'll be helping others, isn't that wonderful!? No matter how far down the scale we think we have gone, we can still be useful to others. We can avert misery and even death for them. That's why we just keep going! Keep practicing! I will too ;-)
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Re: Confused, alone and looking for guidance

Postby Feeya » Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:55 pm

Thank you very much and I will!
One day at a time.
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